


Time

by CaithyCat



Category: Infinite (Band), K-pop
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Fluff, M/M, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 17:03:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 67,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9451352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaithyCat/pseuds/CaithyCat
Summary: It was on that cold autumn day that Nam Woohyun, main vocal of Infinite, met Kim Sunggyu, his number one fan.





	1. Chapter 1: Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, reader! So, I'm bringing this story over from Asianfanfics. It's still ongoing so I will be adding chapters as I go along. It's my first time writing anything like this, so I'm doing my best. Please bear with me.
> 
> I have also never written anything so sad and tragic before, so it's a new experience that, as a writer, is definitely a challenge.
> 
> I did as much research as I could to keep everything as close to accuracy as I can, but I may exaggerate a few things for the sake of drama, and I've also taken liberties with the timeline. 
> 
> This story is purely fictional, and any similarities to real life is coincidental. 
> 
> "Time" takes place in an Alternate Idol Universe, where the rest of Infinite did debut except for Kim Sunggyu. I can't reveal too much of the plot right now, but I must warn you, dear reader-nim, that if you don't like possible tears and heartaches, to not read this. It will be fluffy, but it will also be sad.

The crowd went wild as Nam Woohyun took a bow, waved and sent out a few hearts, before being rushed off the stage by staff to prepare for the next solo stage.

Backstage, Infinite’s leader waited with a bottle of water and a box of tissues. Without a word, Woohyun took the bottle and downed it before taking a tissue from the box to dab at the tears that flowed out while he sang his song.

“I’m sorry for crying, hyung,” he sniffled.

But, the leader only smiled and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I understand, Woohyun-ah. I know it’s not easy for you to sing that song.”

“I… I don’t want to cry,” Woohyun answered, looking down at the floor. He could feel fresh tears threatening to fall, but he willed them away. “I promised him that I wouldn’t. But I… I just...”

Dongwoo pulled the younger into his arms. “I know. It’s okay.” He rubbed Woohyun’s back for a bit before letting him go. “I have to get ready for mine and Hoya’s stage. Go get some rest for a bit. We’re back after Yeol and Jongie’s stage.”

Woohyun nodded obediently and headed further backstage to collapse his tired and aching body on the couches. The make-up noonas and stylists reminded him to get ready for a retouch and costume change in five minutes and he nodded at them. Otherwise, no one paid him any attention, all occupied with making sure the rest of the solo stages go okay. Woohyun’s stage was always first now, simply because he would break down each time he finished.

“Hyung?”

The vocalist looked up to see Infinite’s maknae standing in front of him, wringing his hands as he watched the elder, worriedly. Woohyun smiled and patted the seat next to him.

“Yes, Jongie?”

The younger sat next to him, biting his lip. He seemed to hesitate before asking, “Are you okay, hyung?”

Woohyun tilted his head. He was okay now. A good cry always made him feel better.

Sungjong seemed to hesitate again before continuing, “Why do you continue to sing that song, hyung? It always makes you cry. Why don’t you sing a different one? There are a lot of good ones from your solo album. A lot of the fans say they really like ‘Scent’ and-.”

He stopped at the frown on Woohyun’s face and immediately looked guilty. “I… I’m sorry… I know how much that song means to you…”

Woohyun shook his head and flashed him a small smile while ruffling his hair. Sungjong didn’t whine or complain at the action.

“It’s okay, Sungjong. I mean, nothing you said was wrong. I do cry every time I sing it. But…” He sighed. “I wrote it for him… Sunggyu… It’s the only way I can feel close to him… I don’t want to forget him…”

* * *

One year ago…

It was a cold, autumn day when Woohyun found himself riding alone in the van with his manager. The other members had individual schedules. Technically, this was his schedule for the day.

MBC was premiering a short special series that featured fans of certain idols. Fans had written to the station months ago about their favorite idols and why they loved them, and the ones that impressed the producers were picked and featured. The twist was that these fans didn’t know they would get to meet their idol

One of Woohyun’s fans was picked, so he was now on the way to meet them. However, they were no ordinary fan. No. They were a _male_ fan.

At first, Woohyun didn’t want to go. Yes, he was known for his fan service and unique relationship with his fans, but those were _female_ fans. He was a natural Casanova when it came to girls. But with guys? Sure, he loved skinship with his friends, but those were his friends!

In actuality, Woohyun found having male fans kind of weird. Why would a man enjoy watching another man winking at them and doing hip thrusts on stage? Unless, of course, they were gay. But, Woohyun wasn’t gay… at least, that was what he believed. He never really paid attention to men. Sure, he found his band mates and the other male idols in the industry handsome and good looking, but they thought the same of him and none of them were gay! (At least, none of them were actually out, no one really talked about these things if they wanted to keep their career.)

Why the producers picked a male fan was a mystery to Woohyun, but he was a little annoyed by it. But, his managers and the band finally managed to convince him when they mentioned that it would reflect badly on Infinite and Woollim if they said, “no.”

So, here he was, being driven to the filming location. He didn’t know much about this fan except for his name, age, and gender and that he claimed to be Woohyun’s number one fan.

“We’re here,” manager Geonam announced, pulling into a parking spot.

Woohyun looked out the windows and furrowed his brows. “Are you sure we’re in the right place, hyung?”

“Mmhmm,” Geonam replied as he got out of the car to slide open Woohyun’s door.

The idol stepped out of the vehicle and stared up at the huge building in front of them. “But, why are we at the hospital? Is my fan a doctor or something? That’s kind of weird.”

He looked at Geonam expectantly who simply coughed and handed him a mask. “You’ll see when we talk to the production crew inside. Now, put this on and let’s go in, we’re going to be late.”

Without another word, Woohyun followed his manager towards the building.

It was on that cold autumn day that Nam Woohyun, main vocal of Infinite, met Kim Sunggyu, his number one fan.


	2. Chapter 2

Woohyun and his manager were greeted by a writer noona and a cameraman as soon as they entered the hospital. The idol bowed to the camera as he followed the writer noona and his manager up the elevators and towards wherever his mysterious fan was.

They entered a ward. There were already a few cameras filming. The writer reminded them to be a little quiet, as the people in this ward needed rest, and the hospital had allowed the filming as long as they didn’t disturb the other patients.

They stopped outside a room and, through the small gap of the open door, he caught a glimpse of a camera, some PDs, and two writer noonas inside. It was then that it finally occurred to Woohyun that his fan may be a patient.

It made him feel a little guilty about his earlier reluctance to visit his fan… a sick fan, it seemed.

The writer noona excused herself and entered the room. When she returned, she brought a young woman with her.

The woman was pretty, with dark hair, small eyes, thin lips, and slightly chubby cheeks. She looked a couple of years older than Woohyun.

“I’m the noona who wrote to the station about my brother,” she explained to Woohyun with a bow. “He’s a huge fan of yours. And… I really wanted him to have the chance to meet you before…”

And that was how Woohyun learned about his so-called number one fan.

Kim Sunggyu, 25 years old and originally from Jeonju, loved to sing. Music was his passion and was going to pursue it as soon as he graduated from high school. But at age 18, he was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia. The symptoms had been going on for months, but he never paid attention to them, too busy studying in order to graduate. It wasn’t until he fainted at his high school graduation that they found out. His parents moved him to Seoul to live with his elder sister and her husband, believing that Seoul’s hospitals would provide him with better care. He had been in and out of treatment for the past 7 years.

What got him through those times was Infinite and their music. To be specific, Woohyun’s singing got him through the hardship of it. Sunggyu was really a huge fan. He collected Woohyun’s posters and went through great lengths looking for his photo cards. He watched all of Woohyun’s appearances on variety and music shows and even the one drama he was in (even though he hated dramas). He even made his sister tape Woohyun’s appearance on Immortal Song because he had a chemo treatment scheduled the day it aired.

Sunggyu went into remission 3 times and relapsed each time. He was losing hope of ever getting better and surviving and had gotten depressed. Noticing his loss of hope and hearing about MBC’s show, his sister wrote to the station on his behalf. She thought that if Sunggyu’s story got picked, Infinite could watch it and give her brother some words of hope and encouragement. She wasn’t aware that Woohyun himself would show up to the filming and surprise her brother.

“This… this truly means a lot! Thank you!” She bowed 90-degrees to the idol, which he politely returned.

Woohyun’s heart warmed at the story and he looked towards the door again. The cameras were focused on the patient, but he couldn’t see him.

“Woohyun-shii, Sunggyu-shii is just finishing up his interview and then you’ll go in to meet him, okay?” the writer noona said to him.

He nodded, getting himself ready as the staff hooked him up with a mic.

+++++++

“Sunggyu-shii, there’s someone here to see you,” the interviewer said, and that was Woohyun’s cue.

The door opened and he strolled in, tall and confident, a cameraman following behind him to capture his every move. As Woohyun approached, he took a few seconds to observe his fan.

The figure on the hospital bed wearing a pale blue hospital gown was pale, really pale, with random bruises marring his skin. His hair was a thin mop of brown and his eyes were tiny and had dark circles under them. But, despite the obvious lack of meat in his bones, his cheeks were chubby.

All in all, he was small, frail, and for lack of a better word, vulnerable.

But, when Woohyun strolled in and removed his mask to smile and say, “Hello”, the biggest and most beautiful smile he had ever seen appeared on those chapped lips, a blush of red slightly coloring his otherwise pale complexion. And his eyes… his eyes _shined_.

And the first thing that came across Woohyun’s mind as he looked at his fan?

Cute.

“N-Nam… W-Woohyun?” Sunggyu stuttered, his eyes wide in disbelief. “Y-You’re… You’re here…”

The interviewer stood up as Woohyun came closer and held out his hand. “It’s nice to meet you, my number one fan,” he said, teasingly.

The blush on Sunggyu’s cheeks deepened as he slowly raised his hand to shake the idol’s hand. Woohyun noticed how cold his skin was, but it wasn’t unpleasant.

“I-It’s… It’s really you,” the fan said in a soft voice

A staff member brought a chair next to the bedside so Woohyun could sit.

“Sunggyu-shii, we invited Woohyun-shii here to meet you,” the interviewer said.

Sunggyu only stared at his blanket, with his head down. But, when the idol looked closer, he could see that the fan was fighting tears.

“Sunggyu-shii, how do you feel that your idol is here?” the interviewer asked.

“I… I… “ Sunggyu sniffled a little before finally raising his head to meet Woohyun’s face. His eyes were glistening with tears. “I’m really h-happy… I never thought… I thought I was going to die without telling you how much you mean to me… Woohyun-shii.”

Watching this man, older than him by two years, looking at him in pure joy and admiration, Woohyun forgot what he initially felt about male fans. They were no different than female fans. They were fans. They loved him for him… for his music… for the joy he brought them.

It was evident in Sunggyu’s eyes how happy he really was that Woohyun was there, and the idol silently thanked his managers and band mates for persuading him to do this. He loved making his fans happy.

He smiled, genuinely at the fan. “You’re not planning on dying on me and Infinite, are you Sunggyu-shii? We’d love to see you at one of our concerts at some point.”

The fan blushed. “Um… Well, I’ve always wanted to go. But, um… well…”

He subtly gestured to himself and Woohyun almost smacked himself in the face. How could he be so insensitive?!

To his surprise, Sunggyu laughed. “It’s okay, the tickets are always sold out whenever I try, anyway,” he said, smiling. “Noona got me the DVD of your first concert though, so I watched it from there.”

“We’re even better live!” Woohyun boasted, puffing his chest out a little. “Next time, I better see you in the audience!”

Sunggyu laughed and Woohyun found that he liked that laugh. It was like music to his ears, as cliché as that sounded.

“I hope I live long enough to make it,” Sunggyu joked, lightly, but there was a slight tremor in his voice.

Woohyun did not like that. He preferred the laugh.

Without realizing, he had reached out to take one of Sunggyu’s hands. “You will,” he said with an encouraging smile. “I can see how strong you are. And if mine and Infinite’s music can help you fight this sickness, then I will gladly continue making music. We’ll have a comeback every month if we have to!”

Sunggyu’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t do that, you need to rest too. Us, fans, get worried about you, you know.”

That warmed Woohyun’s heart, but before he could respond, the interviewer interrupted.

“Woohyun-shii, why don’t you ask Sunggyu-shii about his dreams?”

And so Woohyun had no choice but to abide with the prepared script in the next hour or so of filming.

+++

“You know, I didn’t like you guys before,” Sunggyu admitted in a low voice.

The two were seated on a bench in the hospital’s indoor garden. Sunggyu’s doctor had allowed it, as long as they had a nurse come along, just in case. The garden had been cleared out for the filming, so aside from the idol and his fan, there was only the nurse, two cameramen, and two PDs around.

Woohyun blinked at him in alarm. “Wait… why not?!” he whined, forgetting his image for a second.

The idol found the older man easy to talk to, and he was surprised at how much they had in common, in terms of passion for music and sports, even though Sunggyu regretfully revealed that he hadn’t played any sports since his diagnosis.

Sunggyu chuckled at him. “I wasn’t into all that kpop stuff… I’m more of a rocker type. I like Nell a lot.”

Woohyun pursed his lips into a pout. “More than Infinite?”

The other just shrugged before looking down at this feet. “That was before your debut. I listened to Nell, but eventually, even though I love their songs, a lot of them put me in a bit of somber mood, especially after every chemo. So… I sort of… stopped listening to music for a while…” He looked up at Woohyun. “But, then, my noona left the radio on one day. It was a couple of days before one of my treatments and I was feeling very anxious. Your song, I mean, Infinite’s song, ‘Voice Of My Heart’, it was playing. I liked the melody and the lyrics were nice, kind of sad, but hopeful. And then...”

He stopped and turned away shyly from Woohyun. The idol raised his brows in curiosity.

“And then?” he questioned.

Sunggyu cleared his throat and look at Woohyun again. “I heard your voice. It calmed me. And when you hit those high notes, I… I don’t know how to explain it but… I needed to know who you were. I found out it was an Infinite song. I found out who you were and… I guess, it was more curiosity that made me listen to your albums and… well… I became a fan.”

He grinned at the stunned idol, who was now blushing at the story.

“After that, I started listening to Infinite before my chemo and again after. I always felt better when I did. And I like your voice most of all, it's beautiful and passionate. It reminds me not to forget the beauty of music.” He smiled at the idol. “Thank you.”

To say that Woohyun was speechless was an understatement. He couldn’t come up with a response after that. Of course, as an idol and singer, he knew that he could influence people and make them happy. But, for someone like Sunggyu, his voice was an anchor. He, as an artist, was keeping what little hope Sunggyu had of living alive.

“I… You’re welcome,” was all he managed to say.

Sunggyu turned his head to look away from him again. “I think I’m okay with dying now that I met you.”

Woohyun didn’t like that. He didn’t want Sunggyu to think that he was going to die. His heart ached at the thought. But… what could he do?

“What can I do to make sure you live?” he whispered, forgetting the cameras around them, forgetting that he was on a show, forgetting that after that day, he was under no obligation to visit Sunggyu anymore.

But, it appeared that Sunggyu never forgot that fact. He smiled at Woohyun again. “Woohyun-shii, you’re my idol and my inspiration. All I’ve ever wished for was to meet you so I could tell you that and thank you face-to-face and now I have. I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

But, Woohyun wasn’t satisfied with that answer. Before he could ask again, the PD cleared his throat.

“Woohyun-shii, our 20 minutes is up, Sunggyu-shii has to go back to rest now.”

What? Already? It felt like they didn’t have enough time at all. Woohyun wanted to talk to Sunggyu more, to ask him more questions, to get to know him more.

But from beside him, Sunggyu nodded at the PD before standing up and turning to Woohyun. “Thank you for the last 2 hours, Woohyun-shii. I meant everything I said.”

He held out a hand to the idol. The latter simply stared at it for a few seconds before standing up and wrapping his arms around Sunggyu instead. The older man released a cute squeak of surprise.

He was thin, so very thin, and Woohyun was afraid that he would break him if he hugged any tighter. It just made his heart ache even more.

“Thank you for today, Sunggyu-shii,” Woohyun whispered to him. “I hope to see you again. Keep fighting, please. I really want to see you at our next concert. And I haven’t even released my solo album yet. You have to be alive for that. If I promise that you’ll be the first to hear it, will you fight?”

“W-Woohyun-shii…”

At another throat clearing from the PD, Woohyun had no choice but to pull away.

The nurse came forward with a wheelchair for Sunggyu. The fan hesitated before turning to Woohyun and bowing one last time and settling himself on the wheelchair. The nurse wheeled him away, a second camera and a PD following behind them.

Woohyun was left alone in the garden with the other camera and PD, who asked him for one last interview before wrapping up. When he finished and said "good-bye" and "thank you" to the staff, he wanted to go see Sunggyu again.

But, his manager said that Sunggyu was now resting, the filming had taken a toll on him and it was best for them to leave. Besides, he had vocal practice in an hour, so they must go back to the studio.

If he arrived at the hospital wanting only to leave, he now wanted to stay longer. However, on that cold autumn day, Woohyun left the hospital with a heavy heart, hoping to be given the chance to come back again soon. And this time, without the annoying cameras and PDs interrupting his conversations with his number one fan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The two finally meet!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I read up and did a lot of research on AML to provide as much context as possible, but there is only so much I can do with information about a disease I'm not very knowledgeable about. I apologize for if I offend anyone due to any inaccuracies and overdramatization; it was not intended and feel free to correct my information on anything and I will gladly do my best to adjust and adapt my story to fit and make it as accurate as possible.

It took only a week for Woohyun to finally find some time in his hectic schedule to visit Sunggyu. His managers had their hands full with his members who all had individual schedules, so he took the liberty of borrowing one of their cars and driving to the hospital (his excuse was a visit to his grandmother).

With his hood up, mask in place, and a basket of fresh fruits in his hands, Woohyun practically skipped as he made his way inside the hospital. After a few wrong turns, he finally found Sunggyu’s room. As he poised himself ready to knock, he hesitated.

Was this too much? Sunggyu probably thought their meeting was just a one-time thing. Would he find it weird that Woohyun was visiting again? And so soon too? Wait... was he even still in the hospital?!

Before he could contemplate any more of the answer, the door opened and out came Sunggyu’s sister.

“Oh, Woohyun-shii?” She looked startled to see him. “What are you doing here?”

Woohyun chuckled nervously as he bowed. “Um… Sunghee-shii, right? Um, I’m here to visit Sunggyu-shii, if that’s okay? Um… I brought fruit.”

He awkwardly raised the basket.

Sunghee’s eyes widened. “Is… Is there another filming? I don’t think Sunggyu is in any condition-.”

“Ah, no! I’m here on my own. Um… last time, I’m sure Sunggyu-shii seemed a little shy with all the cameras. So, I thought I’d stop by today and visit so we could actually talk. If that’s okay!” he added the last part quickly.

Sunghee bit her lip in contemplation. “Um… I’m not quite sure… Sunggyu…”

Woohyun’s heart stopped at her tone. It didn’t sound good. “Did… did something happen?”

She quickly shook her head. “Oh, no, nothing happened. Sunggyu just had chemo a few days ago and… well, he’s not really in the best of moods…” She looked up at Woohyun. “But, maybe seeing you will cheer him up! Just… um… don’t take anything he says, personally, okay? He’s always like this after a session.”

She stepped aside. “I’m just going to the cafeteria to grab some coffee. Would you like anything?”

Woohyun shook his head, saying he was fine. Sunghee then left and Woohyun was once again faced by the door.

So, Sunggyu just had chemo. Woohyun read a lot about AML in the last week to learn more about it, learn about the treatments possible for a long remission. All the medical terms made his head spin, and he read them like a champ, but he still felt like he knew very little.

Realizing that he was simply stalling himself for the inevitable, Woohyun took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Sunggyu-shii?" he called out.

The figure on the bed stirred before sitting up weakly, to look at who just entered. Sunggyu had dark circles under his eyes, there were more prominent bruises on his skin, and all of his hair was gone. Compared to the week before, he looked much frailer… weaker…

Woohyun must have stood there for quite some time, just staring, as Sunggyu stared back with an unreadable expression.

It wasn’t until Sunggyu spoke that Woohyun shook out of his daze.

“What are you doing here?” the older man spoke in a harsh tone.

Woohyun blinked, surprised. The Sunggyu of last week spoke softly and gently. This Sunggyu sounded angry and… cold. But, then he remembered what Sunghee said… to not take what Sunggyu said, personally.

“Um… I came to visit,” Woohyun said, coming closer to the bed. He raised the basket with a smile. “I brought fruit!”

He hoped that that would soften up his fan, but to his further surprise, Sunggyu only narrowed his already small eyes at him. The idol would have found that absolutely adorable if not for the seriousness of the elder’s expression.

“Please leave,” he said, curtly before turning around and tugging his blanket over his head.

Woohyun blinked, the request taking a few seconds to register in his mind.

Sunggyu… wanted him to leave? But… he was Woohyun’s number one fan! What number one fan wanted their favorite idol to leave when they were visiting?!

The younger felt strangely hurt and disappointed. He had been hoping he and Sunggyu could actually talk… not as idol and fan… but, as friends… he wanted to be friends with Sunggyu.

“Sunggyu-shii…” he started, not really sure what to say.

“Nam Woohyun-shii, p-please leave,” came the older’s reply. “Please… just leave!”

How could Woohyun deny him the plea?

So, with a heavy heart, the idol placed the basket of fruit on the bedside. “Um... I didn’t know what fruit you liked so I brought a bit of everything. There’s apples, oranges, grapes, and strawberries.”

There was no answer from the figure on the bed.

“Eat them well, okay? And get better. I’m going now.”

Still no response.

So, Woohyun ignored his disappointment and headed for the door. He hesitated before turning around again to look at Sunggyu, still under the sheets. “I’m… so sorry for bothering you today, Sunggyu-shii. Get well soon.”

And with that, he left the room.

++++++

He probably waited outside about fifteen to twenty minutes until Sunggyu’s sister arrived with a cup of coffee and a plastic bag of food. She didn’t look surprised to see him there and only sighed.

“What did he do?” she asked when she got closer.

Woohyun ran a hand through his hair. “He… um… told me to leave.”

Sunghee only nodded in understanding. “I’m sorry, he’s always like this after a treatment. He doesn’t like it when people see him so… weak. And he gets insecure about how he looks. I thought it would be different with you, but I guess I was wrong. Don’t take it too personally, Woohyun-shii. If you were balding and throwing up every 5 minutes, you wouldn’t want anyone to see you either.”

Ohhh… that made sense now. Woohyun suddenly felt stupid again.

“I… I’m sorry, I should have called ahead to see if it was okay for me to come,” he said, bowing to Sunghee.

She only smiled at him. “I appreciate it nonetheless, Woohyun-shii. It’s nice for someone to visit Gyu. He doesn’t have many friends here, most of them stayed in Jeonju and they rarely ever visit him. He gets lonely sometimes.”

Woohyun nodded in understanding. “Um… do you think I could come back when he’s feeling better?”

Sunghee pursed her lips in thought before nodding. “We’re actually heading home as soon as the Doctor says it’s okay, Sunggyu prefers to spend the rest of his recovery there instead of the hospital. I can give you our address and my phone number, if you want.”

At that, the idol had not moved faster than he did when he whipped out his phone to type in Sunghee’s number and address. Once he had it, he bowed to her in gratitude before taking his leave.

He really hoped that the next time he saw him, Sunggyu would be feeling better and not turn him away.

+++++++

Woohyun waited another two weeks to actually call Sunghee, and she delightedly told him that Sunggyu was feeling much better and less grumpy than he was the last time he visited. If he was free that Saturday, he was welcome to visit as she and her husband would be home.

After much persuasion and begging, Infinite was finally given a day off that exact same Saturday. All the members decided to go home and visit their families. Woohyun, too, made plans to visit his family, but he wanted to also take that chance to visit his number one fan. Although it disappointed his mother, he promised that he would give her a full day of his attention on his next day off. It was late afternoon when he took a cab this time, as it was also the managers’ day off.

The cab dropped him off at a simple looking home with a gate and a front garden filled with different kinds of plants and flowers. There was a doorbell next to the gate, so he pressed it, announcing his presence, and waited, one hand around a basket of fruit and his other hand clutching a gift bag. It took a while, but the door opened and a man he didn’t know came out.

“Can I help you?” he asked.

Woohyun removed his mask to smile and bow at the man. “Hello. I’m a friend of Sunggyu-shii. Sunghee-shii said I could visit him today.”

The man’s eyes widened. “Oh! You’re that Infinite guy! The one my wife’s brother is so hopelessly in love with!”

Woohyun blushed and stuttered, trying to come up with a response. The man laughed as he opened the gate to let him in.

“That was a joke, by the way,” he said.

The idol somehow felt a stab of disappointment.

“Or maybe not. Who knows?” The man continued to tease as he led Woohyun to the front door. “My name is Minkyu, I’m Sunghee’s husband and Gyu’s brother-in-law.”

They entered the home as Minkyu continued to babble on about his wife and his “very cute hamster brother-in-law.” Woohyun followed him obediently, his eyes scanning the house in interest.

It looked like a typical, modern Korean home. A simple living room with a sofa set and T.V., and there was even a piano in a corner. The walls were filled with photos of the couple, a few of Sunggyu, but it looked like the couple didn’t have any kids at the moment. Minkyu led him to the kitchen where Sunghee was already preparing dinner.

“Hello, Woohyun-shii!” she greeted from the counter, chopping onions.

Woohyun politely returned her greeting and presented his basket of fruit as a gift for the household. Then, he asked about Sunggyu.

“He’s in his room. Jagiya, do you mind taking him there?”

With a “thank you”, Woohyun once again followed Minkyu throughout the house. It was only one-story, but it was huge. To get to the bedrooms, they went down a hallway past a giant set of sliding doors that led out into the garden. The couple must really love gardening.

“Here we are.” Minkyu stopped outside a door and knocked. “Sunggyu-yah?”

A small voice responded from inside. Woohyun could hear some faint music come out of the room.

“You have a visitor! I’ll let him in, okay?”

Minkyu, then, pushed the door open and stepped aside for Woohyun to enter. The idol thanked the older man who immediately set off, probably back to the kitchen.

Sunggyu was sitting by the window, a small stereo on the dresser playing music. Woohyun recognized the song as one of Infinite’s. On the walls were posters of Infinite and Woohyun as well as of Nell.

Sunggyu turned his head around to see his visitor and his eyes widened when he saw Woohyun.

“W-Woohyun-shii? W-What are you doing here?”

Unlike the harsh tone of last time, this tone sounded more confused and a bit… happy.

Sunggyu was definitely more like himself, then.

Woohyun grinned. “I thought I’d stop by and visit and see how you’re doing. Before you ask, your noona gave me the address.”

“O-Oh…” Sunggyu looked down at his lap and blushed. “Um… I apologize for… my behavior last time. It was rude of me.”

Woohyun walked closer and gestured to the bed. “May I?”

“Oh, yes! Please. I’m sorry. I don’t have another chair here.”

Woohyun chuckled, dismissing the apology with a hand. “Don’t worry about it. And I understand, about last time. I should be the one apologizing, I should have called ahead, instead of just bursting in.” He smiled at Sunggyu. “Did you eat the fruit well?”

The other nodded, returning the smile and thanked him. Woohyun took this time to observe him. Compared to the last time, he looked much better. There was more color in his cheeks, the bruises were not as prominent as before. But his head was still bare. He was also wrapped up in a giant blanket.

Sunggyu must have noticed him staring and blushed as he turned his head away in embarrassment. “Um… sorry about my appearance… Um… this is kinda normal after a treatment…”

“Don’t be sorry, Sunggyu-shii, you look fine. Still cute.”

Sunggyu spluttered, his face turning into a darker shade of red. “W-What? I’m… I’m not! What are you t-talking about… W-Woohyun-shii… I’m n-not…”

It was endearing and so darn adorable that Woohyun wanted to pinch his cheeks. He had to restrain himself from doing so, not to scare the other. Instead, he chuckled and stood up from the bed to walk over to Sunggyu. He perched himself on the floor next to the younger’s chair and held out the gift bag.

“I brought you something,” he said.

“Y-You didn’t have to,” Sunggyu replied, but taking the bag anyway with a grateful smile.

Woohyun nervously watched as the older rummaged through the bag, pulling aside the tissue papers, and reached in to take out the object. It was a simple, black-knit beanie, with the Infinite logo embroidered on the front in white thread and Woohyun’s name in English at the back.

“Um… I thought maybe you could wear this when you’re outside and it’s too cold for your head… or even indoors! You can wear it indoors too! It’s really warm, well, the fans on the fansite said it was warm.”

Sunggyu stared at the beanie and Woohyun, for a second, believed that he had done wrong again. Did he offend his fan with his gift?

But, no, Sunggyu then put on the beanie over his head and adjusted it accordingly.

 “I love it,” he said, smiling at Woohyun. “And it’s warm. Thank you.”

With that, Woohyun felt himself relaxing.

For the rest of the afternoon, he and Sunggyu chatted about everything and nothing. The Infinite album continued to play in the background. Woohyun managed to persuade Sunggyu to drop the “shii” and the other agreed if the younger would call him “hyung.” They also exchanged numbers, so Sunggyu could let him know if it was okay to visit or not. Then, the idol stayed for dinner and by the time Minkyu kindly called a cab to take him back to the dorms, he was sure that he had gained a new friend in Sunggyu.

It made him tremendously happy and was whistling and singing all over the dorms. It annoyed the other members, but he didn’t care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your support!


	4. Chapter 4

“Hyung!” Woohyun sent a heart to Sunggyu and winked, cutely.

The latter scrunched up his nose in disgust. “Ugh. Greasy.”

The younger winked again, receiving a groan of annoyance in return.

The two were in a waiting room at the hospital's cancer ward for a check-up with Sunggyu’s doctor on his prognosis. If the last chemotherapy went well, then Sunggyu can proceed to the next phase of the treatment. If that worked, then he was closer to complete remission and getting better. If it didn’t, well, they would worry about that if it happened. 

Sunggyu did his best to explain it all to Woohyun, but there was a reason why the latter became a singer and not a doctor. He was never the best at school.

But, he was good at cheering people up, which was what he was doing for Sunggyu now.

The weather was getting colder and colder. In the last couple of weeks, the more Woohyun got to know the older, the more he discovered that the shy and meek Sunggyu was just a front. As soon as he got comfortable with someone, Sunggyu turned naggy, mean, and sarcastic and had a sharp tongue and enough eye rolls to last a lifetime. Overall, he was so not the sweet hamster that Woohyun first met!

But, strangely enough, Woohyun found the real Sunggyu much more endearing… more refreshing. He was starting to know Sunggyu as well as he knew the lyrics to all of Infinite's songs.

Thus, he also knew that despite the older’s insistence that he was fine, he was nervous, judging by the tight grip he had on the wheelchair he was sitting on at that moment.

And so Woohyun had laid on the grease, which he hoped would take the Sunggyu’s mind off the appointment. Thankfully, there was no one else aside from the nurse and Sunggyu’s sister in the waiting room with them. So, he could be as cute and as silly as he wanted!

“Come on, hyung, you know you love it,” he cajoled, throwing him more hearts with his hands and fingers.

From beside Woohyun, Sunghee snickered as she read a magazine.

Sunggyu frowned at him with narrow eyes. “I don’t know what I saw in you,” he stated. “That’s it, I’m changing my favorite to L.”

Woohyun gasped, feeling offended. “Myungsoo?! Why?!”

“He’s handsome.”

“Looks aren’t everything! I’m handsome too!”

“He has a nice voice.”

“I’m the main vocal!”

“He’s not a greasy tree like you.”

“That’s because he’s a cold, ice prince. You don’t need that in your life, hyung. Trust me.”

Sunggyu stared at him before bursting into laughter. Woohyun felt quite smug and secretly pleased. He loved making Sunggyu laugh.

“Hyung, I’m serious!” he whined, taking Sunggyu’s arm gently and shaking it. “You can’t like Myungsoo! You like me! Me! Me! Me!”

“Yah, stop that, you’re an idol!”

“I’m still your favorite, right, hyung?”

“Woohyun…”

“Bbuing bbuing!”

The older’s eye twitched. “Woo-.”

“Sunggyu-shii, Dr. Choi is ready for you now,” the nurse interrupted, gently, trying to hold her laughter.

That was Sunghee’s cue to stand up and get behind Sunggyu’s wheelchair to wheel him into the doctor’s office.

“Will you be okay out here, Woohyun?” she asked.

The idol gave her a thumbs up before lifting his mask to his face, ready to wait until they were done.

Honestly, Woohyun wasn’t sure why he was so invested in this friendship with Sunggyu. Maybe because he was the first fan that he actually befriended? Could it be that he felt sorry for Sunggyu?

But, no, he didn’t pity Sunggyu, not at all! In fact, he kind of sort of admired the older. After everything he had gone through, he was staying strong through it. Woohyun had to admit that he was attracted to that strength and determination. Not to mention, Sunggyu was really adorable… They were no longer just idol and fan… they were friends… really good friends.

His phone beeped and he checked to see a message from Hoya.

**Where are you? I can’t keep covering for you! Dongwoo hyung keeps asking if you’re on your way.**

Right. He had asked the main dancer to cover for him, telling their leader that he was making a pit stop at his brother Boohyun’s restaurant to wish his sister-in-law a Happy Birthday (it wasn’t her birthday). Hoya was the only one who knew he was at the hospital with a friend.

Infinite had a schedule that night, a performance at a birthday party of a Korean Senator’s daughter. Apparently, she was a fan and wanted them to perform for her 16th. He was supposed to be at vocal practice with the others, but when Sunggyu told him about today’s appointment, he just had to accompany them. He wanted to be one of the first to know the status of Sunggyu’s health.

He quickly texted back.

**Tell him that there’s a lot of traffic. The taxi can’t find a way out of it. I’ll be there soon. He’s almost done.**

He put the phone away again and leaned his head back against the wall.

His members were all curious about the mysterious friend he had been texting and calling almost every day in the past couple of weeks. He and Sunggyu talked whenever he had a free moment in between schedules. They conversed about everything and nothing at the same time. Sometimes, he would spoil taped music shows for Sunggyu, who would then berate him for it. The older also never failed to nag him about eating and sleeping.

Woohyun loved it.

He waited about 20 more minutes until Sunggyu and Sunghee emerged from the office.

Sunggyu’s chemo was a success and he was set for phase two in two weeks!

Obviously delighted by the news, Sunggyu chattered happily as Woohyun wheeled him to the front of the hospital while Sunghee got the car. Woohyun, equally happy and relieved, allowed him to do so, not interrupting once, as he enjoyed it when Sunggyu talked. The older was usually quiet, so this talkative Sunggyu was a treat.

“Are you sure you don’t need a ride?” Sunggyu asked as Woohyun helped him into the passenger seat. “We can drop you off, right, noona?”

Sunghee agreed.

As much as Woohyun would like to, he shook his head. “There could be cameras lurking around there, and I don’t want to accidentally put you guys in the spotlight. I’ll be fine, really.” He smiled at Sunggyu and reached over to fix his beanie more firmly over his ears. “I’ll text you when I get home from the party tonight, okay? But, don’t wait up. Sleep if you’re tired already.”

The older rolled his eyes. “Yes, Umma.”

“Yah!” Woohyun reached out to pinch Sunggyu’s cheek, gently. “You’re so mean to me, hyung.”

Sunggyu only stuck his tongue out before closing his door. “Whatever, Hyun,” he said in an annoyed tone, but his smile said otherwise.

Woohyun watched the car as it drove away from him, feeling something very warm and pleasant in his chest.

A ‘ping’ from his cellphone reminded him that he had somewhere to be, so he quickly hailed a cab and was off to his idol responsibilities.

+++++++

The night before Sunggyu’s second treatment, Woohyun couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned in his bed, even tried counting sheep, but nothing was working. Frustrated, he got up and climbed down the bunk bed. His roommate, Sungjong, was still fast asleep, so he grabbed his phone and tiptoed quietly out of the room.

He headed into the kitchen to make himself a cup of calming tea for his nerves. He wasn’t sure exactly why he was feeling so anxious. It wasn’t like he was the one getting treatment. He had visited Sunggyu at the hospital that afternoon after his schedules were done, and the older admitted to him that he was frightened. Although it wasn’t his first time undergoing the treatment, the older was still scared that it wouldn’t work, that he would relapse again and again.

“I don’t know how much more of this I can take, Hyun,” he had quietly admitted to Woohyun.

The only thing the idol could do was take his hand and say, “You’re strong, Sunggyu-hyung. You can fight this. And I’ll fight alongside you, okay? I’m not leaving you.”

The older had blushed at that and tried to take his hand back, but Woohyun refused. He refused to let go until hospital staff had to kick him out because visiting hours were over.

Woohyun sighed into his tea as he sat on the living room floor.

He wished he could be with Sunggyu in the morning before he went in for the treatment, but he had a full day of schedules: radio and TV interviews and then meeting up with composers and songwriters for his solo album. Yes, the company had confirmed it, finally, and officially announcing it to the fans soon. When exactly, they weren’t sure yet, but they were aiming for the release to be in the Spring of next year. He probably wouldn’t be able to see Sunggyu for a couple of days, while he went to these meetings.

“Woohyun? What are you doing still up?”

Dongwoo walked into the living room, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“I should be asking you that, hyung. You sleep like the dead.” 

“I had to go to the bathroom. Hold on.”

With that, he left Woohyun to do his business. When he returned, he settled himself on the floor next to the younger vocalist.

“I should be scolding you since we have to be up for 8am practice, but I’ll overlook this for once. What’s wrong?”

Woohyun gave a start. “Why do you think something’s wrong?”

“You’re drinking tea at 3 in the morning. You always do that the night before a comeback when you get nervous.” Dongwoo patted his knee. “Now, tell Leader-nim what’s wrong.”

Woohyun hesitated. He was absent-minded most of the time, but when it came to problems, nothing could escape the Leader's eyes. Could he really tell Dongwoo everything that was on his mind? He knew he could trust the Leader. He may be soft-hearted and had a difficult time getting the kids to listen to him most of the time, but if there was one thing his Leader could do was listen to problems and give advice.

As the older idol continued to flash him a look of understanding, Woohyun gave in.

“You see… I have… a friend,” he started but Dongwoo interrupted.

“By friend, do you mean yourself or an actual friend?”

Woohyun sighed. “An actual friend. He…” The idol ran a hand through his already messy hair. “He’s… sick. Like… life-threatening sick… He has cancer.”

Dongwoo’s eyes widened. “I… I’m sorry, Woohyun-ah.”

The younger placed his head on his hands, sighing deeply again. “And I don’t want to lose him. I know we just met and we only started getting to know each other, but… I think…”

He paused, not sure if he should continue. To be honest, this was the first time he was actually examining his feelings when it came to Sunggyu. As in, really examining and thinking about it. It terrified him, what these new feelings meant. But, Dongwoo was pretty open-minded, considering he grabbed other men’s butts for fun, so this wouldn’t be weird to him, right?

Dongwoo prodded his knee with a finger. “You think what?”

Woohyun took a deep breath and prepared himself. “I think I like him… Like… Really…. Like him…”

He carefully watched the older’s face as comprehension dawned on him, slowly but surely.

Dongwoo’s mouth dropped open with an, “Ahhh…”

“I… I mean… I don’t know! I’ve never liked a guy before! I don’t even know if I actually like him like him, or just admire him or find him cute or-.”

“Woohyun-ah,” Dongwoo gently interrupted with a smile. “Is this talk about you being worried about your sick friend or your feelings for your sick friend?”

The younger pursed his lips. “Both, I guess.”

Dongwoo chuckled. “Why don’t you start from the beginning so I can understand a bit better?”

The leader was flashing him those kind, understanding eyes, the ones that make the members’ resolve crumble and give in to their sweet sunshine of a leader. And give in was what Woohyun did.

He told him everything about how he met Sunggyu through the show (“He’s really cute!” Dongwoo commented, having watched the episode when it aired), about how he had been spending all his free time visiting him (“So that’s where you go when our schedules finish!” the older realized, nodding his head in understanding now), and the weird feelings that bubble up inside him whenever he was hanging out with Sunggyu.

“… I could have sworn I was straight this whole time. But when I met him, I started feeling all these weird… stuff… Like when he smiles, my stomach is all in knots, and when he laughs, my heart starts beating like it’s going to jump out, and when he looks at me all irritated, it just makes me want to pinch his cheeks ‘cause he’s so cute.”

Woohyun didn’t realize that he had a goofy smile on his face this entire time until Dongwoo flashed him a teasing grin.

 “You really like him, huh?” the older asked.

He nodded. “I do.”

“You do look happier these days… happier than most days I’ve seen you, even Myungsoo noticed. He complained about it.”

“When Sunggyu-hyung talks to me, I feel like nothing can ever make me sad again.”

“Then… why don’t you tell him how you feel?”

Woohyun looked alarmed. “Tell him how I feel?! I don’t even know how he feels! I don’t even know if he likes men!”

“Well, you said you’re his favorite member.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean he has a crush on me! He said he likes my voice. I don’t even know if he finds me handsome! He said Myungsoo is more handsome than me! Can you believe that?!”

Dongwoo chuckled at the vocal’s offended and jealous tone. “Okay, then, why don’t you ask him on a date?”

“Hyung! I’ve never gone on a date with a guy before! I don’t know how it works! What if he hates it? Or worse, what if he actually doesn’t feel anything for me and he thinks I’m being a creeper?!”

Woohyun was practically hyperventilating now in worry and Dongwoo made him take deep calm breaths. Once his breathing and heart rate were back to normal, Dongwoo spoke again.

“Well, then, just be there for him.”

The younger blinked. “Be there for him?”

Dongwoo nodded, looking serious (which was rare, since the leader was always all smiles and laughter).

“Before anything, you’re his friend and he needs someone by his side. You said that his friends don’t really visit and he doesn’t know anyone around here. He needs someone to lean on, and you can be that person for him. Just show him how much he means to you by doing that.”

He patted the younger’s hair, affectionately and Woohyun smiled.

“I’ll be there for him always, even if he doesn’t want me to be!” he swore, but then his face fell again. “But, he’s having his treatment tomorrow and I can’t see him off because of our schedules. And I’ll be busy in the next few days too.” He sighed, loudly. “I don’t like being an idol, sometimes.”

Dongwoo chuckled. “If you weren’t an idol, you wouldn’t have met him.”

The main vocal pursed his lips. “True. I guess I have my career to thank for letting me meet Sunggy-hyung.” He looked down at his phone. “I guess I could always call him before the chemo.”

The leader patted his shoulder. “You do that. But, for now, go to bed. Please. Jungryul-hyung will have my head in the morning if you’re not up to standards tomorrow.”

“Alright, alright.”

The two got up and started heading to their separate rooms. Before Dongwoo could enter his room, Woohyun called his name. The leader turned.

“Thank you, hyung,” he said, gratefully.

“No problem, Woohyunnie.”

The two proceeded to their respective bedrooms and Woohyun’s chaotic mind finally managed to calm down, allowing him sleep.

+++++++

The next morning, when the rest of Infinite were running around and getting ready, waiting for their managers to pick them up, Woohyun called Sunggyu. He actually expected it to go to voicemail since Sunggyu would never wake up this early.

So he was really surprised when his call was answered on the third ring.

 “Yah, why are you calling so early in the morning?” the older whined.

Woohyun paused. “You couldn’t sleep, huh?”

He knew that Sunggyu loved his sleep, but the only time he couldn’t was when he was nervous… or afraid.

There was silence on the other line until the older finally sighed. “I… slept for a little bit… I forgot to silence my phone so I woke up when you called.”

“Woohyun, have you seen my purple jacket?!”

“You probably left it in the shoe closet again, Hoya!” Woohyun answered before turning his attention back on the phone. “Are you nervous?”

The other didn’t answer.

“Don’t be afraid, hyung,” the idol said in the most reassuring tone he could muster. “You’re strong, I know you can get through it. You always did. I’m sorry I can’t be there today, but I promise to visit you as soon as I can, okay?”

“Okay,” Sunggyu finally answered.

“Wait for me, okay? I’ll bring you fruit.”

“Strawberries?” the older asked and Woohyun could almost see the glee in his eyes.

He chuckled. “Strawberries. Lots of them! I promise! So, wait for me, okay?”

“Okay… Thank you for calling, Woohyunnie. I feel… calmer now.”

Woohyun chuckled again. “Calm? Aish, I wanted to make your heart beat faster, hyung! Should I do some aegyo on the phone?”

“Don’t you dare-.”

“Chu! Bbuing bbuing! Sunggyu hyung is the best!”

“I’m hanging up, Woohyun.”

“Woohyun-ah! Say goodbye to your friend, we have to go!” Dongwoo called from the door.

“Okay, okay!” he called back to the leader. “I’ll text you tonight, okay, hyung? If you feel awful, you don’t have to reply.”

“I got it, Woohyun. Go before Dongwoo has your head.”

“Hyung, he’s really not that scary-.”

“Nam Woohyun!” Dongwoo growled.

“Gotta go, bye hyung, love you!”

Woohyun hung up and stuffed his phone into his jacket pocket before grabbing his shoes and running out to catch up with the others who were already on their way to the elevators. It wasn’t until he was seated in the van and had a few moments to think that he realized, to his horror, the last thing he said to Sunggyu before hanging up.

Did he actually say “love you” to Sunggyu?!?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm adding on as much fluff as I can before the angst starts!


	5. Chapter 5

The next three days were a blur for Woohyun. They were filled with nothing but interviews, practices, performances, and meetings. He barely had the time to talk to Sunggyu, not that the older was in any condition to talk to him anyway. Their texts were limited to “Good morning”, “How are you?”, and “Good night”. After his little “love you” slip, Woohyun didn’t dare call Sunggyu, for fear of what the older might think of him.

He really didn’t mean to… He didn’t mean to say the words, but it wasn’t like he didn’t mean them. Woohyun was a person who so easily loved others around him (his band and his fans were a prime example), so of course he meant it. He cared about Sunggyu. He just hoped that the older didn’t take it a different way, for Woohyun didn’t believe that his feelings ran that deep for the older… yet.

When he finally had a day where his afternoon was free, Woohyun, once again, borrowed a manager’s car, stopped by the market to pick up fresh strawberries, and drove to the hospital.

He arrived at Sunggyu’s usual hospital room just as Sunghee was coming out of it.

“Oh, Woohyun, you’re here!” she greeted.

While getting to know Sunggyu, Woohyun also got to know Sunghee and her husband a lot more. Minkyu was an office worker at a huge company, and Sunghee was a kindergarten teacher. However, when Sunggyu was diagnosed and had to stay with them in Seoul, she quit her job to take care of him. Whenever her brother was in remission, she would take substitute teaching jobs. Their parents in Jeonju sent them monthly allowances for Sunggyu’s treatments and medications and visited during holidays and birthdays. Woohyun had offered a few times to help them, financially, but was always refused.

The entire family had sacrificed plenty to make sure Sunggyu could live. That amount of love and dedication was something that the idol couldn’t help but admire greatly.

Woohyun removed his mask and bowed in respect. “Hi, noona. How’s hyung?”

The older woman rolled her eyes, playfully. “Stubbornly refusing to eat. Do you mind convincing him? I just want to grab a quick lunch.”

“Noona, it’s 3pm and you haven’t eaten?!”

Sunghee waved her hand in dismissal. “I’m fine, I just want that punk to get some food in him!”

Woohyun grinned. “Don’t worry, noona. I’ll get him eating soon.”

She patted his cheek, affectionately. “Aigoo, such a good kid. I’ll be back soon.”

And with that, she walked away to head for the hospital cafeteria. Woohyun faced the door, no longer in apprehension like last time, but excitement. He swiftly fixed his hair and checked his breath before putting on a greasy smile and entering the room.

The view that greeted him was a cute and adorable Sunggyu wearing his Infinite beanie and throwing up into a bucket.

Woohyun rushed over to his hyung quickly. He placed the bag of strawberries on the bedside next to a tray of uneaten food before reaching out with a hand to rub Sunggyu’s back. When the older was done, he pulled back and made a face at the bucket before turning to Woohyun.

“I hope you didn’t just eat,” he stated. “I don’t want you throwing up your lunch too.”

The younger grinned. “I’m fine, hyung. Do you still feel like throwing up?”

Sunggyu paused for a few seconds before shaking his head. “I think I’m done.”

Woohyun nodded before grabbing some disposable gloves from a box on the bedside and putting them on. Ignoring the pungent smell and holding his breath, he took the bucket and went into the bathroom to dispose of the contents and wash it clean. When he returned, Sunggyu was looking forlornly at the bag of strawberries.

The younger went back to his side, placing the bucket on Sunggyu’s left side so he could easily reach it if he needed it again. He then gestured to the tray.

“Hyung, you should eat,” he stated.

But, Sunggyu shook his head. “I’m just going to throw it up. Such a waste.”

“Come on, hyung, you need your strength.”

“I’m not hungry.” But, he was eyeing the strawberries.

Woohyun noticed and grinned. “Come on, I’ll let you have some if you eat your lunch.”

The older stubbornly shook his head again. “I would waste that too.”

An uncomfortable look then crossed his face and before Woohyun knew what was happening, Sunggyu had grabbed his bucket and was throwing up again. He continued to rub his hyung’s back until Sunggyu was done. He moved to take the bucket again, but Sunggyu stopped him, shaking his head.

“Just leave it here,” he said, placing the bucket on the bedside table by his left side. “No use for you emptying it out over and over again.”

“But, hyung, it will smell.”

“Woohyun, you’re an idol. You shouldn’t be emptying out your fan’s bucket of vomit,” Sunggyu said in a cold voice that the younger recognized.

He was feeling insecure again and Woohyun had to make him stop thinking that way. He placed a hand on Sunggyu’s.

“Hyung,” he said, making sure to look the older in the eye. “I’m not here as an idol. I’m here as your friend, and as your friend, I’ll help clean up your vomit whenever you need it, because that’s what friends do.”

Sunggyu’s eyes widened at that as his cheeks flared. It was so cute that Woohyun couldn’t resist pinching his cheeks.

“And as your friend,” he continued, before turning to the tray of uneaten food and picking up the bowl of soup and spoon. “I’m going to feed you, so that you have some food in you and gain some strength.” He scooped some soup and brought it to Sunggyu’s lips. “Now, say ‘ahhh’.”

“Woohyun, I’m really not hungry,” the older whined.

“Come on, hyung, just a few spoons, okay? I’ll tell you about my day too!”

“Woohyun-.”

“Sungyeol embarrassed himself in front of SNSD when we filmed Music Bank yesterday.”

And with that, Woohyun managed to get Sunggyu to eat, by distracting him with stories about his members and other idols. Too mesmerized by the stories, Sunggyu accepted the spoons of soup, obediently.

So, by the time Sunghee returned, Sunggyu had finished the soup and Woohyun was helping him drink water.

“You’re a miracle worker, Woohyun-ah,” the older sister, exclaimed in a stunned voice. She then glared at Sunggyu. “Yah, you punk! I tried to get you to eat but you wouldn’t! Do you like this kid more than me?!”

Sunggyu, in a deadpan voice, replied, “Yes.”

“Yah!” his sister screeched as Sunggyu laughed.

Meanwhile, Woohyun felt the blush rise to his cheeks. He could feel his heart thumping in that special way it did whenever Sunggyu was involved.

Meanwhile, the older turned to him and smiled. “Strawberries?” he asked, cutely.

Throughout the afternoon, Sunggyu munched on strawberries, but when he started throwing up again, he had to regretfully stop. Sunghee promised to bring the strawberries home and freeze them so he could have them again when he was feeling better and could hold down food.

Woohyun stayed that entire afternoon, sitting on a chair at Sunggyu’s bedside, rubbing the older’s back, occasionally cleaning out the bucket, and chatting with the Kim siblings about idol life. He knew that he shouldn’t, as a precaution, but these were the Kim siblings. He trusted them and so far, in the last month or so of getting to know them, all conversations they had never left their little bubble.

They felt like family.

When Sunghee left the room once more to buy dinner, Sunggyu and Woohyun were left alone. Sunggyu’s dinner wasn’t being served for another hour, and so he was munching on a strawberry again, taking tiny bites to savor the taste.

Woohyun thought he looked adorable and he told him so.

“Stop that or I’m throwing this at your face,” the older said with a glare.

“No, you won’t, you love me!”

Sunggyu froze at that. He suddenly looked forlorn and the younger wondered if it was something he said. Well, it was always something he said, but he knew that as much as Sunggyu complained about the things he said, he didn’t actually find him annoying… well, at least, he hoped not.

“Hey,” the older said, slowly. His fingers fumbled with the half-eaten strawberry. “About what you said when you called me last time…”

Woohyun blinked. “What did I say?”

Sunggyu flashed him a pointed look. “You know… when you said you… loved me…”

Oh. That. Woohyun recalled that moment and flushed in embarrassment.

 “Did you… mean it?” the older asked.

“Well, of course, hyung! You’re my friend, aren’t you? I love all of my friends!”

Sunggyu continued to look at him and nodded. “Ahhh…” He leaned back against his pillows and nibbled on the strawberry, thoughtfully.

Woohyun decided to continue. “It may have just slipped out while I was trying to catch up with the others. I didn’t even think about it, but it’s not like it’s not true. I care about you, hyung. You’re important to me.”

Sunggyu blinked. “But, why?”

“Why?”

“Yes. Why? I’m just your fan. You wouldn’t have noticed me if not for that show. And it’s not like I’ve done anything for you. I’m your hyung, but you’re often the one taking care of me. That’s why I’m curious as to why you care so much about me.”

At that, the idol took a moment to process what the older just told him. It wasn’t like he could suddenly just confess his feelings like Dongwoo advised him. No, it wasn’t as simple as that. And Sunggyu might take it the wrong way. So, he carefully managed his words.

He flashed the older a teasing grin. “Wow, you’ve been thinking a lot about it, huh?”

Sunggyu shrugged. “It’s not like I had anything better to do than sleep, watch TV, and throw up in the last couple of days.”

“Well, if you really want to know, I see you more than just my fan. You’re my friend, Sunggyu-hyung and I’ll say it over and over again until you accept it. And you’re wrong, you have done something for me.”

Sunggyu furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as Woohyun continued.

“Hyung, you know that I’m a famous idol and everything and I have many famous friends.”

“Oh yes, please continue to talk about your glamorous idol life,” Sunggyu said, sarcastically.

Woohyun ignored the remark. “But, before that, I was just… Nam Woohyun, this average but good looking kid…”

Sunggyu snorted.

“… whose passion was singing. I had many normal friends. But, after I started training and debuted, they… kind of… sort of… just left.”

The older now looked seriously at him as he talked about his life pre-debut.

“What I’m trying to say is, hyung, you’re the first non-celebrity friend I had in a while that treated me like I was just Nam Woohyun and not Infinite’s Woohyun.”

Sunggyu’s brows furrowed again. “What do you mean that your friends left? Don’t they talk to you anymore?”

Woohyun chuckled a little bitterly. “They sort of stopped after Infinite made it to two years. Not saying that it was all their fault, I was just so busy that I didn’t have the time to hang out, even if they invited me. We’re still friends but… they feel kind of… far away…” He flashed a sheepish look at Sunggyu. “Does that make sense?”

Sunggyu pursed his lips in thought before nodding. “I get it. My friends from Jeonju are the same, I guess.” He began playing with the stems of the strawberry in his hands. “When I first started treatments, they would visit sometimes, encouraging me and cheering me on to get better. But, after the first time I relapsed, the visits became less and less until they just… stopped coming. I know they all have their own lives to deal with than pay attention to me. I don’t blame them at all. It’s just…”

“Lonely?” Woohyun offered, sympathetically.

Sunggyu nodded and flashed a sad smile at the younger. “Someday, you’ll probably stop coming too.”

“Never!” Woohyun shook his head in denial before grabbing Sunggyu’s hands, making him drop the strawberry.

“Yah!”

“I’ll never stop visiting you and taking care of you!” he promised, determined.

He would never allow Sunggyu to feel lonely and insecure again! Not when he was around and he could do something!

“Woohyun, I know you keep saying you’re my friend, but you’re an idol too. You have responsibilities.”

“I can be an idol and your friend at the same time! I swear, hyung! I’m never leaving you. Sure, I’ll be busy sometimes and I’ll probably be abroad or traveling a lot, but I won’t ever stop calling or texting you! I’ll remind you every day that you have a Nam Woohyun who cares a lot about you! You can count on it!”

For a while, the older only looked at him, too stunned at his speech to speak. And Woohyun meant every word that came out of his lips. Sunggyu’s friends may have given up, but not him. He would never give up on Sunggyu.

“And you stopped treating me like an idol after, like, the fourth time we met, hyung! If you ask me, I like being treated like your friend better. You tease and nag me like my face isn’t all over your bedroom wall. It’s nice.”

He grinned while the older raised an eyebrow.

“So you like it when I tease and nag you?”

He nodded, eagerly, in reply.

“So, you don’t mind if I take down your posters and replace them with Myungsoo’s?”

“Hyung! That’s just mean! I won’t let you!”

“But, you said you’re my friend. Kind of weird to have my friend’s face all over my room, right? Should I trade your photo cards with his too?” Sunggyu teased.

“Hyung, that’s too much!”

And Sunggyu broke into a large smile and laughed

It warmed Woohyun’s heart to see that smile back on Sunggyu’s face, to hear his musical laughter filling the bleak hospital room. He loved being the reason for that smile and laugh, even if it meant Sunggyu had to tease and claime to replace him with Myungsoo (which Woohyun knew he would never ever do! He was still Sunggyu’s favorite!). If that was what it took to make the older forget his condition even for just a few minutes, Woohyun would gladly take it all in stride.

The door opened and Sunghee entered. “I’m back!” she announced, holding a plastic bag of takeout.

She paused at the door staring at them. It took only a few moments for Woohyun to realize that she was staring at their hands, still intertwined. With a cough, he released Sunggyu’s hands, lamenting the loss of the older’s cold skin.

He left the hospital room that night with a promise to visit again as soon as he could. His reward was Sunggyu hugging him around the waist with a heartfelt smile and a “thank you.”

Woohyun’s heart fluttered all the way home.

+++++++

It was a day when Infinite were, once again, given a day off as a reward for all of their hard work. Dongwoo, Sungjong, and Hoya were out shopping while Myungsoo and Sungyeol opted to spend the day at the dorms, playing video games. A year or so ago, Woohyun would have gone out shopping too with one of his idol friends. But, just like in the last few months, he spent his free day visiting Sunggyu, who was now recovering at home.

Sunggyu was still bald, so he was always wearing the Infinite beanie (which always made Woohyun feel smug). But he definitely looked stronger and had more color in his cheeks. His appetite was back, and so he also talked more and laughed more and even started moving around the house, helping out with little chores whenever he could (though nothing overly strenuous or Sunghee would have his head).

At the moment, the two were in the older’s bedroom, sitting side-by-side on the bed, watching a movie on Sunggyu’s laptop called “Wolf Boy” with Song Joong Ki and Park Bo Young.

Woohyun thought it was a horror movie and was hoping to comfort Sunggyu if he got scared. However, it turned out the movie was actually really… cute. And a tear fest, judging by Sunggyu’s teary eyes and the way he hugged the Hamtaro plushie Woohyun had brought him as a gift (“It reminded me of you!” he told the older). Woohyun himself had to turn away to wipe at tears threatening to fall and ruin his manly image.

As they watched Park Bo Young’s character tearfully say “good bye” to Song Joong Ki’s character in the forest, Woohyun turned his head to look at Sunggyu.

The tears were flowing freely from the younger’s eyes. It was only a movie, but seeing Sunggyu cry made his heart ache.

“Hyung,” he whispered. “Do you need a hug?”

Sunggyu turned to him with a raised brow. “I’m okay.” He turned back to the movie.

“Oh. Okay.” Woohyun tried not to pout in disappointment, but couldn’t help it.

They continued on with the movie and by the time the credits rolled, Sunggyu was already leaning against Woohyun’s shoulder, obviously too proud to ask for a hug, but needed some kind of comfort.

“Why did we watch this?!” he complained, wiping the tears from his face.

“I thought it was going to be scary,” Woohyun explained as he exited the window and closed the laptop. “I’m sorry, hyung. But, it was a nice movie, right? Their love was strong until the very end, despite all the hardships and plots against them.”

Sunggyu nodded in agreement before sighing, deeply. The two remained on the bed, side-by-side, in silence for a while, allowing themselves to feel the emotions brought about by the movie. Honestly, Woohyun envied Song Joong Ki’s character. He was easily able to express his feelings through simple actions, even if he couldn’t speak, and there was no hesitation, no regrets, in that love.

He wished he could express his own feelings to Sunggyu without him sounding too overly cheesy all the time that it annoyed the older. Then again, Woohyun was used to being the one who was chased. Chased by fans, chased by female idols. It was the first time since high school that he was chasing after someone, and he had no idea how to go about it. It was easier back then because too often, the girl already liked him.

But, he had no idea how Sunggyu felt for him. Yes, the older had been more open when it came to skinship with him. And sometimes, he would say things that made Woohyun blush like a giddy teenage girl. And he knew that he was an important person to Sunggyu.

But, did the older like him as an idol, as a friend, or as something more? Woohyun needed to know!

“Hey, hyung, have you ever been in love?” he bravely asked.

At the question, Sunggyu pursed his lips in thought. “Once. Does a middle-school crush on a teacher count?”

“Oh really?” Woohyun was intrigued now and weirdly jealous of this teacher. “What was she like?”

To his surprise, Sunggyu turned red and coughed, awkwardly. “Um… the teacher was a he…”

Woohyun’s eyes widened, his mouth forming an “O”.

“He was my choir teacher, very handsome and had a great voice,” Sunggyu continued, looking off into the far distance with a fond smile on his face. “He said I had potential to be a great singer, so he would always practice extra hours with me. He made me fall in love with singing.” The older sighed. “I was really jealous of his wife. But, they were also really perfect together. As if I had a chance anyway, I was a kid.”

He smiled sheepishly at Woohyun. “I know, I’m weird.”

Woohyun quickly shook his head. “Not at all! I think it’s reasonable! He’s the reason why you love music, right?”

“Yes, I guess so. I wonder how he is…”

As Sunggyu reminisced to himself, Woohyun started thinking. If Sunggyu had liked a male teacher back in Middle School, did that mean he liked guys too? Did Woohyun have a chance? Then again, it could have been simple admiration of a teacher. Woohyun had to admit, he had crushes on many adults in the past simply because he admired them. But… what if…?

He turned to his hyung again, who was still reminiscing. Gathering whatever little amount of bravery and courage he had, Woohyun dared to ask, “So, does that mean you like guys, hyung?”

Sunggyu’s blush deepened and he refused to meet Woohyun’s eyes.

“Hyung?” he prodded, scooting closer to the older.

“I… um…”

“You can tell me. You trust me, right?”

Sunggyu chuckled, half-heartedly, still looking away from the idol. “You know that it’s not something you can easily just reveal to the world, Woohyun-ah, especially to your idol… who happens to be a guy.”

If Sunggyu would just look at him, he would see the gleam in Woohyun’s eyes and the smile tugging at his lips. “Okay… go on…”

Sunggyu took a deep breath. “I like girls…” He bit his lip before continuing. “… and guys. I like girls and guys.”

He finally turned his head to look at Woohyun and his face fell at the frown on Woohyun’s face. He swallowed and moved further away from the idol.

“Um… You don’t have to worry about me hitting on you or anything…”

Woohyun’s eyes widened. “What?! Am I not your type?!” he exclaimed, feeling offended.

Did Sunggyu really not like him?

The older started fidgeting as he played, nervously, with the Hamtaro plushie. “Um… It’s not that…”

“Is Myungsoo really more handsome than me?!” Woohyun wailed. “But I’m handsome too!”

Seriously, what did that visual have that he didn’t?!

“Woohyun-.”

“Go out with me!” the idol blurted out.

Immediately, the blood rushed to his face. He didn’t mean to say that! He was just curious if Sunggyu liked guys! And besides, if he asked Sunggyu out, he would have done it in a cute and romantic way, something more memorable that would implore the older to say “yes”.

Well… too late now. Sunggyu was already looking at him like he had two heads.

“W-What?” the older said, turning even redder than before.

With more determination, Woohyun decided he might as well just roll with it. He scooted closer to Sunggyu, completely invading his personal space. The older quickly put the Hamtaro plushie between them.

“Go out with me, Sunggyu-hyung,” he stated, confidently, even if all he felt were knots in his stomach. “I’ll show you that I’m better than Myungsoo! Trust me, that kid can’t ask a girl out even if his life depended on it.” As Sunggyu scooted further, he scooted closer. “Let me take you out on a date and I promise that it will be the best date you’ve ever been on!”

Sunggyu continued to give him a shocked look, his normally pale face red in embarrassment. “I... I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

Woohyun’s face fell as his heart dropped to his churning stomach. Wow… that rejection hurt.

“You’re an idol,” Sunggyu continued, turning his head away to stare at the wall. “If people see, they would talk. It would be bad for your reputation. I… I don’t want to be the reason you could lose your career.”

He was right, of course. If the fans found out, heck, if his management found out, that would be the end of his career. He would be kicked out of Infinite. He would never be able to sing in the Entertainment Industry again. He would be throwing away all the hard work and sacrifices he put into training and debuting. All that gone… all because he liked a man.

And Woohyun was absolutely aware of all that.

And yet, he continued to stare at Sunggyu with pleading eyes. “Just one date, hyung,” he asked, in a soft voice. “Let me take you out on just one date.”

He watched as Sunggyu bit his lips, conflicted. He couldn’t blame the older. It wasn’t everyday he confessed to liking the same gender and then get asked out by an idol soon after. But, yet, Woohyun waited, patiently for his answer.

If Sunggyu said “no”, then he would let it go. He would settle for just being friends and supporting him as a friend. Woohyun was resolved to keep this friendship.

Finally, Sunggyu swallowed before turning his head to look at him in the eye, shyly.

“Okay… just one date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! A date! The ball is rolling!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It's finally here! Woohyun and Sunggyu's first date and I'm so excited to share it!!! Enjoy!!!

It took another week or so for Woohyun to find a day that was suitable for a date. It was a day when the only schedule Infinite had were two radio interviews in the morning and a CF photo shoot for an energy drink in the afternoon. As soon as the managers dropped them off at the dorms so they could rest before another full day of schedules, Woohyun jumped into the shower before anyone else could claim it.

“What the hell, Woohyun?!” Sungyeol screeched. The main vocal had pushed past him to get to the bathroom and he really needed to pee.

Behind him, Dongwoo only chuckled and told Sungyeol to just wait patiently, as Woohyun had somewhere to be that night.

Sungyeol scoffed. “What, is he going on a date or something?”

At the lack of an answer from the Leader, everyone turned to the bathroom door in silence. After many years of living together, they could just tell what that silence meant. They waited in anticipation.

Unlike most other entertainment companies, Woollim didn’t really have a dating rule per se, but it was highly _recommended_ and _preferred_ that their idols, especially their huge money-maker like Infinite, refrained from doing so. 

And besides, with their idol lifestyle, it wasn’t very easy going out on dates; people eventually assumed that you were boyfriend-girlfriend even if you were only trying to get to know each other. And dating a non-celebrity was even more of a big no-no to avoid potential sasaengs or paparazzi assets-in-disguise. But, if they did date, it wasn't like the management could stop it. It wasn't in their contract, but more of an unspoken agreement. 

So, the fact that their main vocal was going on a date was huge and frankly, the members all wanted to know who it was so they could tease him relentlessly. It was all in the name of brotherhood, of course.

Ten minutes later, Woohyun emerged, hair wet and wearing a towel around his waist. He froze at his members’ stares.

“What?” he asked.

Sungjong moved forward, excitedly. “Omo, hyung! You’re going out on a date? With who? Tell us, tell us! We won’t tell anyone, promise!”

Woohyun rolled his eyes before heading to his bedroom. “Like, hell I would tell you,” he commented before shutting the door and locking it.

The members, except for a calm Dongwoo, scrambled towards the door.

“She’s the one you’ve been going out to meet after schedules, right?” Sungjong asked, grinning. “I knew you weren’t just out visiting your brother! Who visits their brother that much? I don’t!”

“Is it Seolhyun-noona? Did you finally ask her out?! She’s hot!” Sungyeol screeched, excitedly.

“Or Seungyeon-noona? But wait, wasn’t she rumored to be dating that one actor?” Myungsoo added, contemplating.

“I bet it’s Ailee-noona! You’re her favorite member, right?” Hoya added before turning apologetically to Dongwoo, who they knew had a crush on the older female idol. “Sorry, hyung.”

The leader waved his hand in dismissal.

They continued to spout random female celebrities’ names at the door. Finally, Woohyun emerged from the bedroom, dressed simply in a warm sweater, jeans, and a hooded leather jacket. In his hand was a colorful red gift bag.

The members looked expectantly at him as he sighed in resignation. “My date is not a noona,” he answered, carefully before moving swiftly towards the door to grab his shoes. “Don’t wait up for me.”

But, of course, the members wouldn’t let him go just like that so they followed him to the door.

“So it’s a dongsaeng? Who? Do I know her? Is she same-aged friends with me?” Sungjong asked, his eyes shining.

“Don’t tell me you finally gave in to Kim Saeron!” Sungyeol said, his eyes wide in shock. “Remember that she’s 9 years younger than us!”

“Guys, leave Woohyun alone,” Dongwoo tried, but once again, the members kept throwing names at the main vocal.

Finally, Woohyun couldn’t take it anymore and turned to them with a glare.

“If you really want to know, my date is not a noona or a dongsaeng or even a celebrity!”

He cleared his throat. He figured it was now or never, the members had to know and however they felt about it, he really couldn’t care about, but he hoped they could accept it. From behind the members, he could see Dongwoo nod at him with an encouraging smile that strengthened his resolve.

“He’s a hyung,” he stated, proudly.

At that, his members stared, finally silent and their expressions shocked.

Woohyun shook his head and opened the door to leave. “Don’t wait up for me.”

+++++++

Seeing as he couldn’t borrow a manager’s car, Woohyun had opted to rent one again and drove to the Kims' house. Leaving the gift bag in the car, he nervously walked up the path to the gate and rang the doorbell. He waited a few moments before Minkyu opened the door. The older man grinned as he let idol in through the gate and led him back to the house.

In the middle of the living room stood a dressed up Sunggyu, his sister fussing over his outfit.

“Dongsaeng, your handsome date is here!” Minkyu teased.

The two blushed, shyly. When Sunghee was finished with her brother, she stepped aside and Woohyun could swear he could feel his heart stop.

The older usually preferred to wear huge shirts and sweaters that were a size bigger and comfortable sweatpants. Woohyun didn’t care, he thought he looked cute either way.

For their date, Sunggyu was wearing a thick black woolen turtleneck sweater that fit him quite nicely and white-washed jeans. His black Infinite beanie still covered his bald head.

“Wow, hyung,” he breathed out, shamelessly checking out the older from top to bottom.

“T-Thanks,” he cutely, stuttered.

Before Woohyun could ask if he was ready to go, Sunghee stepped up to Woohyun with a serious face, invading his personal space.

“Now, listen here, Nam Woohyun, I don’t care if you’re a big, hotshot celebrity, you take care of my baby brother, alright?” she told him.

“Noona...” Sunggyu whined while Minkyu chuckled from his spot.

But Sunghee was undeterred. “You know not to leave him out in the cold for too long and not feed him anything oily or fatty or raw.”

Woohyun nodded in obedience. “Yes, noona.”

“And make sure he’s always wearing his mask.”

“I won’t let him take it off except for eating and drinking.”

“And you have my number?”

“Saved for emergencies, and I know to call an ambulance first if anything happens, but I’m sure nothing will, I’ll take care of him well.”

Sunghee narrowed her already small eyes at him. “And you’re certain, absolutely, that there won’t be any paparazzi or any chance of a fan seeing you where you’re taking him?”

Woohyun nodded again. “It’s a place that’s not really that crowded like Itaewon or Hongdae. And I’ll be covered up too, I promise.”

Watching Woohyun for another few moments, Sunghee finally nodded. “Alright, Woohyun. I entrust my brother to you. And don’t even think about doing anything other than just dinner and a movie with him!”

“Noona!” Sunggyu finally came forward and grabbed Woohyun’s arm. “We’re going now!”

The older started pulling the idol towards the door, pausing quickly to grab a thick hooded jacket from the closet.

“I’ll have him home by 10,” he managed to promise to Sunghee before Sunggyu grabbed his arm again and pulled him out of the door.

The car ride to the date spot was quiet, only the radio breaking the silence between them. But, it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, at least Woohyun hoped not. He took a peek at Sunggyu on the passenger seat. The older was staring out the window. It had probably been a while since he had ventured out at night.

“What movie are we seeing?” Sunggyu finally asked, his voice a bit muffled due to the mask.

“Um… I got tickets to that new Marvel movie,” he responded before realizing something. “You don’t mind, do you? We can always exchange the tickets for something else! Just tell me, okay? I’m sorry, hyung, I should have asked you before…”

To his surprise, Sunggyu chuckled. “Relax, Woohyun-ah. Anything is fine with me. I haven’t gone to the movies in a while. I’m excited.” His tiny eyes crinkled, sweetly at Woohyun’s direction. “Will you buy me popcorn?”

Woohyun bit his lip. Was it okay for Sunggyu to have popcorn? He should have done more research!

Sunggyu must have noticed his inner turmoil because he chuckled again. “Popcorn is okay for me to eat, if you’re wondering. As long as it’s in moderation. We can share a bucket so I won’t have to eat a lot.”

“Are you sure? You’re not just saying that so I buy you something unhealthy and your sister would never let me take you out again?”

There was a short, silent pause. “You want to take me out again?” Sunggyu asked, in a quiet voice.

Woohyun spared him a glance and a smile. “If all goes well tonight and you don’t hate me after it, I probably will.”

He internally swooned when Sunggyu’s face turned red. The older looked away to look out the window again, as the idol concentrated on driving.

They arrived at a local strip mall on the quieter side of town. As a local Seoulite, Woohyun knew which places people frequented and which places only the locals knew if they wanted a quiet shopping experience. Thus, he was less likely to get recognized here as older adults who didn’t care about Kpop and boy groups tended to frequent the place, especially on a weeknight.

After parking, Woohyun stopped Sunggyu as the older moved to get out of the car.

“Wait, hyung, I have something for you.”

Sunggyu’s brows furrowed. “Why are you always buying me things? People are going to think I’m using you to buy me stuff.”

Woohyun raised an eyebrow. “Are you?”

“What?”

“Using me to buy you stuff?”

“No! Of course not! What do you take me for, Nam Woohyun?”

The idol couldn’t help but smile at the older’s flustered face. For sure, he was pouting under that mask.

“Relax, hyung, I was joking. And I like buying you stuff.” He reached towards the backseat to grab the red gift bag. “This time, I bought something for me too.” With a grin, he placed his hand into the bag to take out the present. “Chachan!”

Sunggyu blinked at the present. It was a black surgical mask with a brown-colored hamster as its design.

“That’s… weird,” he stated.

Woohyun pouted. “Come on, hyung! It’s cute! I found it while we were filming at Hongdae a few days ago. And look!” He reached into the bag again and pulled out another black mask, this time, it had a white rabbit. “We can match! Hamster and bunny!”

He put on the bunny mask. “See? It’s cute!”

He wiggled his eyebrows as he waved the hamster mask at Sunggyu. The older kept staring and Woohyun visibly deflated. He was about to apologize for his silly present when Sunggyu reached up to remove his own plain-looking black mask. His cheeks were red as he reached out for the hamster mask.

“I’m wearing it ‘cause it would be a waste not to,” he muttered, before putting it on.

Under his mask, Woohyun grinned. Sunggyu looked so cute! He reached out to adjust the mask. His hands then moved upwards to fix the beanie more firmly over the older’s ears and then lifted the hood of the jacket to cover his head.

“All warm?” he asked the older, who nodded.

“Um… You too…”

To Woohyun’s surprise (and delight), Sunggyu also reached out to fix his mask more firmly, his fingers brushing against Woohyun’s cheek, making them burn. He picked up the beanie that Woohyun had placed in the compartment between them and placed it on his head, firmly over his ears, and lifted Woohyun’s hood.

The two now matched from head to foot.

+++++++

Woohyun did end up buying Sunggyu popcorn. A huge bucket in fact. With a lot of butter. Sure, it was kind of expensive and a total rip off in Woohyun’s opinion, but seeing the bright smile on his date’s face as he munched on the popcorn made it all worth it. And he knew he made the right decision when Sunggyu fed him some of the buttery goodness in between scenes.

It was so darn cute, he could almost die.

There were barely any people in the theater. A couple of ahjummas and ahjusshis were sitting up front. There was a young couple towards their left, too busy making out to watch the movie. And a family of 5 were sitting towards the middle.

No one paid any mind to the two of them, sitting on the back on the further right corner, on the last row near the wall.

It was the middle of the movie when Woohyun decided to make his move. He knew it was cheesy but it always worked in those American movies! Slowly and as inconspicuously as he could, he stretched his arms to the air before gently lowering one of them to rest on the back of Sunggyu’s seat.

The older sighed, audibly. “What are you doing, Woohyun?” he whispered.

“Um… stretching?” the younger replied, sheepishly.

Sunggyu let out a soft chuckle. “That move is old and predictable. Heck, I’ve done it back in high school.”

Woohyun blinked. “You have?”

He turned his head to see Woohyun’s embarrassed face. “What, you think you’re the first person I went on a date with?”

Woohyun visibly pouted. “Hyung-,” he started to whine but eventually swallowed his words… quite literally.

Sunggyu had shoved another handful of popcorn into his mouth with a smirk. “Watch the movie, lover boy or you wasted your money on me,” he said, before turning his attention back to the screen.

Woohyun chewed and swallowed before leaning over to whisper in his ear, “Nothing is a waste with you, Sunggyu-hyung.”

Then he sat back in his seat to continue watching the movie, pleased at the darkening of Sunggyu’s cheeks.

The older never asked him to remove his arm.

+++++++

When the movie ended, the two waited until the other theater-goers had gone before donning their masks and beanies again and leaving the theater. Sunggyu was talking animatedly about the movie and what he liked about it, while Woohyun listened. On the way to exit, the younger spotted something.

“Hyung,” he interrupted, pointing at the photo booth. It was pink and had cartoon characters all over it. “Can we try it? Please?”

He flashed his puppy eyes at Sunggyu, who chuckled and nodded his head. Woohyun let out a whoop before grabbing Sunggyu’s arm (gently) and dragging him to the giant contraption.

They squeezed into the tiny space and drew the curtains. They picked some borders and designs, before removing their masks and began posing, smiling, and making faces at the camera. Woohyun had never seen Sunggyu smile so much and it made him even happier. The older was enjoying himself.

They picked their favorite shots and exited the booth, as the contraption printed the pictures.

There were 6 shots in total, all printed in one square sheet. The first shot was simple, the two of them just smiling, handsomely. In the second shot, Woohyun was pinching Sunggyu’s chubby cheeks as the older glared at him. In the third shot, Woohyun was smiling at the camera while Sunggyu made bunny ears with his fingers behind his head. In the fourth shot, they were making funny faces, Woohyun scrunching up his face while Sunggyu made a fish face. In the fifth shot, Woohyun had his arms around Sunggyu’s chest in a hug while the older looked annoyed. The last shot was of them making peace signs, smiling normally, Woohyun’s arm around Sunggyu’s shoulder.

“Which one’s your favorite?” Woohyun asked Sunggyu as they walked to the exit, masks back to cover their faces.

Sunggyu pointed at the third shot. Of course.

“Mine’s the second one,” Woohyun piped, sending a cute eye smile at the older. “I like your cheeks.”

 He then handed the photos to the older.

“You don’t want one?” asked Sunggyu as he took them.

“It’s a souvenir for you, so you’ll always remember our first date!”

Sunggyu chuckled in response and shook his head as he tucked the photos into his jacket pocket.

+++++++

There was a small, family-owned restaurant near the theater where they decided to have dinner. They ordered plates of bulgogi and chicken, and two bowls of bibimbap with no egg (just to be on the safe side). While Woohyun cooked the meat, Sunggyu dug into the bibimbap.

The older practically inhaled the dish as he made moaning noises with each bite.

“This is good bibimbap,” he commented. “Not as good as the ones back home in Jeonju, but good enough.”

Woohyun paused from his grilling to look at the older. “Do you miss Jeonju, hyung?”

Sunggyu nodded in response, smiling sadly as he looked at the dish in front of him. “I haven’t been home in a while. The last time I went was during Chuseok two years ago. I was in remission at the time. I thought I didn’t need to go back to Seoul anymore. But… well… that didn’t last long.” He sighed, deeply before continuing to eat.

Woohyun wasn’t sure what to say, so he opted for placing a few pieces of cooked meat in Sunggyu’s bowl. The older smiled at him in gratitude.

“Thanks,” he said. “Maybe someday, you can go to Jeonju. I’ll show you all the places with the best bibimbap.”

“Awww, hyung, is that an invitation for a date?” Woohyun teased.

Sunggyu reddened and instead of answering, he just stuffed more rice and meat into his mouth.

Woohyun didn’t mind though. The fact that he could make Sunggyu turn red with just a few choice words brought him enough joy. And the fact that the older had thought about bringing him to his hometown... it was more than the idol could ask for.

The rest of dinner was spent talking about the food and the movie they just saw.

+++++++

Woohyun watched as Sunggyu settled himself on the passenger seat. He watched as he put on his seatbelt and lowered his hood. They were ready to head out after dinner, their stomachs full and their hearts content. But, Woohyun didn’t want to end the date yet. There was one more thing he wanted to do.

“Hey, hyung?” he called out to the other.

Sunggyu flashed him a questioning look.

“I know I promised Sunghee-noona that we’re only doing dinner and a movie… but, do you mind if I take you somewhere? It’s not far, and we have some time before 10.”

Sunggyu agreed and with a nervous, beating heart, Woohyun drove them to the final location to conclude one of the best nights of his life.

As he parked, he could spy Sunggyu looking out of the window at the place.

“The Han River?” he asked Woohyun, who had removed his mask.

The younger nodded as they both exited the car and headed over to the water’s edge. Due to it being a weeknight, the place was deserted… and peaceful.

“When I was a trainee, I would come here a lot,” Woohyun explained, as he stretched his arms in the air, feeling the strained muscles crack. It felt good.

Breathing in the fresh air and seeing the calm stream of water, it brought about a relaxed feel in the atmosphere.

“I know,” Sunggyu answered. “I watched Sesame Player when you talked about it.”

Woohyun chuckled. “Of course you did. But, what it didn’t tell you was me going alone. A lot. I was afraid of never debuting, that they would find a better vocalist than me. They told me that my voice was good, but nothing special. It was the same as any other vocal in any other group.” He laughed, bitterly. “They kept me because they needed a main vocal. The other guys’ voices were decent, but theirs didn’t have the same range as mine.”

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket. He suddenly felt like reminiscing those days, happy that he was done with those agonizing training sessions and daily fear of never debuting. But, at the same time, there was a part of him that also wished he could go back to those days when people didn’t know his name and watched his every move. In that way, he was free… free to be himself… free to do anything he wanted… free to love…

He turned towards Sunggyu, who was watching the water, his hood up and jacket zipped all the way to his chin, his mask perfectly in place, and the beanie snug over his ears. His brows were furrowed as he glared at the water.

“Well, they’re wrong,” the older said turning to the idol. “Your voice is amazing, and if they listen closely, they would know that it’s unique, special. It has a tone that’s all on its own that makes it Nam Woohyun. I can pick out your voice in all of Infinite’s songs. Infinite is not Infinite without you.”

Woohyun chuckled and fully turned his body towards Sunggyu. “You know, hyung, before I met you, idol life was turning really dull. It was just schedule after schedule, pretending and acting for the cameras, I felt like a robot.” He sighed. “There were even times when I felt like I no longer enjoyed singing. That I was just singing because I had to, not because I want to.”

Sunggyu remained quiet as he looked at Woohyun, who had now stepped closer to him.

“Hyung…” He hesitated before taking the older’s cold hands in his. “Do you know… that every time I sing onstage now… I imagine you in the crowd, watching me? That I imagine that you’re right in front of me, and I’m singing to you?”

Sunggyu’s eyes widened.

Woohyun took a deep breath and continued, “Because, hyung, whenever I do that, I’m singing with my whole heart… I’m singing with a purpose… I’m singing like I need it to breathe again.”

The older continued to remain silent so Woohyun continued, “You make me do crazy things, you know. Instead of resting after a schedule, I go off to see you. I lie to the managers and I lie to Dongwoo-hyung so that he doesn’t have to lie to the managers about where I go. I’ve rented more cars in the last two months than I have in my entire idol career. I’m greasier than ever whenever I’m with you, it even makes me cringe! Me! The master of grease! You really… really… make me do crazy things.”

“W-Woohyun… w-what are you saying?” Sunggyu’s voice had a trembling lilt to it and the younger wondered if it was from the cold or nervousness or a mix of both.

And the idol was nervous too. So darn nervous. More nervous than he was during his audition. More nervous than he was during their debut stage. More nervous than when they waited in agony if Infinite was going to continue or disband.

He was so nervous he felt like throwing up. But, that wouldn’t be a pretty sight.

It was now or never. He took a deep, calming breath, hoping his heart would stop trying to jump out of his chest.

“I’m saying, Kim Sunggyu, that I like you,” Woohyun finally confessed. “I like you a lot. I don’t know what it is about you. Maybe it’s because you’re strong, even if you think you’re weak. Or because you’re kind and caring, even if you hide behind your sarcasm. Or because your passion for music reminds me of mine. Or maybe it’s your cute cheeks and tiny eyes and weird sense of humor. I don’t know the exact reason, but I know one thing for sure.”

Sunggyu’s hands were trembling in his hold now, but Woohyun couldn’t stop now. He had to reveal everything that was in his heart or he would explode. He brought Sunggyu’s hands close to his lips and blew on them to warm them up.

“Hyung,” he continued, eyes locked on Sunggyu’s. “I want to be with you.”

Sunggyu moved to take his hands from Woohyun’s but the latter held them tighter against his chest.

“W-Woohyun-ah, you don’t know what you’re saying,” he stammered, struggling to get his hands back.

“Hyung, date me. Be mine.”

The older’s eyes were wide in panic. “No! You’re confused! Woohyun, let go!”

The idol reluctantly released his hold but stood his ground. “I know you think my feelings aren’t real, but they are. I meant every word. Sunggyu-hyung, I like you a lot and I want to be with you.”

Sunggyu took a step back, shaking his head. “Woohyun, going on a date with you is one thing, but actually dating you is a completely different matter! You’re an idol, remember that? You have a reputation. And you know how society is when it comes to things like this.”

“I don’t care.”

“This won’t be an ordinary dating scandal, Woohyun. I’m a man, did you forget? And that I’m dying?”

Woohyun flinched at that but refused to back down. “I’ll make sure you live!”

Sunggyu scoffed. “As if you had any power over whether I lived or died.” He glared through the darkness at the stubborn idol. “Besides, whether I’m sick or not, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m still a man, and a relationship with me is wrong in people’s eyes. It will ruin everything you worked hard for!”

“I’ll deal with it! I just want to be with you!”

Sunggyu continued to glare at him as he raised his hands to his face to move his mask aside. Woohyun could see his entire face now, and even with the angry glare, he still looked handsome, so handsome that Woohyun just wanted to take him in his arms and never let go.

But, Sunggyu was stubborn. He continued to glare, even if his hands shook, and his eyes could barely meet his.

“You’re crazy, Nam Woohyun. I can’t let you do that,” he said, his voice trembling but clear now that the barrier was gone. “I won’t let you. I care about you too much to let you do that.”

That last statement was music to Woohyun’s ears. Sunggyu cared about him!

But, before he could respond, the older’s next words stopped him in his tracks. “Take me home. Now.”

And with that, Sunggyu turned around and walked back to the car, his hands working on putting his mask back on.

“Wait! Hyung!” He had no choice but to follow the older.

In the car, Woohyun tried to start the conversation again, but once more, Sunggyu spoke first.

“I’m tired, Woohyun,” he said in a weak voice. “It’s almost 10. Take me home. Please.”

That “please” was what got Woohyun swallowing his bruised ego and finally getting the car started.

The drive to the Kim household was silent, even the radio was turned off.

When they arrived, Woohyun barely killed the engine before Sunggyu was already climbing out of the car and towards the front gate. He finished unlocking the gate with his keys by the time Woohyun was out of the car and joining him. He followed the older to the front door, keeping a few steps away behind him as to not make him uncomfortable with their already complicated situation.

As Sunggyu silently unlocked his front door, Woohyun finally spoke, “Will you at least think about it?”

Sunggyu froze, the door open a crack, but he didn’t move.

“Hyung,” Woohyun tried again. “At least think about it. I meant every word. And you said you cared about me. That counts for something, right?”

Sunggyu released a heavy sigh. “Woohyun… this is too… complicated.”

“I know. But… I’m willing to look past the complications if it means being with you. Whether as a friend… or a boyfriend, I don’t care. Just… just let me be by your side… Please?”

“This isn’t a drama, Woohyun. Nothing good will come out of this.”

“Something good will. And that good is me and you, together… I want to make you happy, hyung… because you do the same for me.”

After a breath or so, Sunggyu finally turned around. His eyes were conflicted, as they locked with Woohyun’s. There was an internal war going on within the older.

Woohyun tried again. “Please… think about it?”

Sunggyu continued to stare. He wasn’t sure how long they kept staring at each other but the older finally nodded.

“I’ll think about it,” he said, carefully and firmly added, “But I can’t promise you anything.”

Woohyun fought the smile that was threatening to burst from his lips from Sunggyu’s acceptance. Instead, he nodded and offered another compromise.

“If you want, I can leave you alone for a few days so you can think, clearly.”

Sunggyu nodded again before turning around and entering his home. Before he closed the door, he hesitated and then cleared his throat.

“Thank you,” he said. “I had a great time tonight.”

This time, Woohyun smiled as wide as he could. “I had a great time too, Sunggyu-hyung. A really great time.”

Sunggyu tilted his head and with a short, “Good night”, he closed the door shut, leaving Woohyun alone on the doorstep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ahhhh cuteness and fluff are so fun to write, but I have to throw in some angst too, to make it a bit more realistic. Sunggyu's situation isn't easy, you know. And in this story, he can't afford to be selfish, because as he said, Woohyun is an idol and dating a man would not be an ordinary dating scandal. You know how it is. But, maybe they can make it work? We shall see!


	7. Chapter 7

Three days later, Woohyun was at Incheon airport, sitting on comfortable cushioned seats in the VIP lounge as he stared at his phone... more like glared, but, semantics. Beside him, Sungyeol was lying back on the seat, mouth open as he napped before their flight in about another hour or so. The rest of Infinite were wandering around the airport, buying snacks or shopping in Duty-Free.

Woohyun continued to stare at his phone, biting his lip as his thumb hovered over the screen.

“You know, you can just send a quick text,” said Hoya, as he sank onto the seat beside the main vocal with a bag of triangle kimbap and a bottle of water.

“You think so?” Woohyun asked, unsure. “It won’t be too desperate, right?”

“Desperate is if you call and text non-stop,” the dancer replied, taking out one of the kimbap and handing it to Woohyun. “You barely talked in the last couple of days. I’m sure he’d like to hear from you. Even just once.”

Woohyun started biting his lip again, uncertain. But, finally, he made up his mind and opened up a new text message.

**Hi hyung. How have you been? I miss you.**

Woohyun stopped then deleted the text.

**I know I said I would give you a few days but I**

He stopped and deleted the message again. He bit his lip once more, racking his head on what to say.

**Hi hyung. I’m going to be in Hong Kong for 3 days for a fan meeting. We’re leaving in an hour.** **L**

Before he could change his mind again, he pressed ‘send’. Trying to calm his racing heart, he leaned back on the seat as he unwrapped the kimbap and took a bite.

It wasn’t even a minute later when his phone buzzed with a reply.

**Have a safe flight. Don’t forget to eat. We’ll talk when you get back.**

Beside him, Hoya whistled. “Guess that means you two are finally figuring out if you’re gonna date or not?”

“Shut up,” Woohyun hissed as he typed a reply, his heart pounding.

**Awww Hyung you do care! I’ll be back soon! ^_^**

After he hit ‘send’, the idol leaned back on the seat again, sighing loudly. Hoya patted his shoulder in sympathy.

Surprisingly, when he returned from his date with Sunggyu a few days ago, the rest of Infinite didn’t make such a huge fuss about his date being a man. Maybe Dongwoo had filled them in or they were far more open-minded than Woohyun initially assumed, but otherwise, he had never been so happy and so grateful to have a family like Infinite.

Hoya poked his shoulder and the main vocal turned his head towards him in question.

“If you ask me, I think you two look good together,” he said with a nonchalant look. “And he’d be an idiot not to have you.”

He sounded so awkward that Woohyun’s heart warmed at the thought. He and Hoya were the closest in age and back during trainee days, Woohyun would help him with his vocals in exchange for Hoya helping him with dancing. Woohyun was the type to openly express his feelings whereas Hoya tended to be more reserved, so their conversations were awkward sometimes. Nonetheless, the dancer was a good friend and companion, if you didn’t mind the silence too much.

“Thanks, Hoya,” Woohyun responded, reaching out to ruffle the younger’s hair.

Hoya whined, slapping his hand away and putting on his headphones. On Woohyun’s other side, Sungyeol remained asleep, dead to the rest of the world.

The fan meet in Hong Kong went well. Not much happened on the first day, just the usual rounds of performances, Q&As, games with the fans, and autograph signing and high-touch for the lucky few. Same goes for the second day. The third and last day was the one that stood out the most in Woohyun’s memory.

On that third day, as he was busy signing an album for a cute teenage girl and trying his best to communicate to her in Chinese, he spied a male fan in the line. Now, there were a couple of male fans during the fan meet, but none had been lucky to have been picked for the autograph-signing and high touch… until now.

Woohyun was the 5th member in their set-up with Myungsoo as the last. As the fans moved along the line, he kept his eye on the male fan, wondering whose fan he is out of the six of them.

When the male fan reached him, Woohyun flashed his usual bright smile and said “Hello” in Chinese. To his surprise, the male fan blushed a deep red as he bowed deeply, handing his album and a gift bag to Woohyun with shaking hands and not meeting his eyes.

It was adorable.

He thanked the fan as he opened the gift bag, revealing packs of healthy snacks – so the fan knew about his obsession with health. As he went through the album looking for the page with his photo, he asked the fan who his favorite Infinite member was.

“U-Um… Y-You…” the fan stuttered out.

A year ago, Woohyun would have been terribly uncomfortable and awkward. But all that has changed. Now, he looked at the fan, smiling brightly at him, causing the other to blush an even deeper shade of red. He was young, probably around eighteen, and wore thick-rimmed rectangular glasses.

“Really? Ahhh, thank you!” Woohyun said, finding a page with his photo, signing it, and drawing a cute bunny in the corner.

He handed the signed album back to the fan who took it with a grateful bow. The kid seemed to hesitate. Woohyun noticed earlier that he didn’t shake hands with the other members, only high-fived them.

With a grin, the idol held out both his hands, as he usually did with female fans. The male fan looked surprised as he looked at Woohyun with a questioning look. The idol nodded in encouragement and that was all the male fan needed before putting the album down on the table and linking his hands with Woohyun’s. He even started to cry a little so Woohyun did a little shake with their clasped hands before letting go and reaching out to ruffle the fan’s hair and wipe the tears away.

“Thank you for your support!” he said.

The male fan’s smile was wide and bright as he bowed and thanked Woohyun over and over again until it was time for him to move to Myungsoo.

The trending topic in Infinite’s fan café and the Kpop community that day was #WoohyunsFanboy. Everyone shared fan-captured photos and videos of Woohyun linking hands with his fan, ruffling his hair, and wiping away the tears.

+++++++

It had taken a few days after their Hong Kong fan meeting, but after one radio interview and a magazine photo shoot in the morning to noon, Infinite was finally let loose in the afternoon so they could take a break before the next day’s scheduled fan meeting in Daegu.

So, of course, it had Woohyun texting Sunggyu a “Can I come over later?” and was given the “Okay” by the older.

After going back to the dorm, showering, and changing clothes, Woohyun bid his band mates good bye and took a taxi to the Kims’. Standing at the gate, he looked down at his phone where there was a text from Sunggyu.

**I left the gate open for you. Just knock when you’re here.**

Woohyun pushed the gate open and, sure enough, it allowed him in. He made sure to lock it before walking up the path to the front door. He couldn’t help but remember that the last time he walked down this path, he was following Sunggyu and asking him to think about dating him.

Was Sunggyu going to answer him today?

He was nervous. He had a gut feeling that Sunggyu liked him back, but there was also a possibility that Woohyun might have read too deep into the older’s fondness for him.

He stopped outside the door and took a deep breath to try to calm himself. It was no use turning back now. He dove into this head first, and he would see it through to the end, whether that meant he ended up with a boyfriend or a broken heart.

Lifting a shaking fist, he knocked on the door. “Sunggyu-hyung,” he called out. “It’s me.”

It took a minute or so, but the door finally opened and Sunggyu’s face popped out.

Woohyun immediately smiled, even though Sunggyu couldn’t see it because of his mask, but he hoped it showed in his eyes.

“Hi, hyung,” he said.

Sunggyu’s face held an unreadable expression as he nodded his head in greeting. “Come on in,” he said, opening the door wider to let the idol in.

Woohyun entered and when the door finally closed, he removed his mask.

“Did you eat?” Sunggyu asked him. “Noona left some food out. We can eat together.”

Woohyun’s brows furrowed in worry. “You didn’t eat yet, hyung?! It’s almost 3! Wait… are you feeling bad? Do you feel like throwing up? I thought your appetite was back! Should I call-.”

“Woohyun-ah, I’m fine.” Sunggyu shook his head before heading to the kitchen. “You worry too much. You and noona.”

Woohyun followed him. “But, why didn’t you eat?! Of course, I would worry!”

Sunggyu paused from uncovering the food on the table and blushed. “Um… I was waiting for you.”

There was a silent pause as the words registered in Woohyun’s mind.

Sunggyu didn’t eat… because he was waiting for him?

That made the idol grin, widely. “Hyung is so sweet!” He moved forward and wrapped his arms around the older’s waist.

Sunggyu let out a squeak. They stayed like that for a breath or two until Sunggyu cleared his throat as he tried to pry Woohyun’s arms off his waist. “U-Um… Come on, you idiot. Let’s eat before the food gets cold.”

+++++++

When the two finished lunch, they settled on the couch in the living room, watching reruns of “Running Man” on T.V. They were going to be alone for a few hours. Minkyu was at work and it turned out that Sunghee was hired for a substitute teaching job at an elementary school for a couple of weeks, while a teacher was out on her honeymoon.

The two young men had the whole house to themselves.

Woohyun wasn’t really paying attention to the show, his mind on the quiet man next to him. They were side-to-side, only a few inches apart. If Woohyun really wanted to (and he did, actually), he could just stretch his elbow out a little and touch Sunggyu (but he didn’t, out of respect for the older, whose answer to his confession was still unknown).

“Um… So… What were you up to while I was gone?” Woohyun decided to ask.

“Hmm? I just… watched a lot of T.V… and movies,” Sunggyu answered.

“Sounds… fun…”

Sunggyu twiddled his fingers. “Um… How was Hong Kong?”

Woohyun brightened. “It was great! The food was great! And the fans were nice!”

At the mention of fans, Sunggyu pursed his lips. “Really?”

“Yeah, they were so sweet! They gave me a lot of gifts! Most of them were snacks. Omo, I should have brought you some! Next time, I visit, okay?”

“Hmm… Okay.” Sunggyu paused as if contemplating and continued, “I heard about the fanboy. You two looked cozy. You held his hand and everything.”

Was that Woohyun’s imagination or did Sunggyu sound… jealous?

The idol internally grinned and decided to tease him a bit. “Yeah? He was so nice! He really knew what I liked when it came to snacks. He told me I was his favorite!”

Sunggyu let out what sounded like a scoff and Woohyun would have missed it if he wasn’t paying attention. “Really now?”

Woohyun continued on, pleasantly. “He was kinda cute too, little button nose and chubby cheeks. They looked squishy.”

“Oh, _really_ , now?”

The older’s tone sounded annoyed now. And was that still Woohyun’s imagination or did Sunggyu actually puff out his cheeks?

This was way too cute and the idol wasn’t sure if his heart could handle any more of it!

He reached out and poked one of Sunggyu’s cheeks. “But… you’re cuter.”

Then, he winked, saucily, causing the entire pale face of Sunggyu to turn red.

“S-Stop that,” the older stuttered.

“Hmmm? Stop what?” Woohyun pouted his lips a little as he tilted his head to side, releasing all of the aegyo he possessed full-force.

Sunggyu pointed at his face. “That… that face.”

“What about my face?”

Sunggyu bit his lip, nervously. “That face that makes my heart beat really fast,” he admitted in a low voice.

Woohyun’s ears perked at that. If the older’s heart was beating fast, it meant that Woohyun was making him nervous… or excited… maybe both?

“Hmm… I can’t really help it if my face is handsome, hyung,” the younger answered, grinning and wiggling his eyebrows.

At that, Sunggyu had no answer. Instead, he turned away and stared at his hands on his lap, twiddling his fingers. His brows were furrowed deep in concentration and it made Woohyun wonder what he was thinking so deeply about.

“I wrote a song while you were gone,” Sunggyu finally said, looking up at Woohyun. “D-Do… Do you want to hear?”

Woohyun’s eyes widened in surprise at that, but nodded. He knew that Sunggyu had wanted to be a musician before he got sick, so he had written songs. But, he had also told the idol that after his first relapse, he fell into such a deep depression that he hadn’t written any since then. So, this was quite a surprise, but Woohyun was excited to hear it.

Sunggyu turned the T.V. off and got up from the couch. He headed for the piano and Woohyun followed him. The two settled into the bench and it was only now that the idol noticed the folded up music sheet against it.

Sunggyu seemed to hesitate before lifting his hands to rest on the keys.

“Um… it’s short… and probably not that good,” he stated.

Woohyun nodded anyway, smiling in encouragement. Sunggyu swallowed, nervously, before finally pressing his slender fingers on the keys and starting to play.

The intro melody was beautiful, like rainwater falling on the pavement, was how Woohyun would describe it.

But, when Sunggyu started singing, it turned into a beautiful rainstorm…

**If I had just one miraculous moment**

**It’s probably the day I first met you**

Sunggyu had never sung in front of Woohyun before. Sunghee once told the idol that Sunggyu had a beautiful, unique voice. And he was hearing it for the first time and he wanted to cry.

**If there was a hell-like moment that I want to forget**

**It’s probably when I let you go**

Woohyun couldn’t stop the shivers running through his body as he listened to Sunggyu. It made the hairs on his arm stand on end, forming goosebumps on his skin.

**I can’t do anything**

**Because all of my air is filled up with you**

**Even if I slightly move**

**I bump into you**

Sunggyu wasn’t even reading from the music sheet in front of him anymore. He was singing and playing purely from the heart.

**I need to empty you out little by little**

**Yes, I need to erase you**

**I bite my lips and tell myself**

**But I can’t even start**

He suddenly stopped and Woohyun wanted to beg him to keep going, to keep singing with that beautiful voice. Woohyun had never heard such a sweet flowing voice in his entire life. Maybe he was biased because of his feelings, but now that he heard it, he knew he would never get enough of Sunggyu’s singing voice.

Sunggyu turned to him, lips pursed. “I haven’t really gotten very far with it,” he said, a bit nervously. “But… when I wrote it, I thought about… what you said to me…. Last time…”

Woohyun’s breath caught in his throat as he realized that this was it… Sunggyu was finally going to answer him.

That song was Sunggyu’s answer… but, did he interpret it in the way that Sunggyu wanted to relay?

“And I talked to noona too,” Sunggyu continued, unaware of Woohyun’s inner turmoil. “And she told me that it was no use denying feelings that are already there. They would just eat me up and in the end… I might regret it. And so I thought about it… that if I were to leave this world sometime soon, I don’t want to leave it with regrets.”

Woohyun’s heart was now beating painfully hard against his chest, and he could barely breathe.

Sunggyu flashed him a soft smile. “I like you too, you know. A lot. I guess dating you wouldn’t be so bad.”

And there it was. The answer. The answer that Woohyun so wanted and was hoping to hear.

He could barely register what he was doing but before he knew it, he was moving forward to wrap Sunggyu in a tight hug. It took a second or so before he felt him return the hug just as tightly, tucking his chin on the idol’s shoulder.

Woohyun was vibrating, his heart, mind, and soul full of nothing but warmth, happiness, and relief at finally having the older in his arms… as _his_. Sunggyu was his now… Kim Sunggyu was his boyfriend!

His eyes began to water and he let out an involuntary sniffle.

In his arms, Sunggyu chuckled. “Are you crying, Woohyun-ah?”

“N-No,” Woohyun denied, despite the traitor tears running down his cheeks.

Sunggyu tried to pull away but Woohyun held him tighter. “Thank you, hyung,” he whispered, burying his nose into the older’s neck, inhaling his scent – strawberries and a faint scent of mint.

He felt Sunggyu shiver in his hold. Finally, Woohyun let him go, but kept him close so he could examine his face closely.

Sunggyu’s cheeks were red, and he was smiling, almost shyly at Woohyun.

“Yah… you were crying,” the older teased, lifting a hand to wipe the offending drops from the idol’s face. “Did my answer really make you that happy?”

Woohyun nodded vigorously, his smile wide that his cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling so much. “You have no idea how happy I am,” he said, placing his hands against Sunggyu’s cheeks. “You made me so very, very, very, _very_ happy, Kim Sunggyu.”

“That’s a lot of very’s.”

“And it’s all true.”

Sunggyu pursed his lips. “So… I guess… We’re in a secret relationship now?”

The idol nodded, happily. “Yes, we are.”

“Are you… going to tell Infinite?” Sunggyu asked in a worried tone.

“Don’t worry, they already know about you and how I feel about you. They’re supportive.”

Sunggyu grinned. “Even Myungsoo?” he teased.

And Woohyun scrunched up his nose. “Yah! Stop talking about another man when you have me now!”

The older chuckled and nodded. “Okay, okay.” Another worried look flashed across his face. “I can’t promise you that I’ll be a good boyfriend. I’ve only had one serious relationship back in high school and I haven’t had one since. But, I’ll do my best to make you happy. So… be patient with me, okay?”

Woohyun nodded, ecstatic no matter what. “And I’ll try to be a good boyfriend too.” He took the older’s hands in his and feeling brave, he pressed a kiss to the knuckles. “I’ll do everything I can to make you happy too, Sunggyu.”

Sunggyu smiled and nodded, as he blushed slightly at the gesture. He bit his lip again, nervously and Woohyun’s eyes were drawn to them.

Sunggyu’s lips were not as plump as his own, but they held a natural pout that made the older look cute and handsome at the same time. Right now, they were pale, but whenever Sunggyu was munching on strawberries, they were pink and luscious.

Woohyun often wondered how they would taste like.

Sunggyu placed his hands against the younger’s chest and pushed him back. “Yah… what are you doing?”

To Woohyun’s surprise (but not really), he had started leaning towards the older while he was contemplating about his lips… his beautiful… luscious… naturally pouty lips…

Sunggyu pushed against his chest again. “Yah, Nam Woohyun, slow down! We’ve only been dating for 5 minutes!”

At that, Woohyun pouted. “But I want to kiss you,” he whined, shamelessly. “Can you give me a kiss, then?”

He puckered his lips, hoping to persuade the older, but Sunggyu only laughed and covered his mouth with a hand to push his face away gently. He affectionately patted the younger’s cheek with that same hand, and the simple gesture caused butterflies to flutter in Woohyun’s stomach.

“Earn it first,” Sunggyu stated with a mischievous smirk, before getting up from the piano to go back to sitting in front of the T.V.

The idol accepted the challenge.

+++++++

The next couple of days and weeks were heaven for Woohyun. He and Sunggyu spoke every day, whether it was through texting or phone calls. Whenever he had a day off or had a morning, afternoon, or evening free of schedules, he would visit the other. Sometimes, they went out to a movie or a quiet dinner date. But, most of the time, they stayed in the safety of the Kims’ home, away from the prying eyes of the public.

They watched movies and dramas, listened to music together, and even started playing the piano together while attempting to write songs. Sometimes, they would just talk, exchanging stories about their lives or whatever exciting happened to them that day (though it was mostly Woohyun who talked more about these exciting things, as the Idol World never ran out of drama or antics. But, sometimes, Sunggyu would reveal parts of the Fandom World to the idol that he never paid attention to before. And apparently, Sunggyu had shipped him with Myungsoo! What even?! Myungsoo wasn’t even his type!)

The things they did were simple… ordinary. But, to Woohyun, doing them never felt so fun and exciting before, because he had Sunggyu by his side, finally.

And Infinite did not hold back in their teasing of the main vocal. They often kept annoying Woohyun whenever he was on the phone with Sunggyu, whining and asking him when they were going to meet his boyfriend.

(“Never, if I had a say in it,” he would answer then glare at an innocent Myungsoo. “Especially you!”

“What did I do?!” the visual would complain.)

Although they still acted the way they did when they were just friends (Woohyun being overly greasy and Sunggyu nagging him), there was something different now. It was the knowledge of being with each other that made their interactions more endearing… more special.

Their first kiss didn’t happen until a week and a half into dating.

Per Sunggyu’s challenge, Woohyun worked hard to earn that kiss. He wasn’t exactly sure if he was doing it correctly, and it made him frustrated at times (he just wanted to kiss his boyfriend, damnit!). But, he knew it would all be worth it in the end.

And it was.

It happened on a day when Infinite had a T.V. performance on a music show one night, but were given the morning and most of the afternoon free to rest up. They didn’t return home from dance practice until 1am the night before, so they were all quite exhausted and needed the rest.

Despite the fact that he was still so very tired and sleepy and Sunggyu would definitely have his head, Woohyun woke up at 6am to get ready. He left a text for Dongwoo to let him know where he was going and a promise that he would be back by 4pm to get ready for the performance. Hailing a taxi, he headed for the Kims’.

When he arrived, it was just a little after 8am, since he had stopped by a grocery store on the way. Minkyu was still home, about to leave for work and Sunghee had already left early that morning for her classes.

“Gyu is still sleeping, but the kitchen’s ready for you,” the older man informed him.

The idol thanked him and Minkyu took his leave.

First things first, Woohyun left the ingredients he brought in the kitchen before heading to Sunggyu’s bedroom.

He peeked in to see the older still slumbering peacefully, cutely hugging his Hamtaro plushie. His head was bare of the Infinite beanie he always wore, and Woohyun could see thin patches of hair starting to grow. Woohyun liked to rub the fuzzy head sometimes, to Sunggyu’s dismay.

The idol smiled and decided not to wake him, so he returned to the kitchen to start cooking.

It was no secret that Woohyun was the most talented chef in Infinite (no matter how much the rest of the band denied it). He didn’t have much opportunity to cook for the other guys these days, due to their busy schedules. But, now that he was dating Sunggyu, he wanted to cook for him, at least once. He always wanted to cook for the person he loves, and here was an opportunity to do so.

Luckily, Sunghee liked him enough to trust him with her kitchen.

So, there he was that one chilly morning, wearing Sunghee’s pink apron, and humming to himself while making omelets and kimchi fried rice – his specialties. The delicious smell wafted throughout the house and Woohyun was proud of his creations.

He was so concentrated on his task that he wasn’t aware of another presence in the kitchen until he felt tentative arms wrap around his waist, a nose poking at his back.

Grinning and pausing from frying, he slowly turned his head to see his sleepy boyfriend, burying his face on Woohyun’s back.

“Good morning, jagiya!” he greeted, patting one of the hands entwined in front of him.

Sunggyu mumbled a soft, muffled, “Morning”, before lifting his head from Woohyun’s back. “You’re here early.”

“Because I was too excited to see you,” the younger replied, resuming his task of frying the rice and kimchi. “I wanted to make you breakfast.”

He pointed at the already made omelet topped with ketchup in a heart shape.

Sunggyu furrowed his brows at the omelet in disbelief. “A heart? Really?”

Woohyun chuckled as he continued to fry. “Only the sweetest for my sweetheart.”

“Ugh, stop. It’s too early for your grease.” Sunggyu buried his cheek against his younger boyfriend’s back, his arms refusing to move from their spot around his waist.

If there was anything else that Woohyun found out about Sunggyu as a boyfriend was that he was sweet, but also demanding. He liked being spoiled, but also loved to spoil.

The idol turned the stove off before turning around in Sunggyu’s arms, his hands going up to his chubby cheeks.

“Aigoo, my boyfriend is so cute when he’s just woken up,” he cooed, smooshing the cheeks, gently.

He could never get tired of that. He could never get tired of calling Sunggyu his boyfriend. He only wished he could reveal that fact to the world too. But, for now, he was going to enjoy little moments like this.

Sunggyu pouted at him. “How much did you sleep?” he asked, seriously.

And his boyfriend was as naggy as ever. Woohyun loved it.

The idol shrugged, moving his hands from the older’s cheeks down to his shoulders. “Enough,” he stated, simply.

Sunggyu narrowed his eyes at him. “Don’t lie to me. I can see the dark circles under your eyes.” He sighed. “Woohyun, I know we don’t see each other very much, but you have to take care of yourself more! You shouldn’t compromise your health just to see me all the time. I can wait for you. I want you to be healthy, idiot.”

Sunggyu’s tone was naggy, but the worry in his eyes showed how serious he was. He really cared about Woohyun and it truly warmed the idol’s heart. How did he get so lucky to have such a cute and caring boyfriend who had the most adorable glare?

“Thank you for caring so much about me,” Woohyun replied, smiling in adoration at the older. “I’m sorry I made you worry. I just want more time with you, but I can’t because we’re so busy. But, no matter how little the time, be it an hour, a minute, a second, I want to be able to spend it with you, Sunggyu-hyung.”

It pleased him to see Sunggyu’s pale cheeks turn a rosy-red color and a smile playing on his lips at Woohyun’s declaration. Sunggyu blushed so easily these days and smiled just as easily.

“You’re too greasy,” Sunggyu stated, his fingers playing with the edge of Woohyun’s apron.

“Awww, come on, you know you like it.” The younger winked at him.

Sunggyu stared at his face for a moment, tilting his head to the side in contemplation. Their eyes met and for a brief moment, something flashed in those tiny but gorgeous brown eyes. And that was when it finally happened.

Woohyun got the shock of his life when the older leaned in and lightly pressed his lips to his.

The kiss was chaste and quick, only a few seconds, but it tasted sweet and was already addicting. It spread heat and tingles all over his body, he could practically feel himself turning into a tomato. Woohyun could only stand there, eyes wide in shock, the tingling on his lips the only indication that it actually happened.

Sunggyu had kissed him! Their first kiss!

The older noticed his look of shock and cleared his throat before stepping out of Woohyun’s arms. The younger was still too stunned and weak-willed to pull him back and kiss him senseless.

“I’m going to go brush my teeth,” Sunggyu stated, already leaving the kitchen.

Woohyun broke from his trance and he tried to call out to the older and follow him. “Yah! Kim Sunggyu! You can’t just walk away like that! Get back in here and let me kiss you back! Yah!”

But, it was too late. Sunggyu had already rushed to the bathroom, locking the door behind him, leaving a frustrated Woohyun grumbling and returning to the kitchen to finish cooking.

But, it turned out alright though because after breakfast, they spent the entire morning watching re-runs of variety shows and exchanging kisses every couple of minutes. They discovered that they really, really, _really_ liked kissing each other. 

Sunggyu blushed so much that day and Woohyun could not stop smiling. They may have only exchanged little pecks and Eskimo kisses, but it was the closest they’ve felt since they started dating.

Before Woohyun left that afternoon to go back to the dorms, Sunggyu asked him a very important question that the idol knew would change the course of their relationship.

“Are you going home for Christmas?” Sunggyu asked.

“Hmmm... Infinite is performing at a Christmas Eve live broadcast special so I’ll probably spend it at the dorms,” he answered. “Why?”

Sunggyu bit his lip, nervously. “My parents are coming from Jeonju and… they want to meet you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And the ball is rolling! For the song of this chapter, I used Sunggyu's "Alive" from his "27" album, which is honestly, one of my absolute favorites in the album. The intro really does remind me of falling rainwater, so sweet and mellow and then it picks up towards the middle into this giant storm of emotions... Okay, I'm done being weird now.
> 
> Anyway... What do you guys think? Will Woohyun survive meeting Mr. and Mrs. Kim?


	8. Chapter 8

It was a very important day for Infinite. The members were all running around the dorm, yelling at each other about getting this and that or doing this and that.

It was Christmas morning… also known as the morning their main vocal Nam Woohyun was meeting his boyfriend’s parents for the first time.

“Blue looks good,” Sungyeol commented.

“No way! Red brings out his skin tone!” Sungjong insisted, as he grabbed the blue sweater from Woohyun’s hands and replaced it with the said red.

“Guys, I really appreciate-,” Woohyun started as he put on the sweater, but was interrupted by Dongwoo’s mousse-filled fingers in his hair. “Yah!”

“We have to style your hair!” the older insisted, his fingers moving through the dark tresses. “You can’t go with your usual bedhead hair!”

“What’s wrong with my hair?” Woohyun whined, but was ignored.

“Why are you wearing khakis?!” Hoya sidled up next to the leader. “It looks tacky! Here!” He shoved a pair of dark jeans at the vocal. “Change into that when hyung is done with your hair.”

“But-.”

The front door opened and Myungsoo came in with a bag. “I got the wine!” he announced, holding up the bag with the bottle.

“Give it to me, I’ll wrap it!” Sungjong grabbed the bag and ran to their room.

“Are you sure wine is good for-.”

“You need a good gift for the parents, hyung! You won’t fly with just a basket of fruit!” Sungyeol interrupted, running his hands all over Woohyun’s torso, fixing the sweater.

“Sunggyu likes fruit,” Woohyun muttered, but was again, ignored.

After Dongwoo finished with his hair and he had changed into the jeans in the bathroom (he had to admit, Dongwoo did a decent job), Sungjong picked a simple light trench coat for him since the weather that day was actually quite warm. A few more adjustments to his hair and a change of shoes (Hoya disapproved of his casual sneakers and made him wear proper, brown leather boots), Woohyun was finally ready.

Infinite gathered around him, giving him pointers on how to speak and act around Sunggyu’s parents. They weren’t satisfied until Woohyun repeated back all the tips to them. Finally, Sungjong shoved the bag of presents at him, including the neatly-wrapped wine.

They called a taxi for him and made sure to watch out for any fans or paparazzi lurking nearby.

“Good luck!” they called out as the taxi drove away.

They waved at the retreating vehicle.

“He’s gonna be fine, right?” Sungjong asked, sounding a little worried.

“He’ll be fine, he’s Woohyun, the King of Grease!” Hoya answered, grinning.

That made them pause.

“He’s doomed,” Sungyeol stated and the others could not agree more.

+++++++

**The gate is open for you. Just ring the bell when you’re here and go right in.**

That was the text Woohyun got on his way to the Kims’ household. And he was nervous. So damn nervous. He never thought he would ever feel this nervous in his entire life that his stomach was in knots and he felt like throwing up in the taxi.

The parents of girls he dated had always liked him. They said he was polite, very handsome, and looked like the type who would be very successful in whatever he pursued. They trusted that he would be able to take care of their daughter and be a proper gentleman.

But, Sunggyu was no girl. His parents weren’t looking for a proper gentleman. Woohyun absolutely had no idea what to expect. But, because it was for Sunggyu, he would do everything in his power to show and prove that he was worthy… because Sunggyu was worth it.

Just as he was told, the gate was left open for him. After making sure no one was around, he removed his mask and rang the doorbell, announcing his arrival before entering. He hadn’t even reached the door when it opened and Sunggyu stepped out in a thick coat and, to Woohyun’s amusement, a red beanie with reindeer antlers.

His amusement must have shown since Sunggyu frowned with those eyes that dared him to laugh.

 And Woohyun did.

“Awww, jagiya, you look so cute!” he exclaimed when he reached the older. He reached up with a hand to poke one of the antlers.

Sunggyu slapped his hand away. “Shut it. My mom loves Christmas, okay?” His eyes ran over Woohyun’s outfit from top to bottom and nodded in approval. “You’re wearing red. That’s good. Umma will like that.” His gaze flashed to the hair. “Nice hair. Appa might think you’re trying too hard to be a pretty boy, but there’s no time to fix that.” He bit his lip. “You should know that they already know who you are, but they’re not really huge when it comes to the entertainment business, unless Sung Dong Il or Kim Jisoo are involved, so… just… be yourself. Okay?”

Sunggyu was nervous, that was clear. It somehow settled Woohyun’s own nerves. At least he wasn’t the only one who wanted this to go smoothly.

The idol grinned. “Relax, Gyu-hyung. I got this. Now.” He put the bag of gifts on the ground and opened his arms. “Where’s my hug?”

His boyfriend scoffed, but the idol could see the small smile threatening to burst from his lips as he moved forward to wrap his arms around Woohyun’s waist and tuck his head on his shoulder. That one simple hug immediately warmed him up from head to toe.

The two stayed like that for a moment, reveling in each other’s presence, and maybe also trying to delay the inevitable. But, eventually, they knew they had to move.

“Come on you, let’s go in,” Sunggyu muttered as he broke the hug.

Taking the hand that wasn’t holding the bag of gifts, Sunggyu led him to the door. Before going in, he turned back to Woohyun and leaned in, pecking him on the lips.

“For luck,” he stated, with a soft smile.

Woohyun resisted the urge to just grab him and kiss him properly. Instead, he allowed Sunggyu to push the door open and lead him inside the house.

+++++++

Sunggyu’s father, Mr. Kim, was very much like his son. He had a glare that could pierce through your soul if you displeased him. And Woohyun was trying very hard not to fidget in his seat on the couch beside the older man.

On his other side sat Sunggyu, rigid as a block of wood. On the armchair, Minkyu was flashing sympathizing glances towards the idol.

When Woohyun had entered the house earlier, he had shaken hands with the Kim patriarch, and let’s just say that his hand was currently still aching from the man’s strong grip.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Kim was kinder, and it was clear where Sunghee and Sunggyu inherited their eyes from.

“Those posters in Gyu’s room don’t do you justice!” she had exclaimed, making Woohyun blush and Mr. Kim scoff.

Woohyun handed her the wine and basket of fruits he brought as a gift and the older woman cooed at how thoughtful he was.

Soon after, though, Mrs. Kim and Sunghee retreated to the kitchen to finish making lunch. Woohyun had offered to help, but they insisted that he relaxed in the living room as he was the guest.

Woohyun tried to remember Minkyu’s tips… that although Mr. Kim may look intimidating, all you had to do was soften him up a little and you would be fine.

One way Woohyun thought he could do that was through a mutual love of sports.

Unfortunately, because it was Christmas, there were no games. At least, none that the older Kim was interested in.

So, instead, they had settled for a pre-recorded Christmas Day special on MBC. EXO was currently performing.

Sunggyu cleared his throat. “Um… Woohyun-ah, are you guys in this too?” he asked.

“Oh, um, no, actually, we couldn’t make it. Lovelyz went in our stead,” he answered.

“Lovelyz… they’re that girl group, right?” Mr. Kim spoke up, making Woohyun jerk, nervously.

“Y-Yes, sir. They’re Infinite’s sister group.”

“Tch, they should be in school,” said the older man.

“Appa, they do go to school,” Sunggyu spoke up. “And Woohyun, you went to school while training too, right?”

“That’s right! I actually graduated from Dong-ah Institute last February,” Woohyun stated. “I have a degree in Applied Music.”

Sunggyu beamed, proudly, at him. However, it appeared that Mr. Kim was not impressed as he simply grunted in response.

Woohyun was wracking his brains for any ideas that would make Mr. Kim not despise him when Sunghee called Sunggyu from the kitchen to help them with setting up the dining room. They only used it for formal occasions, and this was one of them.

“I’ll be right back,” the older reassured him, but Woohyun only felt dread.

He was now stuck in a room with the sympathetic but unhelpful Minkyu and the cold father of his boyfriend. The show kept going, and Woohyun still had no idea what to say or if it was proper for him to even say anything.

“You know, they say a nervous man always has something to hide,” said the patriarch’s gruff voice.

Woohyun swallowed as he turned his head to the man beside him. Mr. Kim was watching him with narrow eyes full of distrust.

“I’m not going to beat around the bush, Nam Woohyun-shii,” the man continued. “What is your intention with my son? And if you plan on using him to gain some kind of sympathy or publicity from the public, forget it. Sunggyu doesn’t need that and it’s best that you walk away… _now_.”

Woohyun’s eyes widened in shock. His brain suddenly went on the defense, wanting nothing more than to speak informally to man and defend his feelings for Sunggyu. However, Woohyun was raised to be a polite child, a proper Korean son, who respected the elders, even if they were wrong, sometimes.

So, Woohyun searched for his calming energy deep inside him and summoned it. There was no place for his impulsive behavior here. Not in front of Sunggyu’s father.

“With all due respect, sir,” he started to say through gritted teeth. “I’m with Sunggyu because I like him a lot and I want to be with him. Not for sympathy or publicity, but because I genuinely like your son.”

Mr. Kim scoffed. “Let’s see. You’re a famous singer, you could have any pick of a girlfriend, or in this case, a boyfriend, in that industry of pretty boys and girls. Yet, you pick my son, my sick and possibly dying son, who was in a show featuring you because he is your fan. The show earned you some brownie points from the public, didn’t it? Or is it only because you felt sorry for my son that you asked him to date you?”

Woohyun could feel himself shaking now, but he willed himself to calm down. “Sir, again, with all due respect, you are correct, that I could have my pick of any idol, girl or boy. But, I chose Sunggyu, not because he can make my image better, but because I genuinely like him, his strength, his heart, and the way he takes care of me, even if he’s the one who’s sick.”

“That’s exactly it, Woohyun-shii,” Mr. Kim added in a skeptical voice. “My son is sick. Very sick. Do you know how it is to be dating a sick person? The dedication and amount of sacrifice? A relationship like this? It’s not easy. You can’t just walk away from it. Sunggyu can’t afford a fleeting romance, that when you get tired of him you can just up and leave. He needs a support who will not leave him in times when he’s at his most vulnerable.”

“And I can be that support… sir.” Woohyun’s voice was shaking, but he continued with determination. “I have seen your son at his vulnerable moments and I chose to stay by his side. And I promised Sunggyu, before he even said ‘yes’ to me, that I would never leave him, that I would stay by his side and take care of him. I meant that then, and I still mean it now.” 

He should have stopped there. But, no, he couldn’t stop himself. He kept going.

“Sunggy is the best thing that has happened to me ever since I became an idol. Sir, you know how our society sees people like me and Sunggyu, people who love the same gender. If I wanted to use Sunggyu to better my image as you claim I am doing, I would have never asked him to be my boyfriend. I would have flaunted him to the world as my new best friend. But, I asked Sunggyu to be my boyfriend, and I did it because I want to be with him, even if it means being together in secret, even if it means I can never tell the world that we’re together. And if I wanted an easy relationship, I would have never allowed my feelings for Sunggyu to go this deep. But, I did. For once, in my life, I stopped caring about the consequences, because I wanted to take a chance on Sunggyu. And he shares my feelings. Being with him, even in secret, is more than I can ask for. I ask, that you please accept that, because no matter what you say or assume, my feelings for your son won’t change… sir.”

By the time Woohyun was done, he was red in the face, breathing really heavily, and his heart was pounding loudly in his ears, most likely from being flustered and the pure horror at what he had just done. But, he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. Sunggyu’s father needed to know what Sunggyu already knew. And it wasn’t fair for him to think that he was only being with Sunggyu for his image or because he felt sorry for him. He meant so much more to Woohun.

Mr. Kim’s expression was unreadable. His eyes were trained on the flustered idol, observing him but not saying a word.

“Lunch is ready!” Sunggyu announced, coming into the room.

He paused, noticing the tension in the air and his eyes traveled to Woohyun’s flustered expression and his father’s stoic face.

“Did… something happen?” he asked.

Mr. Kim shook his head before getting up from the couch and heading to the dining room. Minkyu got up from his seat, patted Woohyun on the shoulder and followed after his father-in-law.

Sunggyu paused at the doorway, confused as Woohyun slowly rose from his seat and walked over to him. The younger flashed a smile.

“Shall we?” he asked, offering his arm.

Sunggyu tilted his head to the side. “Is everything alright?” he asked, worried. “Did Appa say something to you?”

He did, but Woohyun decided that it was best not to speak of the matter. Instead, he shook his head and leaned in to press a soft, lingering kiss to Sunggyu’s lips.

“Everything’s fine,” he told the older, with a wink.

Sunggyu still looked unconvinced, but nonetheless, entwined his arm with Woohyun’s and both headed to the dining room.

+++++++

Lunch was a calm and amiable affair. Despite the tense atmosphere that came with his conversation with Mr. Kim earlier, the idol was feeling much happier, much lighter. Unlike Sunggyu, Mrs. Kim was a chatty person. She talked about anything that came to mind, and thus, she soon got Woohyun talking.

“… and they sent you free ice cream?!” Mrs. Kim’s eyes were wide in fascination as Woohyun talked about Infinite’s infamous ice cream CF.

“Yes! A big box of them, and they barely fit in our freezer!” Woohyun narrated, laughing. “So, one night, we just sat around the dorm and ate half the box. We all got stomach aches the next day. Our managers almost killed us!”

Mrs. Kim, Sunghee, Sunggyu, and even Minkyu laughed at the story. Mr. Kim remained stoic, although the side of his lips twitched, but no one paid him any mind.

“So I hear your maknae Sungjong has quite the beauty routine,” said Mrs. Kim with a wink. “Care to share his secrets?”

Woohyun pursed his lips to the side. “Hmm… he has an unhealthy obsession with face masks. He uses one every day.”

“Omo, really? What about you, Woohyun? What are your beauty secrets?” Mrs. Kim asked, eagerly. “Seriously, you have the face of a prince. No wonder Sunggyu keeps all those photos of you.”

“Umma!” Sunggyu whined, turning red in embarrassment.

And Woohyun only laughed and shared some of his secrets. Some. Couldn’t have someone know all of it.

“Did you know Sunggyu used to stare at one of your posters while listening to your solo tracks?” Sunghee asked him.

“Noona!”

Woohyun found himself grinning. “Which poster? He has 3 of them!”

“Woohyun!”

“Which one was it again, Gyu? Your favorite poster of Woohyun?”

“I’m not answering that.”

“Oh! I think it’s the one where you’re wearing all black and have chains all over, Woohyun!”

“You mean for _Paradise_? That’s your favorite poster of me, hyung?”

“S-Shut up!”

“Chains?” Mrs. Kim perked up with a smirk. “Sounds kinky.”

“Umma!”

And conversations like that flowed, naturally, in the expense of an embarrassed Sunggyu. Woohyun was worried that the older really was upset, but after catching glimpses of a smile, he knew that Sunggyu didn’t mind the teasing. Not at all, especially after the cute smiles he sent Woohyun’s way when he thought the younger wasn’t looking

After lunch, it was back to the living room where they exchanged presents. Since Woohyun had already given them his gifts earlier, the Kims’ exchanged gifts with each other, instead. To his surprise, Mr. and Mrs. Kim had given him a gift too.

“We didn’t know what to gift an idol so Sunggyu said snacks are the safest,” Mrs. Kim explained, as Woohyun opened the gift bag. “They’re from the Poongnyeon Jegwa Bakery in Jeonju. We thought you could enjoy them with your band mates.”

The couple had given him a box of choco pies from the infamous bakery. Woohyun had heard about these! They were said to be the best choco pies in all of South Korea! And for this, Woohyun could ignore his healthy diet for a few days.

“Thank you!” he said, bowing in gratitude to the couple. “Ahhh… I wish I didn’t have to share with the guys. But, it’s Christmas, so I’ll do it.”

The whole room laughed and Sunggyu looked pleased with how he was interacting with the family. Mrs. Kim was completely at ease with him, and Mr. Kim had stopped throwing him glares.

When the gift exchanges were done, the older Kim couple and Sunghee and her husband retreated to the dining room again for tea, leaving Sunggyu and Woohyun sitting side-by-side on the couch to exchange gifts in private.

Sunggyu handed Woohyun a brightly wrapped rectangular box with a nervous look. “Um… I wasn’t sure what to get you,” he said, as he watched Woohyun unwrap the present. “You know that I don’t really have a job, so I couldn’t get you anything fancy...”

In the box was a brown, leather notebook with a carving of N.W.H. on the lower right corner. There was a strap on the side to keep the notebook locked.

“Um… I was thinking… You could use it for your songs,” Sunggyu continued to explain. “I know you’ve been wanting a solo album, and the fans have been asking for it too. So… while you’re waiting for that, I thought you could use this to start…”

His solo album. Woohyun had almost forgotten about it. He had been so preoccupied with this new relationship with Sunggyu that he almost forgot to tell him about his solo album!

“Thank you, Gyu-hyung,” he said, amazed at the gift and touched at the thought behind it. “This is… this is perfect!” He turned to the older, excitedly. “I almost forgot to tell you. My solo album is in the works and you’re the first fan to know of it!”

Sunggyu’s eyes widened as be broke into a smile. “Really? Namu, that’s great! I’m so proud of you!”

“So I’ll definitely be using this!” Woohyun waved the notebook before putting it to the side and picking up his own gift for Sunggyu. “Here’s my gift. Merry Christmas, Sunggyu.”

Sunggyu took the box and unwrapped it, carefully peeling the paper aside. When he uncovered the box, he opened it and was surprised to see a smaller box on the inside.

He raised a skeptical eyebrow at Woohyun. “Really? This old trick?”

The younger laughed and waved at him to continue. So, he opened that box and uncovered a smaller blue box, sealed with a small neatly tied ribbon.

Woohyun bit his lip, nervously in anticipation as Sunggyu untied the ribbon and took the top off.

In the box laid a pair of silver necklaces – one pendant was shaped like a lock and the other a key.

“I hope you don’t think I’m being too fast,” he said as Sunggyu picked up the necklace with the lock. “I know we haven’t reached our 100th day yet, but I didn’t want to wait ‘til then to give this to you.”

Sunggyu looked up at him with curious eyes.

“I don’t want to wear couple rings,” Woohyun stated. “They get in the way a lot and I tend to lose rings. You can ask my stylists, they hate me for it.”

Sunggyu chuckled and it made Woohyun smile.

“So… Key from SHINee gave me this idea. He says his fans call themselves Lockets because he is the key.”

Woohyun gently took the lock necklace from Sunggyu and put it on himself. “I’m the lock,” he said, before reaching into the box to pick up the key necklace. He scooted closer to Sunggyu and put the necklace around his neck. “And you have the key to my heart.”

He grinned, proud of the way the pendant dangled just below Sunggyu’s collar bone. The pendants were small enough that they could be hidden under a shirt or jacket. But, Woohyun had no intention of hiding his pendant. It was the only way he could think of to show that some part of him already belonged to someone, that some part of him can only be unlocked with the key that someone already possessed.

“You’re… greasy, you know,” Sunggyu stated, staring at his necklace.

Woohyun chuckled. “Tell me something I don’t know, jagiya.”

The older lifted his head and his eyes shined with unshed tears. “Do you know what you do to me?” he asked, lips quivering. “You make me feel things I never thought I’d ever feel. You make me want to smash my head against the wall because of your greasiness. I can’t handle how happy you make me feel.”

Sunggyu began to sniffle. “Remember when I told you that after meeting you, I was okay with dying because I met you?”

Woohyun remembered the exact words: _“I think I’m okay with dying now that I met you.”_

“I don’t think I’m okay with dying anymore,” Sunggyu continued. “I want to be with you for as long as I can. Is that okay?”

Woohyun could only feel his heart bursting with happiness and… love.

There was no denying it anymore. He loved Sunggyu. That much he was sure of now. Somewhere along the way, he fell hopelessly in love with this adorable, stubborn, but often loving hamster. He wanted to make Sunggyu happy because he does the same for Woohyun.

He scooted closer and placed his hands on either side of Sunggyu’s cheeks, brushing away the small tears with his thumbs.

“Yah, don’t cry,” he teased with a grin. “You’re supposed to be happy.”

Sunggyu sniffled again. “So… is it okay if I become selfish and ask you to stay with me for a while?”

Woohyun leaned in and brushed his nose against the older’s, affectionately. “I’ll stay for as long as you want me. And I want to be selfish too and ask you to stay with me. I…” Woohyun’s voice cracked. “I don’t want to lose you… I…”

 _I love you_ was what he wanted to say. He wanted to scream it to the world. That he, Nam Woohyun, loved Kim Sunggyu with all his mind, body, and soul.

“Woohyun-ah,” Sunggyu mumbled, bringing his face closer. “I really, really, really like you.”

“That’s a lot of ‘reallys’.”

“And they’re all true.”

Sunggyu leaned in to capture his lips in a kiss that made something inside Woohyun explode in warmth and pure joy. He returned the kiss, eagerly, feeling how soft the other’s lips were, loving how it fits with his own like a puzzle piece… perfect.

Moments like these… he never wanted them to end.

Unfortunately, there was an end to everything.

“Sunggyu, Woohyun, if you two are ready, we brought the cake out,” Sunghee called from the doorway, interrupting their moment.

Sunggyu immediately pulled away, his face beet red as he turned his head to answer his sister. “We’ll be right there.”

Woohyun pouted at the loss and puckered his lips again, asking for another kiss. Sunggyu only laughed and pecked his nose before standing up and holding his hand out to him.

“Come on, lover boy. Let’s get cake.”

Woohyun took the hand and allowed the other to lead the way. He would always follow Sunggyu if it meant being with him more.

And when it was time for him to leave that afternoon, Sunggyu was clingier than ever. His arms were wrapped around the younger’s waist as he pressed small kisses to Woohyun’s lips over and over again that Woohyun had to laugh in glee. He had never seen his older boyfriend act like this before. He liked it. 

 “Be careful or I may never leave,” he teased in between the cute pecks, his fingers drumming a rhythm against the older’s hipbone.

Sunggyu continued to press his lips to his... once… twice… a third time. The taxi was waiting outside, but it appeared that the older had no intention of letting him go.

“Gyu, I have to go,” he mumbled against the thin lips.

The older pouted and sighed. “Sorry I held you up,” he said, before loosening his hold on Woohyun’s waist.

“I have the week off until New Year’s Eve, so I’ll come over again, okay?” Woohyun promised. “Just spend some time with your parents for now. I know you missed them.”

Sunggyu nodded and finally let go of him. He looked so sad and forlorn that Woohyun had to keep himself from tackling the younger in another hug that would surely last another hour, leaving the taxi driver outside waiting forever.

So, instead, he pointed to his lips. “One more for the road?”

Sunggyu beamed happily, his eyes turning into adorable little crescents, before showering Woohyun’s lips in kisses again. It was times like these that the idol wondered if the same man who glared at his greasy antics was the same man who loved spoiling him with kisses.

Either way, Woohyun was one lucky man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Woohyun finally met the parents! Do you think they liked him?
> 
> Poongnyeon Jegwa Bakery is a real place in Jeonju that I looked up. Apparently, they're really infamous for their Choco Pies!
> 
> Also, just thought I'd warn you guys, there will be about another chapter full of fluff before the angst officially starts. Be prepared!


	9. Chapter 9

“They like you.”

Woohyun paused from his doodling on the brown leather notebook as he wrapped his mind around his boyfriend's declaratio.

“Come again?” he said into the phone.

On the other line, Sunggyu chuckled in amusement. “My parents like you.”

Woohyun sat up in surprise and giddiness, but he was still skeptical. “Really? Even your Appa?”

“Mmmhmm… He said something about how he can respect a man who is willing to go through hell to defend my honor or something like that. Are you ever going to tell me what you two talked about while I wasn’t there? Minkyu-hyung wouldn’t tell me either.”

Should he tell Sunggyu? Was it even wise?

But, somehow, something in Woohyun felt that the incident should remain a secret between him and Mr. Kim (and Minkyu). It had been a test, it had to be! And besides, it was understandable for Mr. Kim to be worried about Sunggyu, and Woohyun couldn’t blame him. 

Before he left Sunggyu’s house yesterday (and before their little kissing session by the front door), Mrs. Kim had enveloped him in her arms and thanked him for making her son happy. And Mr. Kim had actually clasped his hand without squeezing it to death, accompanied by a firm nod.

“Hyun? Are you still there?”

Sunggyu’s voice broke through Woohyun’s thoughts and he nodded, before realizing Sunggyu couldn’t see him.

“Yes, I’m here. And no, that’s your Appa’s and my little secret.” He could hear Sunggyu scoff, which made him chuckle. “All you have to know is that… I told him exactly how I feel about you… that I’m not giving up on you, no matter what.”

There was a short pause, and Woohyun could only hear his boyfriend’s breathing. And then…

“I like you a lot,” Sunggyu stated.

A smile tugged at his lips. “I like you a lot too,” he replied.

More than like him a lot. Woohyun loved him so much. But, no, he didn’t want to say those 3 important words through the phone. He would find the right timing. After Woohyun’s impulsiveness when he asked him out and then confessed his feelings, Sunggyu deserved a romantic moment.

They chatted for another half hour, Sunggyu animatedly talking about the things he did with his parents that day and how sad he was that they would be going back to Jeonju tomorrow. Woohyun promised to come over and see him the day after.

They said good-bye and hung up just as Sungyeol walked into the living room.

“Ohhh, was that the boyfriend?” the choding asked, settling himself on the sofa next to the vocal.

It was just the two of them in the dorm together that day. Hoya and Dongwoo both went home and were coming back the day before New Year’s Eve, Myungsoo went somewhere to practice his photography, and Sungjong went out with friends.

“Yeah, he spent the day with his parents. He said they liked me.”

“See? You should listen to us more often!”

“I don’t think it was you guys that got them to like me, but I’m feeling generous, so take the credit.”

Sungyeol flashed him a long look, as if he was examining him and trying to read his mind. “You know…” he said, slowly as he tilted his head to the side. “Dongwoo-hyung was right… You’re… brighter, lately...  happier. And nicer too.”

Woohyun glared. “Yah! What do you mean I’m nicer now? Are you saying I was an ass before?!”

“Pretty much.” He ducked when the vocal threw a cushion at him. “I’m just saying! You’re different these days. You smile more, and not that cheesy smile you send to the Inspirits. Like, actually smiling. It’s all over the fan cafe, the fans like it.” Sungyeol grinned. “I guess this boyfriend of yours is a really good influence, huh?”

At the mention of Sunggyu, Woohyun could not help but smile. It really wasn’t that difficult to want to smile when thinking of Sunggyu. He could see, in his mind’s eye, the older’s cute pout, his tiny eyes, and the way he would say Woohyun’s name with affection.

“There, you’re doing it again!” Sungyeol pointed at his face. “You’re smiling! And at random times too! It’s kinda creepy now.”

“Can’t help it when I have such a good-looking and sweet boyfriend,” Woohyun retorted, smugly.

“Yeah, yeah, we _know_.” Sungyeol rolled his eyes. “Sheesh, you should just introduce him to your parents and get married already.”

At the mention of his parents, Woohyun visibly stiffened as he felt his body go cold. The stance didn’t go unnoticed by the tall idol. His brows furrowed as he watched Woohyun’s discomfort.

“What? Do you not want to introduce him or something?” he asked, curiously.

Woohyun cleared his throat. “I-It’s not that…”

“Then what?”

The vocal bit his lip, a nervous habit he had picked up from one of the members, probably Sungjong.

“Wait… Don’t tell me…” Sungyeol’s owl-like eyes widened in realization. “You didn’t tell your parents that you were… gay? Or at least that you’re dating a guy?”

Woohyun cleared his throat again. “I didn’t exactly have the time...”

Sungyeol continued to stare at him and sighed. “Are you scared?” he asked, softly.

Woohyun swallowed. “Yes… I’m scared. Afraid. Terrified. I can’t help but wonder… Would they think I was confused? Going through a phase? Disgusting? Maybe it wouldn’t matter that I became an idol, I’d be a failure of a son.”

“You’re not a failure! You’re just loving someone… unconventionally.”

The vocal smiled in appreciation at his friend’s attempt to comfort him. “It’s going to be difficult explaining that the son they thought was ‘normal’ is… different.” He sighed, leaning his head back against the couch. “I really think they’ll like Sunggyu. They’d be pleased to know that he was second in his whole high school class. That he was class representative many times. That he’s… someone they always wished I could have been. Someone studious and clever… grounded. I always had my head up in the clouds. And I hated school.”

For a minute or so, the two idols simply sat in silence, contemplating. For Woohyun, telling his parents was something he was hoping he could avoid for a while. Whereas Sunggyu’s parents knew about his preferences since high school and had come to terms with it, Woohyun had always stuck to the status quo and brought girls home to meet his parents. He had never once considered bringing a boy, who wasn’t just a friend. He didn’t even realize he swung that way until he met someone who stirred his heart and changed his mind: Sunggyu.

“Woohyun, you like Sunggyu-shii, right?” Sungyeol suddenly spoke up.

The vocal’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Of course, I like him! I won’t be dating and risking my career if I didn’t! I…” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I… love him… I love him a lot. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. But, I know… I know that I love him.”

Sungyeol nodded. “Then it shouldn’t matter what your parents think,” the choding stated, looking serious for once. “You’re not committing a sin or a crime, you’re just loving someone. As singers, we always sing about the beauty of love and how much it’s worth fighting for. Shouldn’t we take the message of our own songs and follow our hearts?”

The vocal bit his lip in worry. “What if… they don’t accept me? Me and Sunggyu?”

The choding thought about his answer for a second before replying, “Then you’re going to have to convince them. Convince them that what you and Sunggyu have is the real deal. And they love you, Woohyun. It may be difficult for them to accept at first. But, if they love you, truly love you, they will accept whatever makes you happy.”

Woohyun couldn’t help but stare in awe at Sungyeol, their normally childish and sometimes absent-minded visual spoke some rare wise words. “Wow, when did you get so wise?” he teased with a grin.

The other idol turned red as his face contorted into a displeased frown. “Yah! Don’t forget, I was recruited because of my smart image!”

“And the CEO later realized that it was all a lie!”

“Yah! I’m going to hit you!” Sungyeol shook his fist, threateningly.

Woohyun could only laugh, wiping the tears from his eyes. Sungyeol huffed and got up from the couch and headed for his room.

“Hey, Yeol?”

“What, you ass?!”

“Thanks.”

There was a pause. Then… “No problem.”

Woohyun was left alone in the living room. He fiddled with his phone for a good ten minutes, trying to come up with the best solution. But, in the end, he knew there was no other way but to face this head on. The idol stared at his phone for a long time before finally squaring his shoulders and opening up a text message. Quickly, before he could change his mind and chicken out, he typed:

**Hi Umma. Can I come home tomorrow? There’s something I need to talk to you about.**

And sent.

Woohyun leaned back on the couch again, sighing. There was no turning back now.

 

+++++++++

 

This house was not the house that Boohyun and Woohyun had grown up in. They had moved when he was younger, and all the childhood memories were left in that other home. Yet, he knew that the saying “Home is where the heart is” rings true, especially after the door opened to his mother welcoming him with the brightest smile that she had passed on to him and his brother. He allowed her to envelop him in her arms, savoring the warmth that only a mother could give.

Mrs. Nam wasted no time in preparing cups of tea and they settled themselves at the kitchen table chit-chatting. Woohyun updated her on his work (not that she didn’t already know about it, he was sure she kept up with the fan cafe, but it was always nice telling her himself). She talked about what had been going on at home (not much, really) and his brother (his wife still wasn’t pregnant, and she was getting impatient for grandchildren).

“You’re still coming for New Year’s, right?” she asked him.

Woohyun nodded. “That’s the plan.”

Although Infinite was performing on New Year’s Eve, they were given three days off after, so Woohyun had decided to spend New Year’s Day celebrating with his family since he missed Christmas with them.

“Are you bringing any of your band mates?” his mother continued.

He shook his head. “They all have plans. Myungsoo and Sungjong are going to Sungyeol’s. He invited me too, but I told them I was coming here. And Hoya and Dongwoo were invited to a New Year’s Day special event for young dancers.”

Mrs. Nam clicked her tongue in disapproval. “Even on a holiday, you boys work. You need to rest too.”

“It’s okay, Umma. Those two don’t mind, they like kids, especially Dongwoo. He used to teach so he was actually looking forward to the event.”

“Still…” His mother sounded worried, for she treated all his members like her sons too.

All of their parents were like that. Infinite treated each other like brothers, and therefore, their parents treated the members like their own sons.

Mrs. Nam shook her head in resignation and made a promise to pack extra food for them.

“Maybe you should just bring your girlfriend!” his mother teased, eyes crinkling in amusement.

Woohyun knew it was meant to be a joke, a jab because he had not taken anyone home since he debuted.

But he couldn’t contain the blush that spread all over his face. And it did not go unnoticed by his mother. She immediately picked up on his red cheeks, his refusal to meet her eyes, and his sudden interest in his mug of tea.

“Omo, Woohyunnie, do you have a girlfriend?!” she exclaimed, delighted.

Woohyun’s heart was now beating painfully hard against his chest, and unlike when he was with Sunggyu, this was nerve-wracking and actually uncomfortable.

“N-No,” he answered, truthfully.

“Now, now, Woohyunnie, you know you shouldn’t lie to your mother.” Mrs. Nam looked ecstatic now. “Who is she? An idol? Actress? Please don’t tell me you’re dating a fan. I know you love them, but they can be a bit crazy-.”

“Umma,” Woohyun interrupted in a timid voice. “Do I make you proud?”

Mrs. Nam’s eyes widened. “Of course! I’m very proud of you!”

“What about… Appa?”

His mother was supportive from the beginning, but his father had been reluctant when Woohyun announced his dream of becoming a singer. He had come to terms with it just recently and Woohyun… Woohyun didn’t want to disappoint him again.

Mrs. Nam smiled at him, kindly reaching out to pat his cheek. “You know how proud he is of you. You’ve accomplished so much. And you’ve grown into a fine young man.”

Woohyun swallowed the lump in his throat. “I’m afraid that he’ll stop being proud.”

His mother tilted her head to the side. “Now, why would you think that?”

He could brush it off as nothing. In fact, Woohyun wanted nothing more than to just run away, keep his secret a secret for… how long could he keep it a secret?

His memory flashed back to just a few days ago, spending time with Sunggyu and his family, them accepting Woohyun with no questions asked, their love for Sunggyu overflowing. He wanted that more than anything.

How long could he keep Sunggyu a secret?

And the thing was, he didn’t. He didn’t want to keep him a secret, not to his family, not to his loving mother, who had always supported his dream from day one. Surely, she would support his love too.

“Woohyun?”

He must have stayed silent for so long, as his mother was now looking at him in worry.

“Umma.” His voice cracked as he called out to his mother like a child again. “Umma, I don’t want you to hate me.”

His mother looked alarmed now. “Woohyunnie! What are you talking about? I could never hate you, baby!”

And Woohyun… Emotional Woohyun… felt tears brimming on the corner of his eyes, but he willed them away, choosing to be strong. He had to be. He felt the chain of the lock pendant around his neck and the thought of its matching key gave him strength.

“Umma…” he started, before taking a deep breath. “I don’t have a girlfriend… I have a…”

He swallowed.

“What is it? Woohyun?”

He blurted it out before he lost his nerve. “I have a boyfriend.”

Silence overpowered the kitchen that you could hear a pin drop. The warm atmosphere from before seemed to dissipate, letting in the cold winter chill of the outdoors. Mrs. Nam was looking at her son with something akin to confusion.

Woohyun knew he looked quite pitiful at the moment and he didn’t know whether he should speak or stay silent.

“U-Umma…” he started.

His mother chuckled and ruffled his hair, playfully. “Fine, if you really don’t want to bring your girlfriend yet, you don’t have to.”

Woohyun’s heart dropped to his stomach. He suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe. His chest was tightening and there was a sting in his eyes.

His mother’s playful smile disappeared at his expression. She appeared to examine him, her eyes so similar to his own running all over him, looking for a hint of a joke.

“W-Woohyun?” Her voice shook. “W-Woohyun, what do you mean-.”

“His name is Kim Sunggyu,” he bravely revealed. “I met him a few months ago. And… we’ve been dating for a little over a month now.”

“Kim Sunggyu… Kim Sunggyu… why is that name so familiar?” his mother muttered to herself.

Woohyun swallowed the lump in his throat. “He was in that one show with me a few months back… He’s my fan. But, he’s more than to me now, Umma. I… I really like him… No… I love him… a lot… And I-.”

“But, Woohyun, you’re not gay… right?”

He couldn’t answer, but speaking about Sunggyu gave him a burst of courage and he was able to look up and meet his mother’s eyes… her confused and somewhat fearful eyes.

“Woohyun?” she implored. “You’re not… right?”

Instead of answering her question, he responded with, “Do you hate me, Umma?”

Mrs. Nam looked taken aback. The hand on his cheek fell, hanging limply on her side as she stared with wide eyes at her son.

“W-Woohyun… I… But… How… When…”

He let out a small chuckle that lacked humor. “I don’t know either. I didn’t even know I was like this until… until I met Sunggyu.”

His mother was silent, but Woohyun could see the unshed tears shining in her eyes. He couldn’t read her eyes, and he feared that he was seeing disappointment after all.

“I really think you’ll like him, Umma,” he continued. “He’s smart and clever and really polite. He’s an amazing singer too, really talented. And he’s nice and funny and he gets annoyed by me really easily, but I know he cares so much about me. He’s always reminding me to eat and sleep well, and when I lie about it, he gets angry because he worries about me. And he’s really handsome too, but he gets really embarrassed when I tell him.”

A smile was now gracing his lips as he thought about his older boyfriend. But, his mother continued to remain silent with a thunderstruck look on her face.

“I… I’m sorry for suddenly springing this on you,” Woohyun stated. “But, I just met his parents. I spent Christmas with them. And… I want that for him too. I want you to meet him.”

At that, his mother finally reacted with a gasp. “But… Woohyunnie… This is…”

“It’s not wrong, Umma.”

“But it’s different! You’re an idol, Woohyun! Think of what this could do to your career!”

“It doesn’t change the fact that I want to be with Sunggyu, Umma.”

“I…” His mother looked lost now and he really couldn’t blame her. “Your father… what would your father say?”

Woohyun swallowed the new lump in his throat at the mention of his father. “It doesn’t change anything. I’m not asking for you to accept me as I am immediately. But… I just want the chance to properly introduce Sunggyu to you.”

Mrs. Nam’s brows furrowed. “I… I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” she said.

It was like a bucket of cold water poured on Woohyun. He knew it was a bad idea. He shouldn’t have tried to push it. He shouldn’t have hoped that he would be understood.

Resigned, he abruptly stood up, surprising his mother.

“I’m sorry,” he said, bowing 90 degrees to her. “I’m sorry for being a disappointment, Eomeoni.”

He lifted his body to meet his mother’s startled eyes. “But I won’t apologize for loving Sunggyu.”

He stepped forward and pressed a loving kiss to her forehead. “I’ll see myself out,” he said, before bowing for a few seconds and then taking his leave.

He hoped that his mother would call him back. He hoped that she would chase after him.

But, as he reached the end of the block of his neighborhood and he didn’t hear his name, he sighed in resignation. With a somewhat heavy heart, he headed for the main road to hail a taxi back to the dorms.

 

+++++++

 

His mind was blank and foggy at the same time.

All he could feel were the warm breaths against his nose, soft lips perfectly fitting over his, and the hands… Hands were wandering everywhere, from the back of his neck down to his chest, over his arms and then back up to his face. He couldn’t hear anything else except for the heavy breathing, the smacking of wet kisses, and the soft moans. The guitar riffs and somber tunes of Nell sounded soft and distant to his ears.

His own hands were wandering, caressing soft cheeks down to a slim neck, and over a firm chest. He was releasing soft moans of his own against the sweet lips on his.

This was truly heaven. He never wanted it to end.

Too soon for his liking, the lips pulled away from him. Woohyun pouted, but was secretly pleased at Sunggyu’s flushed face and swollen lips as he breathed, heavily.

“We should stop,” the older panted.

Woohyun only pulled him closer with a saucy smirk. “Why?”

He could feel Sunggyu practically melt in his arms. “N-Noona will be home soon. And you’re not allowed in my room anymore.”

Woohyun chuckled in amusement. “Oh, really? But, who pulled me into his room and made out with me on his bed for the last half hour, hmm?” he teased, running his hands over the older’s sweatpants-covered thighs straddling his lap.

Sunggyu turned crimson and Woohyun couldn’t help but laugh as he leaned back against the bed’s headboard.

“You’re too cute, you know that?” he continued to tease, winking flirtatiously at the older. “Besides, jagiya, you’re an adult. You’re allowed to do stuff like this.”

“Did you forget that I live with my sister and this her house?” Sunggyu huffed and tried to get out of his hold.

“Nooooo,” Woohyun whined, tightening his hold around his waist. “Five more minutes?” He stuck his lips out into a pout, flashing his sad puppy eyes. “Please?”

Sighing in resignation, Sunggyu scooted closer and laid his head on top of Woohyun’s shoulder, fingers playing with the lock pendant hangng from the younger's neck. Woohyun’s own fingers were stroking his beanie-covered head. Although Sunggyu’s hair was growing now, he still felt conscious about it, even though Woohyun assured him that the fuzzy hair made him look manly.

“Sunggyu?”

“Hmm?”

Woohyun bit his lip before asking, “Are you happy? With me?”

Sunggyu lifted his head from his shoulder to look him in the eye. “Of course. What kind of silly question is that?”

“Even though I’m… lacking?”

The older furrowed his eyebrows in suspicion. His eyes ran over Woohyun’s face, examining him. “Something’s bothering you. Tell me.”

Woohyun hummed, playing with the hem of Sunggyu’s shirt. They haven’t gone beyond kissing and making out just yet, and neither of them were in any hurry. Besides, with Sunggyu’s condition, they would rather not risk anything. Woohyun was satisfied with the fact that Sunggyu agreed to date him, and he could kiss and hug the older as much as he wanted.

“Woohyun, what’s wrong?” Sunggyu prodded.

It was no use hiding anything from the older. He would just keep asking and not getting any answers would make him worried, which would then stress him out, and stress wasn’t good for someone with his condition.

He continued playing with the fabric of the older’s shirt as he answered, “I… told my mom about me… and about us.”

Sunggyu’s eyes widened. “You mean you…”

Woohyun nodded. “Yeah… I came out to her.”

The older was now watching him with concern. “You could have told me you were going to. I could have been there with you.” He sighed. “How did she take it?”

Woohyun stayed silent, refusing to meet his eyes.

That was answer enough for Sunggyu. He leaned in and kissed the younger’s forehead, tenderly. “I’m sorry.”

Woohyun chuckled, humorlessly. “It doesn’t matter. What matters now is that we’re together.” He smiled at the older. And before he could stop himself, he blurted out, “I love you.”

Sunggyu’s eyes widened as his entire face turned red. He could only stare at the younger in shock, and Woohyun wondered if he had moved too soon again, too fast. He had intended to wait, to tell Sunggyu during a romantic moment, not like this, not after telling him about coming out to his mother and possibly getting rejected.

“I… I…” The older trembled in his arms, so Woohyun began to rub his back soothingly.

“You don’t have to say it back right now, hyung,” he reassured the older. “I just needed to say it. I want you to know that whatever happens, I’m happy with you.” He leaned in to peck his nose. “Okay?”

Sunggyu nodded. “Okay.”

“I’m… sorry.”

The older blinked, confused. “For what?”

“That I can’t give you much.” He looked down at the space between then. “That I can’t even take you out in public or hold your hand or kiss you or show you off to people. I almost didn’t even tell my family about you, because I was afraid. And what’s more is that… I can’t even help you with your sickness. I want to make it disappear forever. But I can’t. I want to do so much for you, but I can’t…”

These were the things that had been weighing heavily on Woohyun’s mind lately, these insecurities. He was suddenly feeling the pressure, not from Sunggyu, the older never asked him for much. The pressure was from himself.

Woohyun had never been in love like this before, and he wanted to do so much, he wanted to give Sunggyu everything that he deserved and more. But, he couldn’t. No matter how much he wanted to scream to the world about his relationship to Sunggyu, he couldn’t. No matter how much he wanted to get rid of Sunggyu’s cancer, he couldn’t.

What kind of a boyfriend was he? Sunggyu deserved better.

He felt fingers underneath his chin and his head was lifted to meet the older’s loving eyes.

“You don’t have to do much,” Sunggyu said. “I’m fine. I’m happy that I have the chance to be with you. It may not be a normal relationship, but it’s enough.”

“But, I don’t want this to be just enough,” Woohyun insisted. “I want this to be more. So much more. You deserve better.”

“You’re stubborn, you know that?” Sunggyu narrowed his eyes at him, and under normal circumstances, it would have made Woohyun laugh. “I told you, I’m fine. This is enough. And if you don’t stop with this crap, I’m really leaving.”

The blood drained from Woohyun’s face. “L-Leaving?”

Sunggyu immediately backtracked. “I meant this room, idiot! Noona will be home soon.”

“But, hyung-.”

“Aish!” Sunggyu disentangled himself from Woohyun’s hold and left the room.

It took Woohyun a few seconds to realize what was happening and went after him. He found the older in the living room, sitting at the piano and glaring at the keys.

Taking a deep breath, Woohyun settled in beside him. The older didn’t react, so he placed his fingers on the piano keys and began to play the first notes to “Voice Of My Heart”, Sunggyu’s favorite Infinite ballad.

“The words I wanted to say in front of you, the words I couldn’t say, without the chance to say them, you left me alone in this place,” he sang.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Sunggyu’s lips quirk. When he got to the chorus, the older joined in with him, harmonizing with him and creating one of the most beautiful sounds.

“I call out without sound, I call out remembering you, I try forgetting you, knowing you don’t share my feelings…”

When they finished the chorus, Woohyun stopped and turned to him. “I’m sorry if I upset you,” he said, lips pursed.

Sunggyu remained quiet for a bit before releasing a sigh of resignation. “I guess I can understand why you worry. I… I have worries too. I can’t give you a normal relationship. Why you picked a sick guy to date is still beyond me, Nam Woohyun.”

“Because I love him so much,” the idol replied, scooting closer to wrap an arm around the other. Sunggyu laid his head on his shoulder. “And like Sungyeol said, normal’s overrated anyway.”

This time, the older actually laughed, which put a smile back on Woohyun’s face. Hearing that laugh always reminded him why he was there, why he chose to stay with Sunggyu despite everyone’s doubts and judgments.

“Someday, hyung, when Infinite finally retires and I’ve made a good name for myself in the industry, I’ll be able to come out too. Someday, we’ll be able to go out there and hold hands and I can kiss you in public. Then, I’ll tell all the girls and guys not to look at you because you’re mine.”

He felt the older stiffen in his hold. Sunggyu then lifted his head from his shoulder to look him in the eye.

“You… you mean that?” he asked, his face shocked yet thrilled. “Wait… how do you even know we’ll last that long, hmm?”

Woohyun only chuckled. “I just know because I’m never going to leave you!” He nudged his nose with the older’s, affectionately. “And by that time, maybe South Korea will allow us to marry! But, if not, we’ll go overseas. We can go to America! And maybe honeymoon in Europe and-.”

“Yah! I can’t believe you thought that far ahead already!” Sunggyu began to laugh in delight.

“I even picked out names for babies we’ll adopt! How does Sunwoo and Minah sound to you?”

“Yah!” The older slapped his arm, but he was still laughing.

And he looked so beautiful. Woohyun’s breath hitched and he couldn’t resist. He leaned in and kissed him, silencing the musical laughter and replacing it with a soft sigh of contentment. The kiss was innocent, completely different from their heated kisses from earlier, but no less sweet and still sent fire racing down to Woohyun’s stomach. He never wanted to stop kissing Sunggyu. He never wanted to stop this feeling of love and happiness bubbling inside him whenever he was near the older.

When they broke apart for air, the older was now flushed and Woohyun knew that he was too, judging from the heat in his cheeks.

“You… you really want… a future with me?” Sunggyu asked, voice unsure and hesitant.

Woohyun nodded. “I do… do you?”

The older’s lip trembled as he nodded. “Y-Yes… so much… But… what if-.”

“Shhh…” Woohyun placed his hands on either side of the other’s chubby cheeks. They were warm under his touch. “Let’s not think about the ‘but’s’ and the ‘what if’s’ for now, okay?”

He flashed him a reassuring smile, and the older relaxed and managed to smile back.

“I love you,” he confessed again, pressing his lips to Sunggyu’s forehead.

“I know…” the older replied.

The sound of the gate opening and closing outside stirred them from their moment and Sunggyu pulled away.

“I think noona’s home,” he said, getting up to open the door for his sister.

“Hyung?”

“Hmmm?” he turned to look at the younger, gazing at him with fondness.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Just… thank you.”

Sunggyu chuckled and winked at him. “You’re so sappy.”

He continued towards the door and Woohyun knew, in his heart, that no matter what happened in the future, he would be ready to face it because he had someone like Kim Sunggyu by his side.

 

+++++++

 

It was the day before New Year’s Eve, during practice for their performance the next night that Woohyun got the text.

They were taking a break and the members were all strewn about the practice room, breathing deeply as they tried to soothe their aching muscles. Woohyun dropped next to his bag to grab his phone. As usual, there was a text from Sunggyu, telling him to work hard but not strain himself during practice. There was also a picture of a bowl of strawberries, his companion for the day since Woohyun couldn’t be there.

He smiled and texted back a greasy response and a selca of his sweaty face. As soon as he sent the message, another one came in... from his mother.

**Woohyun-ah, you’re still coming for New Year’s lunch, right? Bring your boyfriend. I spoke to your Appa and hyung already. We’re expecting you both. Love, Umma**

His heart wouldn’t stop beating painfully against his chest as he typed back a response:  **We’ll be there. Thank you, Umma. I love you.**

 

+++++++

 

The day was chilly and rather windy, but the sun was shining brightly to make up for the cold atmosphere. The rental car stopped and parked right outside the simple, suburban home, as if the space was saved just for it.

Woohyun killed the engine and moved to take off his seatbelt. He turned to his boyfriend on the passenger seat, who made no indication of moving. His long slender fingers were clutching the seatbelt strapped across his body, his knuckles white from gripping it too tightly.

“Hyung?”

Sunggyu swallowed, audibly. “Is… Is this how you felt when you met my parents?”

“How do you feel?”

“Like there are a million knots forming in my stomach.”

Woohyun chuckled. “That’s exactly it.” He picked up Sunggyu’s hamster mask from the older’s lap and put it on him. “Don’t worry. It will be okay. I’ll be right next to you the whole time.”

His eyes still looked fearful, but Sunggyu nodded.

Holding the large bottle of soju in one hand and his boyfriend’s hand in the other, Woohyun led them up to the front door and rang the doorbell. Sunggyu’s hand shook in his, so he caressed the top with his thumb to soothe him.

The door opened and they were greeted by his mother. She took one look at Woohyun and engulfed him in a tight hug.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” she said to him, hugging him as if her life depended on it. When she let go, she finally allowed her gaze to fall on the nervous-looking man beside her son, holding his hand. “Kim Sunggyu-shii?”

Sunggyu released Woohyun’s hands, removed his mask, and bowed 90 degrees to Mrs. Nam and greeted her a Happy New Year and thanked her for the invitation.

“Omo, you’re so polite,” she commented, smiling kindly. “Woohyunnie was right.”

The older blushed as he straightened his body again, and to his surprise, Mrs. Nam stepped forward and gave him a short but firm hug. After Woohyun handed her the bottle of soju, the older lady led the two into the house, announcing their arrival in a loud voice.

Seated in the living room watching a soccer game on the T.V. were Mr. Nam and his older brother, Boohyun. They looked up as the three of them entered and Sunggyu froze beside Woohyun. The two men watched them with unreadable expressions as they stood from their places.

Clearing his throat, Woohyun stepped forward and bowed in greeting to his father and brother.

“Good to see you home, son,” his father said, pulling the younger into his arms.

Mr. Nam was rarely affectionate, and Woohyun always savored the rare hugs and acts of skinship. When his father let him go, his brother took over, pulling Woohyun into a headlock.

“Yah! Hyung, let go! You’re embarrassing me!”

“That’s the point, dongsaeng!” Boohyun laughed as his younger brother struggled. “I’m supposed to embarrass you in front of your boyfriend!”

At the word “boyfriend”, Woohyun lost his balance and fell on the floor, bringing his brother down with him.

“Woohyun!” Sunggyu ran forward and crouched down in front of the two brothers. “Are you okay?”

Boohyun looked up and stared into Sunggyu’s face. He tilted his head to the side in contemplation before smiling.

“Omo, you’re cute,” he stated.

Woohyun’s eyes widened while Sunggyu blushed. “Yah, hyung! That’s my boyfriend! You have a wife!”

“It’s just an observation!”

“Observe your wife!”

“How can you date this punk, Sunggyu-shii? He’s too jealous!”

“I’m not jealous!”

“Ahem.”

Their bickering was interrupted by Mr. Nam, who was still standing and now watching their little exchange with unreadable eyes. Mrs. Nam was right next to him, hand over her mouth to cover her laughter.

Reddening in embarrassment, the three men on the floor got up.

“Right. Woohyun, aren’t you going to introduce your… guest?”

The idol flinched at his father’s condescending tone and from the corner of his eye, he could see Sunggyu’s fingers fidgeting in nervousness. He reached out and took one of the older’s hands in his and entwined their fingers.

With a confident smile, he stated, “This is my boyfriend, Kim Sunggyu. Jagiya, this is my Appa. And my weird older brother, Boohyun.”

“Yah, dongsaeng! Show your hyung some respect!”

Woohyun ignored him and watched instead how Sunggyu stepped forward and bowed 90 degrees to his father and another 90 degrees to Boohyun.

“T-Thank you for inviting me into your home.”

Mr. Nam cleared his throat. “Well, Sunggyu-shii, our Woohyunnie asked to introduce you to us. How can we refuse our son? It’s the first time he’s brought anyone home in a long time and we didn’t expect… Well…”

“Yeobo, be nice.” Mrs. Nam nudged her husband with an elbow before she flashed a smile at the couple. “Lunch is almost ready. My daughter-in-law is just finishing up in the kitchen. Woohyun, will you come and help?”

Woohyun hesitated and he looked at Sunggyu. The older nodded at him with a reassuring smile, but he could see the fear in his eyes. As much as he loved and trusted his father and wanted him to get to know his boyfriend better, he also didn’t want to leave Sunggyu with him. He hoped that his mother had filled in his father and brother about Sunggyu’s condition because he really couldn’t afford for the older to stress out at that moment. It would be bad for his health, and he was recovering so well too.

Thankfully, his brother must have noticed the conflicted look on his face since he stepped forward and clasped a hand on Woohyun’s shoulder.

“I’ll be right here to keep your boyfriend company, Hyunnie, don’t worry,” he reassured.

Woohyun flashed him a smile in gratitude before taking Sunggyu’s hand again and squeezing it. “I’ll be back soon,” he said to him before following his mother to the kitchen.

He really wanted to kiss the older to calm him down, but this wasn’t the time or place for it. It might be a bit too much for his parents and his brother to see that, so for today, he would keep his affections down to a minimum. He wanted to make Sunggyu feel as comfortable as possible, and that meant making sure not to make his parents uncomfortable as well.

His sister-in-law Jiyeon was finishing up the Japchae when he entered the kitchen with his mother.

“Hi noona.”

“Woohyunnie!” She turned the stove off and wiped her hands on her apron before stepping forward to envelop him in a hug. “It’s so good to see you. My, have you lost weight? Is your company not feeding you?!”

Woohyun only laughed and shook his head. “We just don’t have time to cook decent meals these days.”

“Which is why we made plenty so you can take some back to the kids too,” his mother said, as she checked the rice.

“Oh, that’s right! Your boyfriend is here! Umma, do you mind if I go meet him?” Jiyeon sounded incredibly excited.

“Yes, yes, go on and rescue the poor boy. Your father-in-law might be torturing him already.”

At the consent given, Jiyeon flitted out of the kitchen. Woohyun could hear her greeting Sunggyu.

“Aish, your father, he’s acting like you’re a girl who brought a boy home for the first time!” his mother said in exasperation as she transferred the Japchae from the pan to a giant plate. “Speaking of, are any of these okay for Sunggyu to eat? He must have a strict diet right? I read up on it. Aish, this kid, he didn’t even tell his Umma if his boyfriend has any allergies! Do you want to embarrass me?”

As his mother rambled on about what she cooked and what she hoped Sunggyu would like, the anxiety he had been feeling since the day he got her text melted away. It appeared that his mother was coming around and so was his brother. His father on the other hand…

“Can you transfer the Samgyetang into the bowl?” Mrs. Nam said, as she scooped rice into little individual bowls. “Careful with the chicken, it might break-.”

She paused when Woohyun wrapped his arms around her neck and tucked his head into her shoulder.

“Thank you, Umma,” he said to her with as much gratitude as he could muster. “This means a lot to me. Thank you. You’ve made me happy.”

Mrs. Nam was silent for a moment before she chuckled and patted his arm. “I know I didn’t react in the most… supportive way when you first told me. But, you are my son and I love you. I may not understand, and I’ll confess to you, your father and I are still… unsure about it. But, one thing is for certain is that we just want you to be happy. And if Sunggyu-shii makes you happy, who are we stop you? Besides, you’re an adult now. You know what you’re doing.”

“Thank you, Umma.”

“Woohyun… all we ask is that you be careful. Your relationship is… different.”

“I know.”

“And what more is that Sunggyu-shii is… delicate.”

Woohyun chuckled. “He’s stronger than he looks.”

“I’m sure he is, but please don’t forget to protect your heart too, baby. He’s… he’s sick and-.”

“I know.” He sighed into his mother’s shoulder. “But I’m not giving up on him. I won’t leave his side. He needs me to remind him to fight and I’ll be around to make sure that he does.”

“Omo, my son is so grown up.” Mrs. Nam sniffled as she patted his arm again before elbowing him away. “Now, stop dawdling and get the food ready! There are hungry men to serve out there! Remember, Woohyun, the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

“I already have Sunggyu’s heart.”

“And you’ll lose it if you don’t transfer that Samgyetang into the bowl! Now, move it Nam Woohyun!”

 

+++++++

 

Their time with the Nams flew by fairly quickly. Lunch was an amiable affair, his mother, brother, and sister-in-law doing their best to pull Sunggyu into their conversations. The older’s nerves must have calmed down as he chatted quite amicably with Woohyun’s family. Meanwhile, Woohyun would only observe his father, who remained nonchalant throughout the meal. He didn’t speak a word to Sunggyu the entire time, but answered questions when asked by his wife or sons.

By the time dessert rolled around, Woohyun’s mother was in love with Sunggyu. After all, despite his sick appearance, the older was still quite handsome, and he was polite and a natural charmer as well. He made her laugh with clever quips and jokes. He also spoke of his academic achievements in high school humbly and expressed a desire to go to college when he got better.

“I wanted to be a singer, like Woohyun,” he narrated. “But, I guess, life had something else in store for me.”

“Oh dear, I’m so sorry.” Mrs. Nam sent him a sympathetic look from her spot near the head of the table where her husband sat.

“It’s alright. If it wasn’t for this, I never would have met Woohyun.” He smiled at this boyfriend sitting next to him. “I’ll always be thankful for that.”

At the affectionate words, Woohyun blushed, a rare occurrence since he was always in the habit of making other people blush. Then again, Sunggyu wasn’t like most people.

“Awww, that’s so romantic!” Jiyeon cooed. “I hope Woohyun is taking care of you well.”

“Oh, he does. He’s wonderful. Even before he asked me out, he was always there for me. There’s no one I trust more than I trust Woohyun.”

That declaration warmed Woohyun’s heart. So, of course, he decided to lay on the grease. “Hyung, you’re making me blush.”

“Good, now you know how it feels like.”

“You just admitted that I make you blush,” Woohyun teased and just as he predicted, Sunggyu turned red.

“Aish, why are you acting so greasy in front of your parents?”

Instead of replying, he threw a heart at the older. Across from him, Boohyun groaned in annoyance.

“How can you stand dating him, Sunggyu-shii?!” he complained, crinkling his nose. “I would have punched him by now!”

Sunggyu sighed, but his eyes twinkled when directed at Woohyun. “I still don’t know what I saw in him,” he replied.

“My favorite is L!” Jiyeon piped.

“I’m thinking I should switch my favorite to L too,” Sunggyu said, flashing Woohyun a teasing grin.

“Yah! Noona, don’t give him any ideas! I just managed to get him to stop thinking Myungsoo is handsome!”

“Who said I stopped?”

“Hyung!”

 

+++++++

 

It was the middle of the afternoon when Woohyun decided that it was time to leave. His family expressed their sadness that he was leaving so soon, but he promised to come visit again as soon as he could get some time off. Sunggyu, as well, was extended an invitation by his mother, and Boohyun made them promise to stop by his restaurant at some point so Sunggyu could taste his cooking (“There’s a reason why I’m the chef of the family,” he stated proudly, before extending a hand for Sunggyu to shake).

To Woohyun’s relief, his father managed to shake Sunggyu’s hand and thanked him for coming, to which Sunggyu responded with gratitude and a 90-degree bow (“He’s so polite!” Woohyun’s mother had whispered in delight into his ear).

When the two finally settled into the car, the bout of anxiety they felt that morning had dissipated.

“So… what did you think?” Woohyun asked, as he put the car in gear and began to maneuver it out of the tight parking spot.

“I like them, they’re nice,” Sunggyu replied, a faint smile on his lips. “I think your Appa doesn’t like me, though.”

“Really? Why not? Did he say something to you while I was in the kitchen?”

The older shook his head. “No, he didn’t really say anything. That’s what makes me worry.”

Sensing his boyfriend’s mood go down, Woohyun pulled over to the side. Lucky for him, there wasn’t anyone out driving that day, as everyone seemed to be indoors, celebrating the New Year’s.

“Hey.” He reached out to take Sunggyu’s hand. “He’ll come around, don’t worry. We showed him how serious we are about each other, so let’s give him some time, okay?”

He received a nod from the other.

“Besides, Umma likes you. And Boohyun-hyung and Jiyeon-noona too! So, Appa will come around, don’t worry.”

Another nod.

“Smile, hyung. Please?”

Sunggyu turned his head to look at him and gifted him with his request. Woohyun returned it as he lifted the older’s hand to his lips and pressed a small kiss against the knuckles.

“You know… it’s still kind of early. Do you want to go on a date?”

A look of surprise crossed the older’s face. “A date?”

Woohyun nodded. “Yeah. We haven’t gone on one in a while, I’ve been really busy.” He flashed the other an apologetic look. “What do you say? We can watch a movie. There’s a theater around here, and I’m sure there wouldn’t be too many people since it’s New Year’s.”

Sunggyu appeared to contemplate for a few seconds before nodding. “Okay, let’s do it.”

Happy at the decision they made, Woohyun drove them to the theater. True to his prediction, there was nobody there, except for the middle-aged woman at the ticket booth and the teenager working the snack bar.

Sunggyu insisted on buying the tickets, so Woohyun bought the snacks. They chose an American animated film. Sunggyu held his hand and fed him popcorn in between scenes.

After the movie, they bought ice cream and drove to the Han River, where Woohyun parked at a deserted spot. The couple then moved to the backseat and ate their ice cream, talking in between and watching as the sun began to set.

Woohyun felt a sense of contentment washing over him. He never thought that a simple thing such as having lunch with his parents or watching a random animated movie or eating ice cream while watching the sunset could feel so special. For the first time in a while, he felt at peace.

He felt Sunggyu lay his head on his shoulder and he instinctively wrapped his arm around him

“I like this date,” the older stated, eyes on the scene before them. “I wish we get to do this more often.”

Woohyun smiled, sadly. “I’m sorry, I’m always too busy to take you out on a proper date. But, I promise to do my best and do it more.”

Sunggyu lifted his head to look at him. Their faces were so close, noses almost touching. The idol could feel the older’s breath against his skin, could see flecks of the sun’s last rays reflected in those warm, brown orbs.

The older watched him with deep, contemplative eyes, as if he was staring right into Woohyun’s soul. He hoped that his own eyes conveyed off of his heart’s feelings without too many words.

Finally, Sunggyu spoke words that Woohyun had been waiting to hear.

“I love you,” he stated, not breaking eye contact. “I love you so much, Woohyun-ah. I’m sorry it took me a while to respond. But, I love you. I really love you.”

Woohyun could cry right there and then, he could already feel the moisture forming in his eyes.

“Yah.” Sunggyu elbowed his side with an irritated look. “I just told you I love you and you don’t even answer me? Aish, fine, just take me home and -.”

He didn’t get to finish the rest of his sentence as Woohyun swooped in and captured his lips with his. The idol kissed him with everything he got, every passionate bone in his body, and every loving feeling he had in his heart were all put into the kiss.

So, when they parted, Sunggyu was out of breath, and the younger took that time to press his forehead against his and whispered, “I love you too. So much.”

Before the older could respond, Woohyun was kissing him again.

The sun disappeared from the horizon and the stars came out to twinkle. The air got colder as the surroundings got darker, but neither of them noticed. They were trapped in their own little world, where it was just the two of them, where their love was beautiful and could last forever.

 

+++++++

 

“Inspirits, are you having fun?!” Dongwoo yelled into the mic.

The crowd went wild with, “Yes!”

“My girlfriends, do you want more?!” Woohyun added.

More screams and a louder, “Yes!” erupted in the auditorium.

“Then we have more! Music, cue!”

The instrumentals for “Destiny” began and Infinite got into position. Their moves were sharp as knives, every step precise and counted. Their voices blended into a powerful harmony that could shake the building they were in. Their fans cheered and chanted for their six idols.

As he fell into the steps, not missing a single cue of his singing parts, Woohyun’s eyes scanned the right side of the audience. Seated on one of the chairs, wearing a familiar hamster mask and an Infinite beanie with his name on it, Sunggyu was enthusiastically waving his Infinite banner. Their eyes met and Woohyun sent a wink in his direction. The fans went wild at that, but the person the wink was meant for could only blush and wave quickly in return.

Infinite was having a fan meeting and Woohyun finally convinced Sunggyu to go and so there he was, with his sister next to him, secretly supporting his idol boyfriend. Woohyun got them two of the most expensive and closest seats towards the front.

When the event ended and the rest of the fans gradually filed out of the auditorium, Sunggyu and Sunghee stayed in their seats, waiting. When the hall was finally empty, they were approached by one of Infinite’s managers, Hyoan, who led them backstage.

Infinite’s managers found out about Woohyun’s relationship purely by accident. The idol had been on the phone with Sunggyu one night, unaware that Hyoan and Geonam were dropping by to surprise them with dinner. Greasy Woohyun was sweet talking his boyfriend on the phone and when he had hung up and he turned around, his managers were already staring at him with hardened eyes, waiting for an explanation.

Woohyun didn’t confess right away, of course. He lied and said he was talking to his cousin. The managers didn’t buy it. Instead, they observed him in the next couple of days, how much he texted, how much he was on the phone, how much he randomly smiled into thin air while a stylist was working on his hair. They knew their idols well and figured it out: Woohyun was in love.

And naturally, he got “the talk” that all idols get when they were suspected of dating (“You have to be careful”, “The fans mustn’t find out,” Keep a low profile”, etc. etc. etc.). They also wanted to know who he was dating, because if it was another idol, then they would have to coordinate with her managers.

With much encouragement and support from his members, Woohyun confessed it all, that yes, he was dating, no, it wasn’t an idol, and that he was dating a man because yes, he liked men, or in this case, one man, and no, he wasn’t going to break up with him, no matter what the managers said.

Geonam recognized the name, of course, he was there during the filming of the show. And naturally, they tried to talk Woohyun out of it, but if there was anything Woohyun strongly stood by nowadays, it was his relationship with Sunggyu. It was one of the most precious things to him, and he wasn’t going down without a fight. The managers had no choice but to accept in the end.

Which was why now, Hyoan was leading his idol’s boyfriend to meet with the other.

Backstage was chaotic, as stylists and staff ran around, packing up and making sure that nothing was left behind. In the dressing room that he shared with Dongwoo and Hoya, Woohyun hurriedly got dressed into regular clothes. He paused for a second to look in the mirror and wondered if he should remove his make-up. In the end, he decided to leave it on. He looked sexy and he would surely make Sunggyu’s heart flutter.

When he was done, he immediately headed for the third dressing room. He had asked Hyoan to take Sunggyu and Sunghee there to wait for him.

Infinite wanted to finally meet Sunggyu, so they offered to take him to dinner (as the leader, Dongwoo was paying). And if any fans or paparazzi happened to capture them with Sunggyu, they were going to be honest and say that Sunggyu was Woohyun’s number one fan whom he met at an MBC show filming… which was already the truth, anyway.

The area outside the dressing room was almost empty, most of the staff’s belongings and equipment were closer towards the other two dressing rooms that Infinite was using.

Woohyun was about to push the door open when his boyfriend’s conversation with his sister caught his attention. He paused outside, not wishing to interrupt, but he also couldn’t help but eavesdrop a bit.

“Wow, dongsaeng, I never thought I’d actually go to one of these,” Sunghee said, in a teasing tone.

 “Thank you for coming with me, Noona. I would go by myself, but Woohyun said it would be safer if I had someone with me, just in case.”

“He worries about you. He’s a good man, Gyu. I’m glad you’re dating him. I haven’t seen you this happy since… well… I don’t know. You haven’t been very happy much in the last couple of years. But with Woohyun, you’re… brighter.”

“I really like him, Noona. He does makes me happy. He makes me feel normal again.”

“That’s wonderful.”

“I never imagined I’d feel this happy again.”

Woohyun couldn’t help the goofy smile that appeared on his lips as he discreetly wiped the small tears that threatened to spill from his eyes. He took a deep, giant breath and released it with a huff, before pushing the door open.

“Jagiyaaa!” he crooned, skipping forward with his arms wide open.

Sunggyu, who was standing by one of the vanity mirrors, looked alarmed at this sudden display of greasiness and tried to run away, but Woohyun was faster and caught him around the waist.

“Woo-,” Sunggyu began, but Woohyun silenced him with a brief but mind blowing kiss.

“I missed you, jagiya!” he said, pouting before turning to Sunghee and bowing his head to her. “Hi, noona.”

Sunghee waved from her spot on one of the leather couches.

Woohyun turned back to a red-faced Sunggyu, who had his eyes focused on the lock necklace around the idol’s neck. Subconsciously, he raised his own hand to touch the matching key around the older’s neck.

“You have the key to my heart,” he said in a low voice that only they could hear.

Sunggyu rolled his eyes. “You sure you don’t want it back?”

“It’s yours forever.”

The older wrinkled his nose in disgust, but Woohyun could see he was fighting a smile. He leaned in again.

“Woohyun-ah! Is he in there?!”

“Ahhh, I can’t wait to meet Hyung’s boyfriend!”

“I think I saw him earlier! He was in the audience!”

"Oh, he's that guy with the beanie right? He's cute!"

“Hyung?! Are you guys in there?”

The door burst open and in came his band mates. They spotted him immediately and before he knew what was happening, he was shoved aside as the other crowded around his boyfriend and started introducing themselves. Sunggyu looked so overwhelmed at the sudden attention from his favorite idols, so Woohyun tried to interject, but Hoya and Sungyeol blocked his way.

He pouted when Myungsoo introduced himself and Sunggyu said, “Omo, you’re really handsome in person.”

He later found himself sulking on the leather sofa next to an amused Sunghee. They watched as the members asked Sunggyu questions and despite his embarrassment, the older answered them enthusiastically. He was a lot older than all of them, so they were quite excited and were already asking if they could call him ‘hyung.’

“Woohyun-ah,” Sunghee called his attention.

“Yes, Noona?” Woohyun briefly turned his head to look at her out of respect and saw her smiling at him.

“Thank you for making our Sunggyu really happy.”

Woohyun returned her smile, his heart warming at her words. “You’re welcome, Noona. And thank you too.”

“Ehh? For what?”

“For writing to MBC. You’re the reason that we met. I can never thank you enough for that, Sunghee-noona. Because of you, I met someone amazing that I want to love for a long time.”

Sunghee couldn’t seem to find the words in response, so she simply nodded at Woohyun, patting him on the shoulder.

And as Woohyun turned back to watch Sunggyu laughing brightly at something Sungyeol said, he knew that this was it.

This was his paradise. He wanted to stay here forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: That was quite long, huh? A lot happened in this chapter.
> 
> Now, I must warn you. The angst is finally starting in the next chapter. **bows** I'm so sorry.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And thus, the angst begins. **bows** I'm so sorry.

It started off with small, seemingly inconsequential things.

They would be watching a show or a movie, and Sunggyu would just fall asleep on his shoulder. And he would sleep for the longest time until Woohyun would wake him up.

“Sleep is your friend, Woohyun,” he told the younger. “You should know that by now, you’re always up late.”

One time, they were playing piano and Sunggyu had pushed his sleeves up. Woohyun immediately saw the bruises. When he asked about them, the older replied that he probably just banged his arm on something by accident.

“You know how clumsy I am, Hyunnie,” he stated, with a nonchalant smile.

Another time, he cooked his mother’s kimchi jjigae because Sunggyu loved it when he tried it at Woohyun’s house. The older had a few bites and couldn’t finish the rest, claiming that he was still full. Woohyun had pouted in disappointment, thinking that he had followed the recipe wrong so it didn’t taste good, but Sunggyu reassured him that it tasted wonderful. He just wasn’t hungry.

“I’ll eat it well next time, okay?” Sunggyu promised before giving him a few kisses to make it up to him.

They were small, seemingly inconsequential things that he should have paid attention to.

Infinite was in Japan for a 5-day fan meeting. They held events in Tokyo, Osaka, Kyoto, Sapporo, and Nagoya. It was always fun meeting the fans, playing games with them, and performing for them. Japanese Inspirits were always thrilled to see the band and doing fan projects for them. Japan was definitely was one of Infinite’s favorite places to visit and hold events in.

During their last event in Nagoya, while they were waiting to go onstage, Woohyun received a phone call from Sunghee. When he saw her name flashing on his phone, he immediately got a bad feeling. Sunghee never called him, she usually texted if she needed to tell him something.

“Hello, Sunghee-noona?”

“W-Woohyun? A-Are you still in Japan?” Her voice was shaking, which didn’t help the anxiety in the pit of Woohyun’s stomach.

“Yes, we’re heading back to Korea tomorrow. What’s wrong, Noona?”

“It’s…” She released a choking sound and a sob before continuing, “It’s Gyu… He’s in the hospital.”

Woohyun’s legs suddenly felt like jelly that he had to clutch onto the nearby wall. There was a tightening in his chest and he couldn’t breathe.

“Sunggyu? What happened to hyung?!”

His band mates must have heard him as they all looked up from what they were doing and were now watching him. The staff were rushing about, getting things ready and paying him no mind. Their managers were outside, making sure everything was running smoothly.

“A few days ago, he kept feeling dizzy. And yesterday, he woke up with a high fever so we took him to the hospital. He didn’t want me to tell you because he didn’t want you to worry, but… I thought you should k-know…”

And Sunghee broke into a sob.

Woohyun could feel his resolve crumbling as well, as the tightening in his chest got worse. Tears were forming in his eyes and he wiped at them, forgetting about his eyeliner.

“T-Thank you, Noona. I’ll be there tomorrow, I promise.”

After promising to text him the hospital room info and to let Sunggyu know that he would be coming tomorrow, Woohyun hung up. He leaned against the wall and could feel himself sinking to the ground, his legs unable to support him anymore.

Sunggyu… his Sunggyu was in the hospital. It could be nothing. He was recovering so well. The weather had been cold lately, so Sunggyu may have just caught a bug. But, even so, catching a bug with his condition was dangerous.

All these thoughts plagued Woohyun’s thoughts. He tried his best to pay attention during the fan meet and to give his fans all his love and affection, but he found himself in a daze the entire time. He couldn’t count the number of times his band mates had to nudge him out of his stupor so he would concentrate.

When the fan accounts went up and everyone kept talking about Namu’s low energy and sadness during the fan meet, he didn’t care. He just wanted to fly home as soon as possible.

 

+++++++

 

Infinite just landed in Incheon airport a little after noon and because they were V.I.P., they sped through security checks, immigration, and baggage claim.

Woohyun made sure to cover up as they exited the airport and headed for the vans. He, Dongwoo, and Hoya piled into one van, while the maknae line went in the other. As soon as the doors closed and Geonam was driving away from the cameras and fans, he finally ripped the mask off and leaned forward to speak to the manager.

“Hyung, drop me off at the hospital.”

The older man blinked. “What? Why?”

“Gyu’s in the hospital. I need to see him.”

“Woohyun-.”

“Hyung, please,” he begged. “We don’t have any schedules for the rest of the day, and I promise to be back by 8 tonight. Please.”

Geonam appeared to hesitate and the main vocal was about to start begging again when Dongwoo spoke, “I can go with him, hyung. And you can pick us up when Woohyun’s ready.”

“I want to go too!” Hoya piped.

“No, Howon, you go back to the dorm and look after the kids,” the leader said, firmly. “I’ll go with Woohyun.”

The manager sighed in resignation. “Alright, fine. I’ll drop you two off first then. Have your phones with you, cover up, and make sure no one sees you, got that? We can’t have any reporters digging around as to why Infinite members are at the hospital.”

Dongwoo smiled reassuringly at a relieved Woohyun, who sent him a grateful smile in return. He sent a quick text to Sunghee to let her know that he was on the way.

Geonam dropped them off at the hospital parking lot and the two made their way inside as quickly as possible while trying not to draw attention to themselves. They headed for the Cancer Ward, scanning for the right room.

When they found it, Woohyun’s feet were suddenly glued to the floor. He couldn’t move to open the door. He didn’t know what to expect behind that door. Truth be told, he was scared. He was scared of what he was going to find. He tried to summon whatever strength he had left to move his legs, but he couldn’t.

He felt a hand touch his arm and he turned his head to see his leader, looking at him in encouragement.

“He’s waiting, Woohyunnie,” he said, with a bright smile that was very Dongwoo. “I’ll stay out here until you’re done, okay?”

The vocal swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded before pushing the door open. The first person he saw was Sunghee, sitting on the small sofa and staring blankly into thin air. She turned her head when he entered and immediately stood up to hug him.

“Do… do you mind watching him?” she asked. “I… I’ll just get… coffee… or something.”

Woohyun knew that she was probably not going to get coffee. She might, but it was more of an excuse to leave the room. Like Sunggyu, Sunghee was a proud woman and would refuse to cry in front of her brother or anyone.

The idol nodded at her and she took her leave, closing the door behind her. Woohyun now faced the bed, where his older boyfriend was lying, eyes closed in slumber. On the bedside table, the food was untouched.

Sunggyu’s face was sickly pale, dark circles under his eyes, and his pink lips chapped. As usual, he was wearing the black Infinite beanie, but it was now slipping off as he slept. Woohyun adjusted it to firmly fit before taking one of his hands in his and sitting on the chair beside the bed. The skin was ice cold to the touch. He blew on the hand to warm it up.

The gesture stirred Sunggyu and he softly groaned as he opened his eyes. He turned his head to the side and blinked a few times at Woohyun before breaking into a sweet smile.

“Hi,” he greeted, blinking sleepily.

The younger smiled back and planted a small kiss to his hand. “Hi, handsome.”

Sunggyu blushed lightly, making Woohyun happy to see a splash of color in those too pale cheeks.

“I told Noona not to tell you,” the older whined.

“And why not?” Woohyun pouted. “I was worried.”

“That’s what I was trying to avoid. You were working, I didn’t want you to be distracted.”

“Well, I’m not working anymore for today, so I’m all yours.” He smiled, cheekily at Sunggyu before placing his hand on his forehead. “It looks like your fever is all gone. That’s good. Did the doctor say when you can go home?”

Sunggyu’s face fell and he turned his head away to look blankly at the ceiling. The anxiety in the pit of Woohyun’s stomach returned, bubbling its way to the rest of his body.

“Gyu?” he prodded the other. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

And to Woohyun’s alarm, tears started falling from Sunggyu’s eyes.

“Gyu?!” He jumped up to place his hands on the older’s cheek to turn his head towards him. “Hey, jagiya, what’s wrong?”

Sunggyu swallow and his lips trembled. “W-Woohyun…”

The younger flashed him a gentle smile, wiping the tears away with his thumb.

“It’s back.”

The older’s voice was low that Woohyun probably wouldn’t have caught it if he wasn’t so close. This thumb froze as he felt a cold feeling wash over him.

“W-What?” was all he could utter, his hands falling to his side as he stared at Sunggyu in shock.

For the first time in a long while, he started pleading to a higher power that it wasn’t what he thought it was. It couldn’t be. His boyfriend was recovering so well. His hair was getting longer again. He was laughing more. He was doing things on his own more. It just couldn’t be!

“The cancer… It’s back.”

And Woohyun’s world crashed. He felt like a giant, heavy weight had landed on his chest, painfully squeezing his heart and rendering him unable to breathe.

Sunggyu suddenly looked so small… so fragile… so much like the Sunggyu that he first met several months ago. Weak. Vulnerable. And very much sick.

He hated it.

With a shaking hand, Woohyun reached out again to cup Sunggyu’s face. “I-It’s okay,” he said, cursing himself for his shaking voice. “W-We’ll get through this. You’ll fight again, okay?”

He tried to flash a smile, but Sunggyu only winced and refused to meet his eyes. The older’s hands were clutching the blanket at his lap so tightly that his knuckles were white.

“W-Woohyun… I…” His voice caught in his throat and he let out a soft sob.

“It will be okay, Gyu, I know it will. Did you talk to the doctor about your chemo? I’ll make sure to take that week off and-.”

“I’m not doing it anymore,” the other whispered.

That gave Woohyun a pause. One second. Two seconds. Three seconds. Time ticked by slowly and yet, Sunggyu did not take back his words, didn’t laugh it off as a joke, didn’t tease Woohyun about being so gullible.

“What… What do you mean you’re not doing it anymore?” Woohyun’s voice was hard and cold. It was a tone he had never used before. Not to Sunggyu.

Sunggyu swallowed again. “I… I’ve decided… to stop chemo.”

Silence permeated the room. Neither of them made a move or a sound, as Sunggyu’s declaration sunk in.

Woohyun wanted to slap himself awake. For sure, this was a dream. How else could Sunggyu say that he was going to allow the disease to win so easily? The Sunggyu he knew and fell in love with wasn’t a quitter, he always fought back. Why was this Sunggyu admitting defeat? Why was he…

"You don't mean that," he stated.

Silence. 

“Why are you giving up?!” he all but screamed at the older.

Sunggyu flinched again, but this time, he raised his head to meet the younger’s eyes. “Woohyun… I can’t do this anymore…”

“If it’s about the money, I’ve told you plenty of times that I can help!”

The idol would empty out his entire savings account if it meant Sunggyu would keep fighting. He would work day and night, taking every single job offered to him if it meant Sunggyu would live longer.

The older’s brows were now furrowed in frustration. “It’s not about the money! I’m just… I’m tired of living like this…”

Woohyun could only stare at him in disbelief. “Don’t I mean a thing to you anymore?!” he said in an accusing tone.

“Of course you do! So much! I love you! But, Woohyun, I just…”

The older tried to reach out and grab his arm, but Woohyun stepped away.

“You can’t say you love me and then decide to give up on yourself! You want to die, Sunggyu!”

“I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in and out of a hospital! Why can’t you understand?! I’m hurting you by continuing to live like this!”

“You’re hurting me by giving up and allowing yourself to die! That’s not love, Sunggyu!”

Tears were now spilling from his eyes and he didn’t care. In front of him, Sunggyu was also crying in that silent way of his. He wanted nothing more than to take his stubborn boyfriend into his arms and comfort him in kisses and sweet words… but, he couldn’t.

He was upset. Angry. Furious. Devastated. All these feelings were swirling inside of him, overwhelming his senses. The painful weight in his chest felt even heavier, suffocating him.

He needed to get out of there.

And that was what he did. Nam Woohyun turned on his heels and fled from the hospital room, ignoring the voice of the love of his life calling out for him.

 

+++++++

 

There was a knock on the bedroom door, but Woohyun barely registered it as he furiously scribbled into the brown leather notebook. He was surrounded by papers and crumpled up pieces of sheet music, his keyboard next to him.

The door opened and he felt someone settle onto the floor next to him. He turned his head to see a worried-looking leader staring back at him.

“Sungjong is sleeping in my room tonight,” he simply stated. “I’ll sleep here, okay?”

Woohyun gave him a brief nod before turning back to his lyrics. Wordlessly, Dongwoo picked up one of the sheets of music and examined it. He hummed the tune a little before putting it back down. He turned to peek into the notebook.

“Did time stop again? Is it going to fall asleep like this again?” he quoted from the notebook.

Woohyun paused, the pen in his hand shaking against the page. That heavy feeling in his chest was back and he struggled to breathe and stop the tears from pouring out of his eyes again. His orbs were so very sore and so very tired of crying. But… he couldn’t stop. That was why he needed to write… He needed to spill all these emotions into something else. And that something else was a song.

He had been at it for 5 hours now.

“If you want to talk about what happened earlier, then I’m here to listen,” Dongwoo said, carefully and gently. “But, if you don’t want to talk, I’ll just keep you company, okay?’

For a long while, they stayed like that in silence, Woohyun furiously writing and Dongwoo playing on his phone. The silence was grueling, but it was also comforting. The other members had displayed worry for him after they saw the state he was in when he got home earlier, but he didn’t say anything. He had unknowingly kicked Sungjong out of their room, as the maknae realized he wasn’t fit to deal with his somber mood. Having Dongwoo there was exactly what he needed at the moment.

It was almost midnight now, and they were supposed to be up at 7am for a full day of schedules, but neither could sleep.

Finally, Woohyun set aside his notebook and leaned back to lie on the floor, staring at the ceiling. He turned his head to look at the notebook and his heart clenched in pain again.

“Hyung,” he whispered.

Dongwoo jerked from his position, blinking at the sudden call. “Hmm? What is it, Woohyunnie? Do you want to sleep now?”

The vocal didn’t answer his question. Instead, he stated, “Sunggyu’s cancer is back.”

The leader’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open in shock. “Hyunnie, I’m so sorry… I… I don’t know what to say.”

Woohyun took a deep breath and continued, “And he wants to stop his treatments.”

And with that, the younger spilled everything that happened at the hospital, what Sunggyu told him. He felt the tears leaking from his eyes again, and he knew that he would be in so much trouble with the make-up noonas tomorrow.

“How could he do this to me, hyung? How could he just… throw away his life, just like that! What about his parents?! His sister?! Me?!”

He was sobbing and Dongwoo wasted no time to place an arm around him, bringing him close to a hug. The leader allowed him to cry until he had run out of tears, hiccupping with a dry throat.

Dongwoo went out for a minute and returned with a glass of water for him and he gulped it down, fervently, soothing the dryness in his throat. But, it did little to ease the pain in his chest.

“Can I give my honest opinion, Woohyun?” the older asked once the younger had calmed down. “You don’t have to agree, but this is just what I think.”

Woohyun nodded, uncaringly. It wasn’t like things could get worse.

“Judging from what you said, it seems that Sunggyu-hyung is… tired,” the older said, carefully. “Not tired of living, but tired of what comes with his sickness. Think about it, he’s been in and out of the hospital since he was 18. Chemo, from what I’ve read of it, it’s not the most fun thing in the world. And having to do that over and over again… I’d be tired too.”

The vocal looked incredulously at the rapper. “Hyung! Are you saying that it’s okay for Sunggyu to give up just like that?! That I should give up on him?!”

“No, no! Not at all!” Dongwoo shook his head and sighed. “Hyunnie, think about how much pain he is each time. He’s been doing this for years, he’s used to it, but it can take a toll on him emotionally too. I’m not saying you should give up on him. But, take his feelings into consideration too. You only started dating, what, three months ago? He knows what an emotional toll a relapse can do to someone he loves.”

Woohyun remembered Sunggyu’s words: _“I’m hurting you by continuing to live like this!”_

“But… he’s not hurting me by continuing to live,” he argued. “If anything, he’s hurting me by giving up.”

“You’re thinking along the lines of your own feelings,” Dongwoo said, gently. “But think about Sunggyu-hyung’s. He’s hurting because of what’s happening to him, and with the way you reacted, you hurt him even more.”

“But, that shouldn’t be a reason to just give up and let that… that disease kill him!”

Dongwoo sighed again and flashed Woohyun a serious look that he rarely ever saw the older sport. “Sometimes, Woohyun, even if it hurts us greatly, when we love someone, we have to be there for the times when they want to fight… and for the times when they want to give up.”

He patted the younger’s shoulder before standing up and stretching. “It’s late. Go to bed, we have to be up early.”

And with that, the older climbed into Sungjong’s bunk and within minutes, he was fast asleep. Woohyun was left on the floor, staring at the ceiling, contemplating everything the older just told him. He couldn’t wrap his mind around it. He thought about Sunggyu, how he must be feeling right now, if he was already resting, if Woohyun had really hurt him.

The younger fell asleep like that and the next day, he woke up with the most painful backache from sleeping on the floor, but it was nothing compared to the ache in his chest that refused to go away.

 

+++++++

 

For the next three days, Woohyun didn’t visit Sunggyu. It wasn’t because he was still angry at the older. On the contrary, he wanted to see him. But, his schedules just didn’t allow it. And one negative thing about his managers knowing about his relationship now was that they kept a close eye on him, so he couldn’t sneak out after schedules. He was preparing for his solo debut in just a few months, and they didn’t want him to be distracted.

He wanted to call the older, but every time he was about to, he would change his mind. Why? Because he was ashamed. He thought about everything that Dongwoo said to him when he had a moment to think, and realized that he reacted poorly to Sunggyu’s decision. Yes, he couldn’t blame himself for being angry and upset, but did he really have to accuse Sunggyu of not loving him?

Woohyun cursed his impulsiveness, sometimes.

It took begging, the other members' voices of support, and the maknae’s whining that he couldn’t stay in his room due to Woohyun’s bad mood that the managers finally agreed to let him go after their schedules were done for the day. Geonam drove him to the hospital and promised to pick him up when visiting hours were done.

Armed with a bag of strawberries, Woohyun made his way into the hospital to his boyfriend’s room. He had texted Sunghee beforehand to let her know that he was coming and to not tell Sunggyu.

The older woman opened the door for him when he arrived and left to get herself some coffee (“You’re going to get addicted to that stuff soon, Noona,” he teased, effectively putting a small smile on her face).

In his bed, Sunggyu was fast asleep, his head bare of the Infinite beanie that he always wore.

Woohyun made his way towards him and placed the bag of strawberries on the bedside table. For a moment, he simply watched the older’s peaceful face, free of concern and worry. He reached out with a hand and gently brushed through the thin strands of hair before leaning down and pressing a tender kiss to his forehead.

Then, he settled on the chair by the bed and waited.

Sunghee returned a half hour later with two cups of coffee. She handed him one and settled on the nearby couch.

“I’m assuming he told you his decision?” she asked, in a soft voice.

Woohyun nodded and looked away in shame. “I upset him,” he said. “I shouldn’t have reacted that way. It’s not good for him.”

“I understand. I reacted that way too.” Sunghee sighed loudly as she sipped her coffee. “He’s been depressed all of last year, until he met you. He was happy then. We love him and we would do everything to make sure he lives, but Gyu also blames himself for not getting better. And with you, I guess he’s been worrying about how this will affect you.”

That statement sent a pang to Woohyun’s heart. It was very similar to what Dongwoo had told him. What kind of boyfriend was he? He couldn’t even read his own boyfriend’s feelings!

“I don’t want to give up on him,” the idol said, watching Sunggyu sleep. “I don’t want him to give up on himself.”

“You know, this isn’t the first time he’s said that he wanted to stop chemo,” Sunghee revealed.

Woohyun turned to her, quickly, eyes wide in shock.

Sunghee nodded. “The reason I wrote to the producers of that show was that... During Gyu’s third relapse, he said that if the chemo didn’t work, he was going to stop. He had lost hope when it came back again. But, when he got picked and met you, he decided to try again. You gave him strength at the time, Woohyun. You gave him more time.” She sighed, deeply. “But, he’s lost hope again. I’ve been by his side for seven years like this and I’ll admit to you, it’s difficult. There were also times when I wanted to quit. I’ve had my fair share of mental and emotional breakdowns, and I know that he knows that, and that makes him feel even more guilty. And he’s scared because he doesn’t want to see you go through the same thing. He loves you that much.”

The idol took in all of Sunghee’s words, allowing them to sink into his brain and his heart. He could understand now… Why Sunggyu wanted to stop. He was only thinking of Woohyun. And selfish Woohyun made it all about himself.

He felt incredibly torn.

For another hour or so, Sunghee and Woohyun stayed silent. Sunghee read a book, while Woohyun played games on his phone, occasionally looking up to look at his boyfriend’s face. Sunggyu’s room didn’t have a T.V. set, so the only sounds that permeated the silence were the older’s light snores and the occasional page turning from Sunghee’s book.

Sunggyu eventually stirred from his nap with a soft groan and Woohyun put his phone away and moved his chair closer to the bed. Slowly, the older opened his eyes and his gaze fell on the idol, immediately. The eyes blinked several times before widening in surprise.

“W-Woohyun?” Sunggyu stuttered, voice a little hoarse.

The younger flashed his brightest smile before leaning in and kissing his nose. “Hey, handsome,” he cooed. “How are you feeling?”

“Um… Alright… What are you doing here?”

“To see you, of course. And… to apologize, for last time.”

Sunghee suddenly moved to get up, announcing that she was going to get some food. Woohyun silently thanked her, knowing that she only wanted to give them some privacy.

When they were alone again, Sunggyu lifted an arm to place his hand on Woohyun’s cheek. “You’re not angry with me anymore?” he asked so timidly that it broke Woohyun’s heart.

He hurriedly shook his head. “No, not anymore. I’m so sorry for the things I said, jagiya. I was just… caught by surprise… and yes, a little angry. But not anymore.”

To reassure the older, he took the hand on his cheek and placed it against his lips, kissing it lightly. “I love you, okay? I love you so much. And I told you from the beginning, I’ll always be by your side. And if this… if this is what you want… then, I’ll support you and stay by your side, as long as you don’t push me away. I love you, Sunggyu.”

He lifted himself off the chair and leaned in to press his lips to Sunggyu’s. The older returned the kiss, immediately. Woohyun could even feel him smiling into it.

And he meant every word. Even if it hurt him or made him angry and upset, he was going to continue to stick by the older’s side. Sunggyu needed him more than ever in that time… in however much time they had left.

When they broke apart, the older stared at him with an unreadable expression before placing his hands on Woohyun’s face, squishing his cheeks, lightly.

“Why are you so good to me?” he whispered in wonder.

“Because I love you,” Woohyun repeated with a grin. “I love you more than anything, more than my career, I’d give it up for you.”

“Yah, don’t do that or I’ll be very angry at you,” Sunggyu pouted, cutely.

And for the first time in days, Woohyun laughed. “Okay, okay, I won’t.” He pecked the older’s nose, lightly. “I’ll be here for as long as you want me to.”

Again, Sunggyu stared at him, head tilted to the side as his thumb gently stroked Woohyun’s cheek. The younger wondered what he was thinking so deeply about.

“Dr. Choi is coming in later to check on me,” he stated. “I’ll schedule the chemo with him then.”

For a moment, there was only silence. Woohyun blinked once. Twice. His brow furrowed in confusion as the words registered in his mind. And when it finally dawned on him that he didn’t imagine it, that Sunggyu was now smiling, brightly at him, the weight in his chest lifted.

“Wait… You mean…”

Sunggyu nodded. “You’re right. I shouldn’t give up so easily. I want to keep fighting… For you… So I can be with you for a longer time. I’ll try again. One more time. Is that okay? Will you stay by my side, Woohyun?”

Tears were now spilling from his eyes, but the idol didn’t care. He was too busy showering his older boyfriend’s face with kisses, mumbling, “Thank you” and “I love you” over and over again.

There was hope.

 

+++++++

 

A week later, Woohyun found himself walking down the familiar hallway, taking in the familiar smell of antiseptics and overall cleanliness. He walked past people in wheelchairs and gurneys, tilting his head at familiar nurses and doctors rushing about. 

Reaching the familiar door, he knocked and waited until a voice bid him to come in. When he entered, Sunghee greeted him from her spot on the couch and tilted her head over towards the bed.

“He won’t eat again,” she told him.

On the bed, Sunggyu was keeled over his trusty bucket, retching noises permeating the room. The older looked up and wrinkled his nose at him.

“Why do you always catch me when I’m puking my guts out?” he complained.

Woohyun just laughed as he approached and placed the basket of fruit on the bedside table. Then, he leaned down to kiss his boyfriend, but the older moved his head away, blocking Woohyun’s lips with his hand.

“Yah! I just threw up! Don’t kiss me!”

The idol pouted but leaned back down anyway to peck his cheek. Sunggyu made a face at him before turning back to his bucket and throwing up again. Woohyun hummed as he rubbed the older’s back, soothingly. When he was done, Sunghee went ahead to clean up the bucket while Woohyun assisted him with drinking some water and tucking him back to bed.

“Hyung, you should eat.”

“Later.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Satisfied, Woohyun settled himself on the chair and proceeded to talk about his day.

Sunggyu had his chemo session the day before, so he was still weak and had no appetite. Unfortunately, Infinite’s managers did not relent in giving him day offs or easing his schedules, so Woohyun simply rushed to the hospital when he was done, aiming to get there before visiting hours were over.

When Sunggyu was ready to eat again, Woohyun was there, feeding him despite the older’s protest that he could feed himself. And when it was time for him to leave, he sweetly kissed the older good-bye (ignoring Sunggyu’s insistence that his breath smelled awful), and promised to be back the next day.

It was difficult. Woohyun was physically exhausted. But, mentally and emotionally, he was determined to ensure that Sunggyu knew that he wasn’t planning on leaving any time soon.

 

+++++++

 

As per usual, once Sunggyu was feeling much better and no longer throwing up, his doctor gave the “okay” for a discharge so he could recover at home. Having no schedule until the afternoon, Woohyun was there to assist.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, once the older was settled on his bed.

Sunggyu pursed his lips in concentration before answering, “Hungry.”

Woohyun laughed and kissed his forehead. “Noona is getting lunch ready. I’ll go help her.”

“No!” The older grabbed his hand as he was about to walk away. “Stay.” He scooted to the other side of his bed and patted the space next to him.

Chuckling, the younger settled on the space on top of the sheets and placed an arm around Sunggyu’s neck and bringing his head down to rest on his shoulder. The older didn’t protest, sighing in contentment at their closeness.

Sometimes, they didn’t really need to do much or talk much. They liked the silence, just reveling in each other’s presence. Initially, Woohyun thought silence in a relationship meant that something was wrong. But, with Sunggyu, the silence was just as meaningful as when they were talking about random things.

“Hyun?”

“Hmmm?”

A pause. Then, “I’m scared.”

The confession stabbed Woohyun’s heart. Sunggyu’s voice sounded so small and fragile, so different from the strong-willed boyfriend that he fell in love with. Nonetheless, Woohyun could only hold him tighter.

“I’m here,” he whispered. “Whatever happens, I’m not leaving.”

To be quite honest, Woohyun was scared too. No, not scared. He was beyond terrified. He didn’t want to lose Sunggyu, not without a fight.

Sunggyu dozed off right after that, neglecting the lunch that he was no longer hungry for. Woohyun stayed by his side until the time he had to leave for work. His heart yearned to stay, but he knew Sunggyu would be upset with him if he didn’t go.

 

+++++++

 

Sometimes, Woohyun worked at the Kims’ house. Sunggyu was now recovering well, and Sunghee went back to work again.

The idol would bring his brown leather notebook and his music sheets and spend the entire afternoon at Sunggyu’s piano, the older usually next to him. The company allowed him 3 spots for self-composed music and he was furiously working hard on finishing them. And being the ever supportive boyfriend he was, Sunggyu helped out when he was stuck.

It was during one of these sessions that Sunggyu asked him, “Do you regret dating me Woohyun-ah?”

Surprised, Woohyun abandoned his pencil to look at the older. “What? No! Why would you even think that?”

Sunggyu looked down at the piano keys.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’m like this. I’m sorry that I allowed us to get so close like this only to hurt you in the end.”

Sunggyu’s lip was trembling now and he bit it again to stop it from quivering so much because tears were surely to follow.

Woohyun placed both hands on Sunggyu’s cheeks to turn his head towards him so he could look him in the eye. “Never apologize for being in my life.” He pecked his nose. “All I regret is that that I didn’t meet you sooner.” He pressed his lips to his. “Now, stop being so negative, jagiya. Do I need to do aegyo for you?”

He brought his hands over his head and made peace signs before curling them up and down and made “bbuing bbuing” noises.

Normally, Sunggyu would frown or scoff or even walk away. But, this time, to Woohyun’s surprise, he just smiled and chuckled before shaking his head and turning back to the piano.

“I’ll never understand why you were my favorite,” he stated. “But I love you, so I guess I don’t need a reason.”

Before Woohyun could answer, Sunggyu started to play the song from the music sheet in front of him.

For once, it was Woohyun who blushed at his boyfriend’s words. He watched as Sunggyu played and hummed along to the song, wondering if he had saved a country in his previous life to have such a person like Sunggyu come into his life.

His boyfriend must have noticed his staring as he stopped playing and asked, “What?”

With a greasy grin, Woohyun scooted closer and laid his head on Sunggyu’s shoulder. “Keep playing. And sing too. I like listening to you.”

Confused but nonetheless, the older acquiesced to his request, playing and singing the song Woohyun had tentatively entitled, “Memories.”

Sunggyu’s voice washed over him like refreshing rain, cleansing him from all negativity surrounding his life at the moment. All there was, at that moment, were the two of them. Nothing else matters, not Woohyun’s career, not the cancer, not the disapproval of society, nothing.

When Sunggyu was done, Woohyun lifted his head as he pressed himself closer to the older. He leaned his forehead against Sunggyu’s, feeling his warm skin against his, their noses brushing each other’s.

“I don’t know what I would do without you,” he confessed, lips trembling.

Sunggyu’s eyes locked with his and Woohyun could see the sadness reflected in those tiny brown orbs. “I’m not leaving you, just yet,” he replied. “I want to spend every hour, every minute, and every second I have left loving you.”

“That’s so greasy,” Woohyun teased, a smile quirking on his lips.

“I learned from the best,” Sunggyu teased back before closing the gap between them with a kiss. “I love you,” he whispered against Woohyun’s plump lips.

“I love you too,” the younger replied.

The notebook and music sheets lay forgotten on the piano as the couple lost themselves in their own world once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: **bows** I'm so sorry.  
> So, the "Memories" song I mention here is actually "Scent" or "Nostalgia", one of Woohyun's self-composed songs in his "Write..." album. Musicians usually have tentative titles for their songs before deciding on a final title, so I did that here.
> 
> Also, this story is coming closer to the end. **sad face** Maybe about one or two more chapters left. I will make a note on when it goes back to the present a.k.a. the beginning of the story where Woohyun is looking back on this after his solo performance during Infinite's concert.
> 
> Honestly, I'm making myself cry writing this. I don't even know why I'm doing this to myself and to you guys, but it's too late to stop now. Thank you for your continued support despite the heartache I'm giving you. You're all the true M.V.P.s! **bows**


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: **bows** I'm so sorry.

“…I’ll wait for you now until time stops… If I can find you, I’ll wait for you now, until I can breathe again…”

Woohyun held the note and slowly let his voice fade away as the music played its final bars. The music cut and he looked up to see the music director clapping.

“Great job, Woohyun!” the older man complimented, clapping as the idol removed the headphones and exited the recording booth. “I gotta say, I was skeptical with this song at first, but it’s beautiful! Sad, but beautiful! Very Nam Woohyun!"

The idol grinned. “Thanks, hyung. I’m glad you like it.”

“So, I’ll have the mp3s ready for you in about… three days? I’ll give them to your manager.” He looked curiously at the idol. “So, why did you want copies again? You’re not planning on leaking these, are you?”

Woohyun laughed as he put on his jacket. “No! That’s not it. I just want to show them to someone whose opinion matters a lot to me.”

“Ahhh.” The musical director nodded in understanding as he grinned. “Girlfriend?”

Again, Woohyun laughed and shook his head. “Nope, I don’t have a girlfriend. He’s someone very important to me.”

“You know it’s just you and me here, Woohyun. Nothing leaves this room.”

The idol smiled. “I know, hyung. I trust you. Anyway, we’re done, right?”

“Oh, yes. You’re good to go! This album will be a hit, Woohyun, I know it will.”

“Thanks, hyung!”

Bidding the Music Director good-bye, Woohyun left the studio with a spring in his step. Being done with recording meant one thing: he was free for the rest of the day!

Whistling as he fished his phone out of his pocket, he headed towards Woollim’s parking lot to meet his waiting manager. Right before he got outside, he called Sunggyu.

“Are you home?” he asked, looking around warily to watch for eavesdroppers and prying eyes.

“Yes, Noona went to work.”

“Can I come over?”

“No.”

“Hyuuuung!”

“I don’t know why you bother asking. You come whether I say yes or not.”

“So… can I?”

A sigh. “Yes, jagiya, you can come over.”

Woohyun could not stop the goofy grin from appearing on his lips. “I can rent some DVDs and buy popcorn. How’s that?”

“Call! I’ll leave the gate open for you.”

“Great!” The idol looked around for a bit before whispering into the phone, “I love you.”

On the other line, Sunggyu chuckled. “I love you too.”

He hung up and practically skipped to his manager’s van.

He had Geonam stop by the rental store to pick up some movies and a convenience store for popcorn before the manager would drive him to Sunggyu’s. It was safer and much easier than having Woohyun take a taxi. One advantage to having his managers know of his relationship was that he could get rides to and from his dates.

He played some games on his phone on the way, occasionally texting his boyfriend where he was and that he would be there soon. They were stuck in the middle of traffic when Geonam finally attempted a conversation.

“So, Woohyun, how are you and Sunggyu-shii?” the manager asked, nonchalantly.

Woohyun paused his game and looked up to answer him with a fond smile. “We’re great! I can’t wait to see him. It’s been a while.”

“Uh… It’s only been 3 days since you met up.”

“Yeah, but it felt like 3 years.”

Geonam raised a skeptical eyebrow at him, which made Woohyun laugh.

“I just miss him when we’re apart,” the idol continued. “It’s difficult that I can’t see him as much as I want, with the album preparation and all. And he doesn’t want to take up much of my time so he just waits until I have some time off.”

The manager hummed. “He’s really supportive, huh?”

Woohyun’s smile widened as he thought of the times Sunggyu would text him a “Fighting!” or just to say that he watched him on some show on T.V. or to update him on what the other fans have been saying about him and Infinite on the fan cafe and social media.

“Yeah… He really is.”

Geonam cleared his throat. “It’s been a month since his… chemo, right?”

Both of Sunggyu’s treatments went well and his condition had been better. But, as Woohyun learned last month, just because he was fine for a couple of months or even up to a year, it did not mean the cancer was fully gone. And that made him anxious, always wondering if the symptoms would show up again that day or the next day or the day after.

“Um… yeah… But, he’s good! He’s doing chores around the house again and going out sometimes. He even started looking at online classes. He wants to go back to school.”

The traffic was moving gradually now and soon, they would reach the Kims’ neighborhood.

“Woohyun, I know you worry about him, I understand, I really do.” Geonam paused for a moment to sigh. “But we can’t have you distracted. Your debut is next month and the official announcement is going out next week. Your schedule will be full and we can’t let you go off all the time, you need to rest when you can.”

“Sunggyu lets me nap when I’m over,” Woohyun said, quickly. “And the recording is done too. There’s just the MV filming and the photo shoot for the album jacket. I should be fine, hyung.”

“Don’t forget, you’ll also be having tons of interviews for T.V., radio, and magazines,” Geonam reminded him. “It may not seem like a lot, but you’ve been in this business for some time now. You know that you can get burnt out if you don’t rest properly. I’m just worried about you, Woohyun.”

“I’m fine, hyung, really. Sunggyu-hyung takes good care of me.”

Geonam sighed. “And what if something happens again? Woohyun, you can’t compromise your entire career for a boyfriend of only a few months.”

Actually, Woohyun would but he knew better than to say that to his manager. So, instead, he said, “I can work on my album and date Sunggyu at the same time. I’ll be fine. I know my limits and so does he. I got this, hyung. Don’t you believe in me?”

“I do, it’s just that…” The manager sighed again. “Just remember to take care of yourself too, okay? And be careful.”

“I will, hyung. Don’t worry.”

They finally made it to the Kims’ house and Woohyun put on his bunny mask and a beanie and grabbed his bag of DVD’s and popcorn. Geonam told him to be ready for pickup by 6pm as he left the car. The manager waited until he entered through the gate and was walking up the path before driving away.

Before he could knock, the door opened to reveal Sunggyu. “I heard the gate,” he explained, stepping aside to let Woohyun in.

After the door closed behind them, Woohyun dropped the bags on the floor and pulled him in for a kiss, arms going around the older’s waist, while Sunggyu wrapped his own around Woohyun’s neck.

When they broke apart, Woohyun flashed a greasy smile. “Hi, beautiful.”

Sunggyu wrinkled his nose. “I’m a man.”

“A man can be beautiful too, and you definitely are.”

Scoffing, the older pulled away from him and grabbed the bags. Without another word, he headed over to the living room to set up a DVD. On the coffee table were already laid a can of soda for Woohyun and a glass of water for Sunggyu.

The movie they picked was called “The Classic” with Son Ye Jin and Jo Seung Woo. It was somewhat of a tragic romance of the past that paralleled the present. By the end of it, Sunggyu was crying and Woohyun did his best to keep his tears at bay.

“Yah! Why do you always pick sad movies?!” Sunggyu whined, hitting Woohyun’s arm as the idol moved to turn the T.V. off. “You’re so mean! Do you just want to see me cry?!”

The idol only pulled him into his arms, rubbing his back, whispering his “sorry” over and over again.

“But it was nice, right hyung?” he said with a greasy smile. “Love still won in the end.”

Sunggyu sniffled. “Did they have to suffer so much?!”

“That’s when you cherish love the most.”

The older pouted at him. “I don’t like it.”

Woohyun chuckled and pulled him into his arms and looked him in the eyes. “Should I try to make you feel better?”

Sunggyu didn’t respond, only sighed and laid his head against Woohyun’s chest, arms tightening around the younger.

“I don’t like it,” he repeated in a whisper. “I don’t like that they have to suffer. I don’t like that their circumstances were against them. They should be able to love freely without being in so much pain.”

Woohyun was fairly sure that Sunggyu wasn’t talking about the movie anymore. All of a sudden, he regretted not looking up the plot of the movie before renting it. He was making his boyfriend sad, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

“Hey, listen to me. Are you listening?”

Sunggyu hummed in response.

“The suffering was painful for them, yes. But, you know why I still think it was a beautiful love story?”

“Why?”

“Because with every letter they wrote to each other, with every moment they spent together, with every word of love they said to each other, it was all so precious. They all became precious memories that they carried with them until the end.”

“Those memories should have been painful then.”

“No, they’re not, jagiya. Those were happy memories. There may be a little pain associated with them for a while, but eventually, the pain will fade and they will look back on those memories with fondness. Because for that moment, they were happy and in love. No pain or amount of suffering can beat that.”

There was only silence for a few moments. Woohyun realized that as he spoke, the tears he held earlier were now dripping from his eyes. He hoped Sunggyu wouldn’t notice.

The arms around him loosened as Sunggyu gently pulled away from him. He looked surprised at the tears on Woohyun’s face and moved to wipe them away.

“Will you remember me with fondness, then?” he asked, softly. “You suffered so much with me. Would my memory bring you pain and happiness?”

Woohyun was struck by the question. Of course, he had thought about it, several times in the last month alone. Almost losing Sunggyu was enough to make him think all sorts of terrible scenarios. He and Sunggyu often avoided talking about it, but he knew that the older thought about it too.

Tenderly, he placed a hand against Sunggyu’s cheek. “Every moment we spend together, and every word I said to you and you to me are precious,” he answered. “Remember that, okay?”

The older’s lips quirked into a small smile. “Okay.” He sat up and stared at the rest of the DVDs. “Now, can we pick something happier, please?!”

The heavy feeling in the idol’s chest disappeared at the annoyed scowl on his boyfriend’s face.

They picked a Japanese animated film next. As they watched, cuddled on the couch, Woohyun could not help but hold Sunggyu tighter against him, not willing to let him go.

 

+++++++

 

As he promised, the Musical Director sent the mp3s of Woohyun’s songs to his manager who then passed them on to the ecstatic vocalist. He imported the songs to his phone and as soon as he had a window of free time in his busy schedule, he, of course, went to see his boyfriend.

Sunggyu would be the first fan to hear the songs from his solo album.

They were in the living room, sitting side-by-side on the couch, with Sunggyu listening to one of the tracks through headphones. His eyes were staring blankly at the coffee table, lips pursed in concentration.

Woohyun thought he looked incredibly adorable and wished he could take a photo.

When the song was over, Sunggyu removed the headphones and turned to his younger boyfriend. “This is your title track?” he asked.

The latter nodded. “What do you think?”

“It’s nice.” Sunggyu paused. “You didn’t write it.”

Woohyun quirked an eyebrow. “How did you know?”

Sunggyu shrugged. “It wasn’t a bad song, it was good. Perfect for your voice too. But… it didn’t sound like you. Your songs always have a certain quality to them. I don’t know how to explain it, but… I couldn’t see Nam Woohyun in this song.”

The idol’s heart skipped a beat, and he grinned as he placed his hands on the older’s cheeks and squished them. “Aigoo, my boyfriend knows me so well.” He released his face and picked up the phone again. “Listen to another one and guess if this is one I wrote.”

When Sunggyu had the headphones on, he played the next song and waited. Again, the older looked adorably focused on the song. Woohyun just wanted to squeeze him.

“This is yours,” Sunggyu stated, halfway through the song.

Woohyun grinned again. “You’re right! Awww, my boyfriend is amazing!”

He found it incredibly heartwarming that Sunggyu could see his personality through his songs.

Sunggyu chuckled. “How can it not be? The lyrics are greasy!”

At that, the younger pouted. “Hyuuuuung,” he whined. “Why are you so mean to me, when I love you so much?!”

The older only laughed, pecking his nose before demanding to hear the rest of the songs. Woohyun played them all one-by-one and Sunggyu correctly which ones he had written and which ones he didn’t. As his thumb hovered on the last track, the younger hesitated.

Sunggyu gave him a questioning look.

“Hmmm… I think I’ll just have you wait until the album comes out to listen to this, hyung.”

“Huh? Why?”

Woohyun took back his headphones and turned his phone off, putting them on the coffee table. “It’s the bonus track… and… I’m actually… not really sure… about it… yet.”

The older tilted his head to the side. “Why?”

But Woohyun shook his head and flashed a bright smile, instead. “So, what did you think? Will it do well?”

Sunggyu scoffed. “You’re Nam Woohyun, of course, it will do well!” He smiled. “I like it a lot. It’s all very… sad, though. But, I like it. Thank you for letting me be the first to hear it, Hyun.” The older bit his lip and looked at the clock. “How much time do you have left?”

“Hmm… about an hour? I have a photoshoot for the album jacket.”

“Ahhh.” Sunggyu scooted closer and gently pushed Woohyun down onto the sofa before curling up to his side. “Let’s nap then.”

Suddenly, the younger felt nervous. The last time Sunggyu always seemed tired…

“I had a late night last night,” the older said, seemingly reading his mind. “I re-watched Infinite’s Weekly Idol episodes and didn’t notice the time.”

The admission made Woohyun’s heart ache. The older must have missed him a lot.

“Hyung, you shouldn’t be tiring yourself out!” he scolded, tightening his hold around Sunggyu’s waist. “No more late nights, got that?”

The older laughed and looked up at him, eyes slanted into crescents. “Okay, okay.”

“Promise?” Woohyun held out his pinky.

Sunggyu wrapped his own around it. “Promise. Now, let’s sleep.”

The older closed his eyes, burrowing his nose into Woohyun’s chest. The latter wasn’t tired at all, so he simply held the older against him, heart hammering against his chest in fear.

Was this what Sunghee and her family felt like in the last 7 years? Waking up every day, afraid that it might be Sunggyu’s last day… that every little thing might be nothing or something at the same time? Woohyun now understood what Sunghee meant when she said there were times when she felt like giving up, when she had mental and emotional breakdowns. Fear was a terrible feeling, and to live with it every day, having to put on a smile for the person you fear for the most, it was exhausting.

But, as Woohyun watched his slumbering boyfriend pressed up against him, content and peaceful, he knew he wouldn’t change anything. He would still be with Sunggyu. He was happy with Sunggyu. And he would be strong for Sunggyu.

“Love you,” he whispered against the older’s forehead, pressing a kiss to it.

The hour passed, too swiftly for the idol’s liking, but he received a text from his manager, telling him that he was 10 minutes away. So, he gently shook his boyfriend awake and somberly announced that he had to go.

Sunggyu pouted as he watched the younger grab his things.

“I don’t know when I can see you next,” Woohyun said as the older walked him to the door. “I have the MV filming starting tomorrow and a couple of interviews, and Infinite is doing some performances so I have to practice. But I’ll call you, okay?”

Sunggyu nodded.

“Don’t stay up late anymore. And eat well.”

He nodded again.

Woohyun placed his hands on the older’s cheeks and leaned in to kiss him good-bye. Sunggyu wrapped his arms around his neck and tilted his head to the side, deepening the kiss. The idol could feel his heart swell in happiness because his boyfriend was acting rather clingy again, though he couldn’t blame him. He’d been very busy in the last couple of weeks and he would be in the next two before his album officially released. He knew that Sunggyu understood… he always did.

After exchanging one last heartfelt “I love you” and a cute eskimo kiss, the couple parted.

 

+++++++

 

Two weeks passed by in a blur. Woohyun was carted off from photo shoot to photo shoot, one filming location to another, interview after interview, vocal practices, dance practices, and variety show appearances. By the end of each day, he rarely had any time to chat with Sunggyu, usually sending him a few quick texts and falling asleep with his phone in his hand.

His older boyfriend never complained, simply continued texting him encouragement and reminders to eat and sleep. Sometimes, he sent cute selcas that put smiles on Woohyun’s face.

Before he knew it, the day came: his solo debut album was officially out.

He received copies, of course, so the first thing he did the morning of the release was to have Geonam drive him to Sunggyu’s. It was still early in the morning, but he had several radio interviews to get to and a variety show appearance in the afternoon, so he had to be up early.

He rang the doorbell and waited until Minkyu came out to let him in.

“Is Gyu still asleep?” he asked, as he followed the older man inside.

“He just woke up, so you’re in luck.”

Seated on the couch in his pajamas watching a morning show was Sunggyu. He was wrapped up in a blanket with a bowl of cereal in his hands. He looked up when Woohyun entered, eyes wide in surprise.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, putting his cereal on the coffee table before scooting to the side to make room for the younger. “I thought you have schedules today?”

“I do.” Woohyun settled next to him. “I just wanted to drop something off.”

He reached into the gift bag he had with him and took out an album – his album.

Sunggyu gasped. “Is that…?”

Woohyun chuckled as he nodded. “It’s for you. And look.” He reached into the bag again and took out a marker. “I’ll even sign it for you. ‘To Sunggyu, My one and only, my heart sings for you. Love, Woohyunnie.’”

He finished off the autograph with a heart and a kiss before handing it to a thunderstruck Sunggyu, who took it with delicate hands.

“I… I could have gotten it myself,” he stated, fingers gingerly running over Woohyun’s photo on the cover. Then, he grinned mischievously at the younger. “A signed album by Nam Woohyun… should I sell it on the internet?”

Woohyun pouted, exaggeratedly. “Hyuuuung,” he whined. “This copy is special! It has my love in it! I even kissed it!”

The older laughed and it warmed the idol’s heart to hear it. He watched as Sunggyu opened the album and looked through the photo book, smiling and caressing Woohyun’s images. He even let out an excited squeak when he found the photo card. As much as Woohyun wanted to stay and marvel at his boyfriend's cuteness, the little beeps from his cellphone alerted him to his manager texting him to hurry up.

“Gyu, I have to go,” he said, regretfully.

His boyfriend’s face fell in disappointment. “Oh, right, your schedules.” He forced a smile, instead. “I’ll walk you to the door.”

He made a move to get up but Woohyun held out an arm to stop him. “No, I can see myself out. Just stay and rest.” He leaned in to press a sweet kiss on the slightly-chapped lips. “Listen to the album and enjoy it, okay? And don’t miss the bonus track, it’s for you.”

He kissed him one more time before getting up from the couch. He called out a goodbye to Minkyu in the kitchen and took one last glance at Sunggyu, throwing him a heart with his fingers.

The older playfully stuck his tongue out at him as Woohyun left for his daily schedule.

A few hours later, while getting his makeup done before an interview, he received a text from Sunggyu:

**Yah! Why is your bonus track so sad, huh?! You wrote it for me?! It’s so sad! You meanie! Why do you always want to make me cry?! And that dedication! What’s up with that?! ‘To that special person, my home is with you.’ Yah! Are you trying to reveal our relationship now?! You better have an explanation for this, Nam Woohyun!**

The idol chuckled in amusement and simply responded with: **Love you** **^_^ <3**

 

+++++++

 

If there was anything that could calm the stormy thoughts in Woohyun’s mind and ease away the tension in his muscles after a hard day’s work, it was Sunggyu pressed against him, straddled on his lap, their lips attached.

The older may be rough and stubborn, but when it came to intimate touches, he was shy but eager. Very eager.

Woohyun hummed in satisfaction as Sunggyu’s lips moved sensually over his, the older’s hands shyly exploring the contours of his chest and the muscles of his arms, leaving fire behind with every touch. The idol’s own hands were wandering, feeling the warm skin and the little goosebumps against his fingertips, loving the little whines and moans emitting from his boyfriend’s lips.

There were moments that Woohyun wished would last forever, and this was one of them.

When they pulled away for air, both were flushed and breathing heavily. Woohyun was smiling a goofy smile, squealing in delight at the blush painting Sunggyu’s cheeks.

“Why do you always have to distract me?” Sunggyu complained, pouting.

Woohyun only laughed, but didn’t answer.

The idol had finished his schedules early for the day, so naturally, he was spending the rest of it with Sunggyu. It had been a week and a half since he had dropped off his album for the older, and after that, there wasn’t any time to spend with each other, so Woohyun seized the opportunity when it arose.

Sunggyu was home alone, his sister and her husband both at work, so here they were, making out in his bedroom. Sometimes, Woohyun wondered if the older had ulterior motives for always bringing him into his room whenever they had an entire afternoon with each other.

“Yah, answer my question from before!” Sunggyu insisted, cheeks puffed in annoyance.

“Hmm… What was it again?” Woohyun asked, leaning back against the headboard, though he perfectly knew what that question was.

“Why did you write that bonus track? And don’t you lie to me or I’m leaving this room.”

“Ahhh, right. Why? Do you hate it?”

“No, it’s not that! It’s a beautiful song! It’s just that…” The older bit his lip. “Why did you write it?”

“Hmmm…” The younger’s fingers played with the key necklace dangling from the older’s neck as he replied. “Well… I was sad.” He looked up to meet Sunggyu’s eyes. “I wrote it the night you told me your cancer was back and you didn’t want treatment anymore.”

He watched as the guilt settled in Sunggyu’s eyes and he leaned in to kiss his nose. “Don’t. I needed to let my anger and sadness out. It became a song.”

“I… I’m sorry-.”

“Don’t,” Woohyun said again, pulling him much closer. “I wrote that song for you, to tell you that time may not be on our side, but I’m going to be fighting against it in any way I can.”

“But, Woohyun, if it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be feeling this way. I’m sorry-.”

“No, don’t say sorry.” He leaned his forehead against the older’s. “I told you once, didn’t I? Never say sorry for being in my life.”

The guilt was still in Sunggyu’s eyes, his pretty pink lips set in a frown. Woohyun didn’t like that. He knew that simple aegyo wouldn’t suffice this time. He needed to step it up a notch.

So, even though he knew Sunggyu would most likely kick him for it later, he brought his fingers to the elder’s side… and pinched him. The older yelped, moving to get off of him, but Woohyun was quicker. He grabbed the older by the waist and rolled them over on the bed. He then wasted no time and began tickling the older’s sides.

Sunggyu released loud bouts of laughter, both delighted and irritated. His legs were flailing in attempts to kick Woohyun off of him, his mouth running with colorful phrases of curse words and threats to the idol.

Suddenly, Woohyun stopped his ministrations and before Sunggyu could attempt to push him off again, the younger leaned down and captured his lips in a passionate kiss. The older struggled for a few seconds before resigning himself to the kiss with a soft sigh. His fists, earlier pounding against Woohyun’s chest, wound around the younger’s neck, bringing him closer.

The younger felt an indescribable fire erupt from their conjoined lips and spread throughout the rest of his body, down to his stomach, and even further. When he pulled away, Sunggyu’s eyes were lidded as they stared at him, his lips swollen.

Their eyes connected and Woohyun saw something new in those eyes. His stomach lurched in anticipation, his heart pounding against his chest; he had a wild guess on what that something was. And he was 100 percent sure that they were reflected on his own eyes too.

His suspicion was confirmed and his excitement grew when Sunggyu leaned into him and seductively whispered against his lips, “I’m ready.”

They gave each other their most precious possession that very afternoon.

 

+++++++

 

A month later, Woohyun was backstage during a music show, his very last one before promotions for his solo were officially over. He had already finished performing and was now just watching the other contenders of the show.

He had already won once, and for the idol, that was enough. He had proven himself by releasing a solo, half of the songs composed by himself, and the hard copies sold out within minutes of release. And he had a proud secret boyfriend who wouldn’t stop singing his praises on the internet to anyone who would listen.

He was relieved that it was finally over. He almost didn’t get to spend Sunggyu’s birthday with him, but thank goodness, Geonam took pity on him and cleared his evening. The idol took his boyfriend and his family to Boohyun’s restaurant. Although Mr. Kim still seemed cold and distant towards him, Sunggyu didn’t seem worried, so neither was he. It was one of the most wonderful dinners he had ever attended, and not just for the food, but also for the company with him.

All in all, the idol was satisfied and content with his current life. He had a booming career, family and band mates who supported him, and a loving boyfriend. He was stressed out, yes, but he was happy.

But, as we learn, it wasn’t always smooth sailing.

While watching the show from backstage, Woohyun checked his phone and was greeted by missed calls and a frantic voice mail from Sunghee.

“Woohyun, I’m so sorry for contacting you, I know you’re busy, but Sunggyu… He had a small fever yesterday, but he said he was fine. But, it got worse this morning and he fainted and we’re at the hospital right now…”

He didn’t even finish listening to the voicemail, already running around backstage looking for his manager. When he found Hyoan, he begged the older man to take him to the hospital, right that second.

“Woohyun, you can’t-.”

“Please, hyung! Gyu needs me!”

“Will you quiet down? You’re practically announcing… it.”

“I don’t care! I need to go!”

He made to leave, but the manager grabbed his arm a little too harshly and dragged him to a deserted corner. “Listen here, Nam Woohyun. You are an idol and you have an obligation to stand out there and greet your fans, whether you win or not. Sunggyu-shii can wait.”

“No, he can’t! Can’t you see, hyung?!” Tears were now pooling to the edge of Woohyun’s eyes, and around them, other idols and staff alike shot them curious looks. “We don’t have much time! I need to be there! I-.”

“Get a hold of yourself!” Hyoan roared, shaking him a little before releasing him. The manager placed a tired hand over his eyes. “This is why I was skeptical about this whole thing from the beginning. You’re starting to neglect everything you worked hard for just for this guy. Do you know what you’re wasting here, Woohyun?!”

But the idol’s tears didn’t stop as he stared back at his manager in defiance. “I love him, hyung. If I have to give this all up to stay by his side, I would. But, he won’t let me.”

“Is that so? Then do you think he’d be happy with this then? With you running off in the middle of a music show? Do you think he would be happy that you left a music show, disappointing your fans, for him? You know him better than I do, Woohyun. Think about how he would react then.”

That finally stopped the idol in his tracks. As much as it pained him, Hyoan was right this time. Sunggyu never wanted his condition to stop Woohyun from his idol responsibilities, the older wasn’t selfish. He settled with whatever Woohyun could manage to offer.

With a heavy heart, he stayed for the rest of the show, sending Sunghee a text that he would get there as soon as he was done.

Woohyun stood on stage with two rookie groups and another soloist from another band. He politely clapped and congratulated the girl group that won. Once the mic was off of him and he had changed from his stage outfit into regular clothes, he didn’t bother with having his make-up removed. He rushed out of there, jumping into Hyoan’s car and begging the manager to drive as fast as he could.

When he arrived, Sunggyu was sitting up on the bed, his left arm attached to an IV. His face was sickly pale, eyes watery and barely focused as Woohyun approached.

Sunghee sat dazed on the couch, Minkyu holding her in his arms. He bowed to them, quickly before approaching the bed.

“Gyu?”

The older’s lips trembled as he responded, “They did more tests. We’ll know in three days.” He finally met Woohyun’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Woohyun.”

The younger’s heart clenched, painfully, that heavy feeling he thought he could avoid for much longer was back. It pressed against his chest, and he struggled to breathe.

Not caring that they had an audience, Woohyun toed off his sneakers and climbed into the bed. He gently pulled the older into his arms, laying his head against his chest.

“Whatever it is, I’m not leaving,” he whispered to him. “I’m here, okay? I’m not leaving.”

He could feel the tears about to flow out again, but he held them in. He had to be strong.

The older was in his arms all day, and he refused to let go until he had to leave.

Three days later, Woohyun arrived at the hospital just a little before Sunggyu’s doctor came in. He sat on the bed, the older leaning against him, as they waited for Dr. Choi.

The room was quiet. Sunghee was reading a book but had not turned a page in the last ten minutes. Minkyu’s gaze hopped from his phone to his wife to his brother-in-law and back to his phone.

Suffice to say, when Dr. Choi finally arrived, the sober mood in the room turned tensed.

Dr. Choi was an experienced doctor, already in his 50’s and had been working in that hospital for 30 years. He was recommended by the Kims’ family doctor in Jeonju when Sunggyu was diagnosed, and thus, he had been there from the very beginning. He didn’t even bat an eyelash when Woohyun was introduced as a _very_ close friend and was sworn to secrecy about the idol being there. The family trusted him.

The doctor flashed Sunggyu an encouraging smile. “Hello, Sunggyu. How are you feeling?”

“You know that I’d rather have this over with, seonsaengnim,” the other replied, no hint of a smile on his face. “Tell me… Is it back? Again?”

Dr. Choi’s face was unreadable. “After your last treatment, your results came back positive. We couldn’t find a speck of cancer cells left. But, as you already know, they can gradually re-develop. Before, the cells took their time, they were dormant, which was why we believed you were in remission. But, this time, they re-developed much faster than we realized and-.”

“So I relapsed? Again?” Sunggyu’s voice was cold and hard.

It sent an unpleasant shiver down Woohyun’s spine; he had only heard him use that tone once before, during their second meeting.

Dr. Choi sighed in regret. “I’m sorry, Sunggyu.”

Woohyun felt wetness fall on his arm and to his shock, they were tears silently falling from Sunggyu’s eyes.

“I can arrange for your treatment, but seeing as you just had one a few months ago, we’ll wait another week or so to allow your body to recover and-.”

“No.”

His voice rang out loud and clear in the room. Sunghee let out a gasp. Minkyu’s eyes widened in alarm. Woohyun felt his entire body go cold.

The doctor faltered on his spot, unable to go on.

“I-I won’t do it,” Sunggyu continued, voice trembling as his body shook in Woohyun’s hold. “I… I can’t… I can’t do this anymore! Why?! Why me?! Why can’t I just live?!”

And to Woohyun’s alarm, Sunggyu began to thrash around in his arms, screaming "Why?!" over and over again. Blankets and pillows fell to the floor. Sunghee and Mingyu shot up from their seats, attempting to calm him down, but the older was surprisingly strong, pushing them away from him.

“He’s having a panic attack!” Dr. Choi stated, rushing quickly to the door, calling for a nurse.

Woohyun tried to talk to the older, offer him comforting words, but Sunggyu wouldn’t hear him, he refused to hear him. He continued to scream, yelling at Dr. Choi, yelling at himself, yelling at God. Tears flowed freely down his cheeks.

Soon, nurses came running in, two men and a woman. The male nurses pried Woohyun away from the bed before gripping Sunggyu’s arms as he thrashed around. The female nurse quickly injected something into his arm. A minute of struggling later, the older lied limp on the bed, eyes now closed in slumber, his face wet with tears. The nurses then let him go and stepped away. Dr. Choi began to speak to Sunghee and Minkyu.

But, Woohyun… Woohyun was rooted to his spot, eyes never leaving his slumbering boyfriend, the love of his life. He barely registered his own wet face, the heavy feeling in his chest, and his difficulty in breathing.

Before he could even comprehend what he was doing, his body was moving forward towards the bed. He gingerly touched Sunggyu’s thin hair, lightly ran his fingers over the chubby cheeks and wiped the tears away, gently stroked the dry, chapped lips with a thumb.

Then, he climbed into the bed again, bringing the older close to his chest.

“I’m not leaving,” he whispered. “You hear me, Gyu? I’m not leaving… So, please… Stay strong, okay? Stay strong… Please… please don’t leave me.”

He wasn’t sure who he was reassuring: Sunggyu or himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: WHY?! Why do I do this to myself?! Why do I enjoy suffering?! Just so you guys know, I was practically crying writing this chapter. 
> 
> And, before you ask, yes, Sunggyu and Woohyun did have sex in this chapter. I don't write smut, so you would have to use your imagination.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Double update!
> 
> Why?! Why do I do this to myself?! Why do I keep delaying the inevitable?! **crying**

Woohyun peeked into the bedroom to see Sunggyu napping, peacefully. Sunghee told him that it was happening more frequently now.

It had been two weeks since the incident. Sunggyu refused to stay at the hospital and insisted on going home.

“I refuse to die in a hospital!” he screamed at them when they asked him to re-consider.

They had no choice but to comply with his wishes, unless they wanted him to revert back to his foul moods. It had taken him a week to talk to them without getting angry, and Woohyun didn’t take any of his biting and hurtful words to heart.

The older had reasonably calmed down since then, quietly accepting his fate. He even started joking about it, telling his sister not to go through his stuff after he was gone, to donate his collection of Nell and Infinite paraphernalia, and entrusting Woohyun with the secret of his stash of junk food under his bed.

Nowadays, he always slept and rarely ate. Woohyun would bring strawberries, just to urge him to eat something. Sometimes, he would simply sit on a bench outside in the gardens, wrapped up in a blanket, staring into the sky. Most of the time, he would just sleep wherever, in his room, on the couch in the living room, even on the garden bench outside.

The idol approached the bed and gently slipped in underneath the blankets with his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around the older’s waist. He placed a hand on the other's chest, feeling his heartbeat; it was a habit he had developed recently. For the next couple of minutes, he simply watched Sunggyu, taking in his chubby cheeks, his button nose, and his thin pink lips. Woohyun wanted to imprint his image in his brain so he would never forget.

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed there, staring at Sunggyu, but eventually, the older stirred. His tiny eyes fluttered open and blinked for a few moments before his lips quirked into an affectionate smile upon seeing who was in bed with him.

“Hi, handsome,” he greeted.

Woohyun forced a smile. “Hi, beautiful.”

Sunggyu didn’t even protest at the endearment, simply snuggled closer to Woohyun. He had stopped pretending that he didn’t like Woohyun’s cheesy pick-up lines and displays of affection. It was both a blessing and a curse.

“I have a day off this weekend,” the idol said, running a hand through Sunggyu’s thinning hair. “What do you want to do? Name it, and I’ll do everything I can to make sure you get to do it.”

Sunggyu appeared to contemplate for a few minutes, his fingers playing with Woohyun’s lock necklace.

“Let’s go on a date,” he said, smiling widely. “Like our first date. Let’s watch a movie, eat out, and then go to the Han River.”

It was during that moment that Woohyun realized that they haven’t gone on a proper date since their spontaneous one during New Year’s. He had promised Sunggyu at the time that he would try to make sure that they did… but, he had just been too busy with his solo debut and it slipped his mind. And now… Now, he would make sure to fulfill that promise and many more.

The younger smiled at his adorable boyfriend’s hopeful expression. “Call!”

Sunggyu buried his nose into Woohyun’s chest, inhaling deeply and releasing a sigh. “You smell nice.”

“Hmm… You too.” The older always smelled like coconut. He blamed it on his favorite shampoo.

Another silence.

“Do you regret loving me Woohyun?”

The question clenched painfully at the younger’s heart, yet he simply kissed the older’s forehead. “Never. Not one moment. Not one second.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I told you to stop saying sorry.”

“I don’t want to leave you.”

 _Then don’t leave me,_ Woohyun wanted to say, but bit his lip, instead. It was a touchy subject for both of them. He wanted the older to keep getting treatment, to continue fighting to live.

But, he also knew that Sunggyu was tired… so very tired of the hospital, the painful chemotherapy, and the aftermath of vomiting, hair loss, and weakness. He was tired of making his sister and her husband stay up nights to watch him at the hospital, sacrificing their own married life to take care of him. He was tired of making his parents work to the bone and be away from him just to fund his treatments. He was tired of making Woohyun worry, cry, and sacrifice rest days just to spend time with him, risking his career every time he had to rush to the hospital to be by Sunggyu’s side.

“Don’t you have schedules today?” the older asked.

“Not until later,” Woohyun responded.

“Then you should be resting.”

“I’m resting right now.”

Sunggyu slowly lifted himself up to look at the younger in the eye. “You’re always here.”

“Don’t you want me around?” Woohyun teased, grinning.

The older flashed him a stern look of disappointment. “I don’t want you to halt your life, just because mine will be ending soon.”

The reminder stabbed through Woohyun’s heart. “I-I’m not halting my life.”

“Woohyun, you’re here every day now. It doesn’t matter what time of day, morning, afternoon, or late evening, you’re here. It’s not that I don’t want you around, it’s just you’re acting like-.”

“Like I’m going to lose my boyfriend soon?” the younger couldn’t help but reply, bitterly. “Like any day could be his last day and there’s no guarantee that I’ll be by his side?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Sunggyu said, defensively. “You have responsibilities to your career and to yourself too. I know you want to be with me all the time, but you have to take care of yourself too.”

“Whether you want me around or not, I’m still going to be here and you can’t stop me.”

The older bit on his lip as he looked down. “I don’t want you to stop living just because of me,” he whispered.

“Then let’s live together.” Woohyun lifted his chin with his fingers, flashing him the most tender and loving look, wanting nothing more than to convey his feelings with his eyes. He hoped Sunggyu could see them. “Let me live my life showing you how much I love you. Please.”

Sunggyu stared back at him, and the younger could see his resolve crumbling. When Sunggyu simply laid back down and snuggled closer to his chest, he knew the older had given in.

Despite his words, he knew that Sunggyu wanted him around. He needed him. And Woohyun needed him too.

 

+++++++

 

True to his word, that very weekend, Woohyun took his boyfriend out to the movies, at the same movie theater they went to on their first date. He borrowed one of his manager’s cars this time, just so they didn’t have to be their chauffeur on their day off too.

Just for the heck of it, they chose a superhero movie with plenty of explosions and action scenes more than an actual plot. And because the movie had been out for weeks, there weren’t many people in the theater. They fed each other popcorn and exchanged sweet pecks in between scenes.

The movie ended and the two headed for the exit, arm-in-arm, Sunggyu leaning heavily against Woohyun. They passed by the same photo booth, and this time, it was Sunggyu who begged to try it. When the photos printed, Sunggyu handed them over to Woohyun.

“You gave me the last one,” he said. “So, it’s only right that you take this one.”

Woohyun couldn’t deny him that, so he pocketed the photos and proceeded to drive them to the restaurant for dinner. The ride was silent, except for the radio playing.

Sunggyu looked out the window, humming along with to whatever song was on.

“Woohyun?”

“Hmmm?”

“We passed the restaurant we ate at last time. Where are we going?”

The younger only flashed him a mysterious smile. “I thought I’d take you somewhere a bit more… special.”

Sunggyu furrowed his eyebrows in confusion at him. “Where?”

That place ended up being Boohyun’s restaurant. Woohyun parked and led the older to the entrance, where they were welcomed by Woohyun’s brother himself and brought to an already ready table.

“Why is it so empty?” Sunggyu asked, looking around as Boohyun laid the food on their table.

It was dinner time and Boohyun’s restaurant was popular, so it was always full. The last time they were here for Sunggyu’s birthday, the older had prepared a private room for them, so they wouldn’t have to be swept up in the hustle and bustle of the main dining area. Now, there wasn’t even any need for that. Aside from Boohyun and two trusted servers, there was no one else in the restaurant.

“Your boyfriend here asked me for a favor, so I closed the restaurant for the night,” the elder replied, grinning. “How have you been, Sunggyu?”

“I’m… fine.”

He sounded unsure and a little embarrassed so Boohyun sympathetically patted his back before turning to his quiet younger brother.

“I’ll leave you to it, dongsaeng. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”

And with that, Woohyun’s brother left them alone.

Woohyun wasted no time in grilling the meat, his face serious and lacking the normally greasy smile he bore. Sunggyu silently picked at the side dishes, the younger could feel his eyes on him the entire time. Woohyun wanted to reassure him, but for some reason, he couldn’t find the right words or any words at all. So, he simply continued grilling.

“Woohyun?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you okay?” Sunggyu’s voice sounded so worried that it made Woohyun’s heart ache.

He finally looked up to meet the older’s eyes - they were filled with concern.

“You’ve been quiet since we left the movies. Is there something wrong?” he continued to ask.

Woohyun could only stare at him for a few moments… his beautiful and handsome boyfriend… the person he held so close to his heart… the person he loved and was going to lose sometime soon…

Sunggyu must have seen his apprehension and sadness… the older could so easily read him.

“You know, some cancer-stricken people who stop chemo sometimes live up to 3 months to a year before they-.”

“Can we please not talk about this?” Woohyun snapped, unintentionally.

He saw a flash of hurt cross Sunggyu’s eyes. The older lowered his head, biting his lips.

Woohyun immediately felt guilty for his words. He had to confess, Sunggyu’s poor attempt to make him feel better didn’t really do much except remind him of the inevitable. Still, he couldn’t blame the older for trying. So, he reached across the table to place his hand over Sunggyu’s left hand that wasn’t holding the chopsticks.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you,” he said, in a gentle tone. He lifted the hand to his lips and pressed a loving kiss to the knuckles. “I just… I want to give you a wonderful night. I want to make it up to you. I’m sorry, jagiya, I didn’t mean it, forgive your stupid boyfriend.”

Sunggyu cleared his throat. “I get it. I understand. Sorry.”

The older couldn’t look at him now and Woohyun wanted to smack himself for being so insensitive. He was supposed to make Sunggyu happy. Yet, his own worries and unhappiness at the situation were preventing him from doing so.

In a way, Sunggyu had been right when he told Woohyun that he had stopped living his life. Sunggyu may be dying but he was still alive. Yet, Woohyun kept acting like he was already grieving his death.

He suddenly felt very, very, very, very guilty.

“Gyu?”

“Hmm?”

“Look at me.”

The elder lifted his head to meet Woohyun’s loving smile.

“I love you,” he said, before pressing kisses to the hand again. “My handsome, beautiful, and so very sexy boyfriend.”

At that, Sunggyu chuckled before removing his hand from Woohyun’s grasp and pinching his nose. “Stop trying to butter me up, I forgave you already. Now, hurry up with the meat, I’m hungry.”

The pinch hurt but Woohyun laughed anyway. “As you wish.”

Then, he winked, making Sunggyu blush.

The rest of dinner went with a much lighter atmosphere. They chatted, flirted, and fed each other from across the table. Sunggyu didn’t eat much, but he was smiling and laughing again. He looked happy.

The song playing in the background changed and Sunggyu suddenly paused, his ear perked to listen to the first few bars of the song. His eyes lit up.

“Woohyun, this is Nell’s ‘Stay’!” he said excitedly. “It’s my favorite!”

He started singing along and Woohyun could only watch him in adoration and joy. Sunggyu’s voice was beautiful… unique… like flowing water that Woohyun would gladly drown in.

It occurred to him at that moment that because their relationship was not exactly typical, they didn’t get to do many things that most couples got to do. Their public dates were rare, due to caution that someone might see Woohyun. They couldn’t hold hands because people would stare at two men holding hands. Even if Woohyun would do a lot of skinship with his members and other idols for the sake of variety, it wasn’t as simple nor as acceptable off-camera and in public. And they haven’t…

“Sunggyu.”

The older paused in his singing. “Yes?”

Wordlessly, Woohyun got up and walked over to the other’s side, then held out his hand. “Will you dance with me, Kim Sunggyu?”

The older looked as if he was about to protest, but stopped. He simply looked at Woohyun with something akin to wonder before smiling and nodding, slipping his hand into the younger’s.

Woohyun led him into an open space in between tables and took his arms and wrapped them around his own neck. He then wrapped his arms around Sunggyu’s waist and began to sway them.

“I realized we haven’t danced at all since we started dating,” he said in answer to the older’s questioning gaze. “So, I thought why not seize the opportunity?” He pulled him closer. “I’m so sorry about my bad mood. It’s just… I’ve been stressed and… I’m sad… and angry… and afraid… and-.”

He was interrupted by Sunggyu’s lips on his, the older giving him a short kiss.

“For tonight,” the older whispered against his lips, his voice pleading. “Can we pretend that I’m not dying? Just for tonight, can we pretend that we have a lot of time together? That we have the rest of our lives together? That we can get married in America, honeymoon in Europe, and adopt two kids named Sunwoo and Minah? Please, Woohyun?”

Woohyun’s heart started to hurt as Sunggyu pleaded with him. And as he looked at Sunggyu, he couldn’t deny him what he wanted, so the younger smiled.

“Where should we live?” he asked, playing along. “Should we find a nice house in Gangnam? Or maybe a condo in Yongsan?”

The smile in Sunggyu’s face widened, his eyes shining brightly. “Should we get a dog?”

“Aren’t you afraid of dogs?”

“I might get over it if we get one. But, maybe a small one? Big dogs are scary.”

As the song neared its end and a new one began, Woohyun and Sunggyu continued with their little game. For a moment, they forgot that time was against them. As they exchanged dreams about their future, they forgot that those dreams may never come true.

But, in that moment, swaying to the music in each other’s arms, they had all the time in the world.

When Woohyun drove them to the Han River for the finale of their date, both were in much lighter moods. They held hands and sent loving glances towards each other. Woohyun found a deserted spot and parked, before they both moved to the backseat of the car so they could cuddle.

With the faint music playing from the radio, they were wrapped up in each other’s arms, silently watching the river, the lights of Seoul bouncing off the still water.

Woohyun felt his heart feel at peace, but there was also a tinge of apprehension and anxiety. He couldn’t help it. He had never been so afraid in his entire life.

“Jagiya? What are you thinking?” Sunggyu’s voice broke through his thoughts.

“About how handsome you are,” he replied, with a flirtatious grin.

Sunggyu made a face at him. “Then how come you look like I died already?”

Woohyun’s grin faded, as he was yet again, reminded of the inevitable reality. “Sunggyu, please.”

The older maneuvered himself to sit on Woohyun’s lap and tuck his head on the younger’s shoulder.

“Sorry, sorry,” he hummed, before pressing a light kiss to Woohyun’s neck. “Should I distract you?”

At Woohyun’s questioning look, the older simply grinned before capturing the younger’s lips in his.

As with all of their kisses, Woohyun’s body exploded with warmth and joy. He felt his apprehension and anxiety slowly fade, as he placed all his attention on the kiss, feeling Sunggyu’s soft lips, tasting them, drowning in everything that was Sunggyu.

The older gently pulled away from their kiss, but kept their face close. He looked into Woohyun’s eyes before timidly asking, “Will you… stay the night with me tonight?”

Woohyun’s eyes widened in surprise. He had never stayed the night at Sunggyu’s before. Even if he wanted to, Sunghee wouldn’t allow it; she was a little old-fashioned in that way.

Sunggyu seemed to read his mind as he continued, “I’ll talk to Noona. You know, she lets me get away with a lot of things these days. So… will you? Please?”

The younger hesitated. He did have a few schedules tomorrow, but they didn’t start until the afternoon. The managers would most likely be unhappy about it, but as long as Woohyun didn’t actually miss the schedule, maybe they wouldn’t mind.

“I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

How could he say “no” to Sunggyu when he looked so cute, cheeks flushed as he pouted with those lips made swollen by Woohyun’s ministrations?

He leaned his forehead against the older’s. “I’ll text my managers tonight and ask them to pick me up and the car tomorrow.”

At Sunggyu’s wide grin and launching at his lips again, Woohyun knew it was worth it. As long as he got to see the older smile like that, it was all worth it.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” Sunggyu whispered in between kisses.

Woohyun could swear that his heart would explode from the amount of love and affection he was receiving at that moment. It was almost like… Sunggyu was making sure he had more than enough fill of his love and affection. But, Woohyun doubted he could ever truly have enough of it.

 

+++++++

 

As the days and weeks went by, Sunggyu continued to get weaker and weaker.

Mrs. Kim and Mr. Kim had left Jeonju to temporarily move in at Sunghee and Minkyu’s home. Woohyun saw them every time he came over. He and Mrs. Kim would bond and talk about one thing or another. He and Mr. Kim would politely exchange pleasantries, but the cold looks had stopped. It was like the older man had given up trying to be intimidating to his son’s boyfriend. After all, he had proven his feelings true; he had not left Sunggyu.

Woohyun did his best to fulfill his promises of taking his boyfriend out on dates. There were times when Sunggyu felt great and had enough energy, so he would willingly go. They would go to the movies, eat out somewhere, and Woohyun once managed to convince Mr. and Mrs. Kim to let him take Sunggyu to Lotte World (they both wore masks the entire time, so there were no chances of sneaking kisses, but the content happy smile on Sunggyu’s face on their way home was worth it).

However, there were also times when Sunggyu felt too weak and had no energy to move about. During these times, they would opt for watching movies at home or simply sitting outside in the garden, talking. Whenever Sunggyu was feeling particularly clingy, Woohyun would stay the night, despite the protests and displeasures of his managers who had to pick him up the next morning for schedules.

Infinite knew what was going on and bless their heart, they were as supportive as ever, even if their ways were unconventional.

During practice, Dongwoo allowed a few more breaks than usual, and the maknae line would make sure Woohyun had water and snacks. When Woohyun would blank out or frown during broadcasts, Hoya would make jokes on the other members’ expense, which would make Woohyun laugh and in turn, make viewers and fans alike believe that everything was okay (although a few perceptive eyes weren’t fooled; it was a hot topic in the fan cafes for weeks to come). They would also send along a few snacks and gifts of fruit to Sunggyu’s household whenever they could.

His brothers were sympathetic, and once again, Woohyun was thankful to have such a group by his side.

But, despite all attempts to make him happy, Sunggyu’s depression had gotten worse and worse. He would smile for Woohyun or his family, but when he thought they weren’t looking, he would have this faraway look, his lips set in a permanent frown. There were days when he would only have one meal, and not even the strawberries Woohyun brought could get him to eat.

The inevitable was coming, yet the idol was still in denial that it was happening.

When Woohyun visited that one fateful day, Mrs. Kim directed him to the garden where Sunggyu was spending his afternoon. Summer was almost upon them. Yet, the older was wrapped in a blanket, despite the warm sunny afternoon.

Woohyun gently placed a hand on the elder’s shoulder, which made Sunggyu look up to see his company.

“Hi,” Woohyun greeted with a smile.

“Hi,” Sunggyu returned as he scooted to make space for the younger to sit so he could lay his head on his shoulders.

“Do you want to do something today?” Woohyun asked, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“No, I’m tired today,” Sunggyu answered.

For a while, they stayed like that in silence, watching the sky, the butterflies hovering over the flowers, and the random birds chirping above them. From afar, they could see the tall buildings of Seoul’s metropolitan area, but the noises of the bustling city didn’t reach them. It was peaceful, so it was no wonder that Sunggyu liked being out here.

All of a sudden, Woohyun felt something wet trickle on his shirt, and he looked down to see silent tears falling from his boyfriend’s eyes. He was alarmed at the sight.

“Gyu? What’s wrong?” He lifted a hand to wipe the tears away.

“I’m afraid, Woohyun,” the older confessed as he started to tremble. “I’m so afraid.”

His arm around Sunggyu tightened. “I know. It’s okay. I’m here.”

Woohyun wasn’t sure if his words were comforting or could even ease the fear in the older. How could he offer words of comfort when he himself was frightened?

“Don’t cry, Gyu,” he soothed. “I don’t like it when you cry. Tell me, what can I do, hmm? Should I kiss you?” He pressed a kiss to the older’s lips, short but sweet. “What do you want? Tell me, and I’ll do everything I can to give it to you.”

That offer made Sunggyu pause. Woohyun always said that to him now and he did everything he could to fulfill the older’s every wish, and he wasn’t about to stop now. He would do everything to make sure Sunggyu was happy and content.

The older bit his lip in contemplation and Woohyun waited patiently for his answer.

“I want…” he started, but then hesitated, so the younger flashed him an encouraging smile.

“What is it, jagiya?” he prompted.

Sunggyu bit his lip again before answering, “I-I… I want to go home.”

Now, Woohyun was confused. “But, Gyu, you are home.”

Sunggyu shook his head, tears falling from his eyes again as he looked back at Woohyun with pleading eyes and trembling lips. “N-No… I want to go home… to Jeonju.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: **on the floor sobbing** Please don't hate me!!!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: **on the floor sobbing**

Woohyun stood nervously in front of his CEO. Lee Jungyeop was a kind boss, but a tough businessman. And Woohyun’s request was definitely not beneficial for business.

“Woohyun, you are aware that Infinite is preparing for your summer concert series?” the CEO questioned the idol.

The younger swallowed and nodded. “Yes, sajangnim.”

“So… why are you asking for two weeks off?”

Woohyun swallowed, but he gathered his nerves. “I need to go to Jeonju.”

“What’s in Jeonju?”

“I…”

He considered lying, but eventually squared his shoulders, deciding that the truth was the best here. He had to swallow his pride. His boss was a kind man… surely, he would understand?

“I want to accompany my boyfriend, sir.” He forced his voice to remain steady. “It’s… It’s his request and I want to be there for him.”

Jungyeop ran a tired hand through his hair and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was stressed, Woohyun could tell, so asking this of him almost made him feel guilty. Almost.

“I knew it was a bad idea to let you date,” the boss mumbled, and somehow, that hurt Woohyun’s feelings. “You’re distracted.”

“Sir, please, I need this time to be with Sunggyu,” Woohyun pleaded.

“Do you know what you could accomplish in those two weeks? Hours and hours of perfecting your choreography and vocals.”

“I know, sir. I know it very well. But those hours, I can spend them with someone important to me… before I lose them for good. I… everyone has accepted that he might not last very long. I just… I need this time to be with him.”

The CEO sighed in regret. “I’m aware of your… situation, Woohyun, and I sympathize, I really do. But, you're still an idol here. You have responsibilities and you’ve been neglecting them. If he were a member of your direct family, I can let you go, but seeing as he’s a secret boyfriend, this will be even harder to cover up. What explanation will we give to the press, the fans, if you are to disappear to Jeonju for two weeks?”

“Sir, please, I’m begging you!” And with that, Woohyun got on his knees and prostrated himself on the floor, face against the cold tiles.

“What… Woohyun, get up! Hyoan, get him up!”

He felt arms wrap around him, trying to force him to get up, but he refused to budge from his position. He knew his back would hurt, but he would stay in this position for hours if it got him what he wanted... what he needed.

He heard the door open and several footsteps file in.

“What are you all doing here?!” said Jungyeop’s exasperated voice.

“Sajangnim, we’re here to back up Woohyun’s request,” Dongwoo’s voice responded.

Woohyun’s heart began beating fast against his chest. His members, even though he told them he could handle it, were there to support him.

Meanwhile, Jungyeop groaned. “Dongwoo-yah, what are you doing?”

“As leader of Infinite, I take full responsibility for anything that happens during the summer concert series, should any issues arise. But, sir, please… Let Woohyun take some time off to be with Sunggyu-shii.”

“We’ll work a hundred times as hard to make up for his absence,” added Hoya, the member usually in charge of their dance practice routines.

“You realize that Woohyun is your main vocal and he carries the majority of vocal parts in your songs? What if you get called for a performance? Or to sing during an interview while Woohyun is gone? Then what?”

“Well, Dongwoo-hyung has been working very hard on extending his range to match Woohyun-hyung’s,” piped Sungjong. “And Sungyeol-hyung, L-hyun, Hoya-hyung, and I have been working on our falsettos. We’ll be fine without Woohyun-hyung.”

“Besides, sajangnim, you know that aside from L, Woohyun is the most popular member,” Sungyeol joked. “This gives the rest of us our time to shine too! Now, I get to compete with L as the most handsome member while Woohyun is gone!”

“Keep dreaming,” Myungsoo retorted, playfully.

“See? It’s a great opportunity!”

“Actually, sir, I think Sungyeol may have a point." Surprisingly, that was Hyoan's voice.

Sungyeol let out a "Whoop!" in triumph.

"We can use this opportunity to showcase the other members’ vocal talents too," continued the manager. “The boys know very well what people say about them on the internet, that only half the members can sing and the other half are just there for visuals. This is an opportunity to prove them wrong, sir. So, please, let Woohyun have this.”

There was silence from the CEO.

“And what will we tell the fans? The press? Or anyone who asks?”

“That Woohyun is taking personal time off. He just finished promotions for his solo. He’s been working hard for months. He deserves it,” answered Dongwoo.

Another silence.

On the floor, Woohyun’s muscles were aching from his position, but he refused to get up. Everything his members said to convince their CEO touched him, greatly. He knew he was putting them in a very tight position because yes, as the main vocal, he had the majority of the singing lines in their songs. And he did have the highest vocal range among them. If he left and Infinite was asked to perform while he was gone, they would have to re-arrange the songs, and that would be a pain.

So his band mates saying all these things and creating solutions for them… it really touched Woohyun’s heart.

“Woohyun, get up, please,” Jungyeop finally said, his voice kinder this time.

The idol remained in position.

A sigh from the CEO. And finally…

“Ten days, that is all I can allow you.”

Tears sprung to Woohyun’s eyes as he lifted his head to look at his CEO, who was now standing and looking over at him. Behind him, he saw his band mates, bodies bent in 90-degree bows towards their boss.

Jungyeop sent him a kind smile. “When your members and even your manager shows his support, how can I refuse? But, only 10 days, got that? No more. You are to return here on the 10th day, no matter what.”

“Thank you! Thank you, sir! Thank you!

Woohyun bowed his head again against the floor again, and Jungyeop complained that he was going to leave marks on his perfectly flawless forehead and that would be bad for his image.

The smile on Woohyun’s face didn’t waver, as his heart filled with relief.

 

+++++++

 

Mr. and Mrs. Kim left for Jeonju a week earlier than everyone to ready the house for Sunggyu’s arrival.

The morning they were to leave, Geonam drove Woohyun to the house with his one suitcase, a bag of food and snacks from his members, and a list full of reminders to at least practice his vocals and choreography when he had the chance. Thanking his manager, the idol moved to exit the car when Geonam stopped him.

“Whatever happens… you know we’re here for you, right?” he said, sympathetically.

Feeling his heart warm up, Woohyun smiled in gratitude. “I know, hyung. Thank you. And I know Gyu-hyung appreciates it too.”

“I’m not a religious man, but my wife is. I asked her to pray for him… and for you.”

Woohyun wasn’t either, but nowadays, he felt like he became one. So, he appreciated the thought of his manager. “Thank you, hyung.”

He bid Geonam goodbye and dragged his stuff to the front porch. Minkyu let him into the house where his wife and brother-in-law were waiting with suitcases and duffle bags. Sunggyu was seated in a wheelchair, dozing as he hugged his Hamtaro plushie.

After a quick kiss to his boyfriend’s cheek, Woohyun helped Minkyu and Sunghee take all of their luggage to the couple’s car. Then, they wheeled a now-awake Sunggyu and helped him into the backseat of the car. As soon as the wheelchair was placed neatly in the back with their things, they were off.

Minkyu drove, with Sunghee on the passenger seat next to him. Woohyun was with Sunggyu at the back. The drive was approximately 2 hours and 20 minutes, not including stopovers for lunch and bathroom breaks. Sunggyu was awake for half of it, watching videos with Woohyun on the latter’s phone. He spent the other half sleeping on Woohyun’s shoulder.

The ride was mostly quiet except for the tunes from the radio. Occasionally, Woohyun’s song “Nodding” would play and the two older couple at the front would tease him about it.

When they reached the border of the city, Sunggyu stirred from his sleep. Slowly, he lifted his head from the younger’s shoulder and looked outside, blinking rapidly. Then, his lips broke into the biggest smile that Woohyun had seen from him in weeks, a smile that he missed so much.

“Noona, can we pass by my school? I want to show Woohyun,” he said, excitedly.

Of course, Sunghee couldn’t say “no” so she gave Minkyu directions on the route. Every time Sunggyu saw something familiar, he would point it out to Woohyun while telling a story from his memory. It was like he had a sudden burst of energy, just from looking outside.

It was definitely beneficial to bring Sunggyu home.

“Woohyunnie, look, that’s my school!” He excitedly pointed to a large building. “And look! Do you see that tteokboki stand? I used to eat there with my band! I wonder if you’ll get to meet them while you’re here.” He appeared to contemplate the matter seriously as they passed the school. “Nah, maybe not. I don’t want them to know I have a famous boyfriend. They might get jealous.”

He grinned, teasingly at the quiet younger who couldn’t help but grin back and press an affectionate kiss to his forehead.

“You’re so cute,” he commented. “You can introduce me to your friends, if you want.”

“Nah.” Sunggyu wrapped his arms tightly around Woohyun as he tucked his head against his chest. “I want you all to myself while you’re here.”

He lifted his head to flash a cute mischievous smile at the younger. Woohyun’s heart melted.

 

+++++++

 

The Kims’ Jeonju home was a typical, modern-day Korean home, with a tinge of traditional as well. It had a wooden gate and a rocky path leading to the entrance of the house. Sliding doors opened immediately into a well-furnished living room with sofas and a T.V. set. A piano was in a corner against the wall next to another pair of glass sliding doors that led to a garden outside. The kitchen was also modern as well as the dining room attached to it. The house in total had only 3 rooms: the master bedroom, Sunghee’s room, and Sunggyu’s room.

So, naturally, Woohyun got to stay in Sunggyu’s room.

Reminiscent of the older’s bedroom in Seoul, the walls were filled with posters of Nell, lacking Infinite posters because Sunggyu had been away. There was a neat study table, a bookshelf brimming with books, and another shelf displaying awards from school. Framed on the walls were certificates of the older’s achievements. There were also frames of photos of Sunggyu and his friends.

“Wow, hyung, when Sunghee-noona told me I have a smart boyfriend, I didn’t know he’s practically a genius!” he commented as he examined the awards and certificates. “Ahhh, this gives me more reasons to brag about you to Umma!”

Sitting up on the bed, Sunggyu flushed in embarrassment, but he was smiling as he watched the younger flit about his bedroom.

While Woohyun unpacked their things for them, the older watched him from his spot, occasionally giving out instructions on where he wanted something. Woohyun didn’t really bring much, mostly just his clothing, but Sunggyu had brought almost everything in his bedroom in Seoul. The younger dutifully arranged all of his clothes in the closets and drawers, arranged his Infinite albums (Woohyun’s solo album was placed on display, of course), and tacked some of their printed photos on the walls.

“What about this box, hyung?” he asked, picking up a pink cardboard box.

“Can you put that under the bed?”

So, Woohyun did.

When everything looked in place, he clapped his hands and pumped his fist in the air in victory. “I’m done!”

On the bed, Sunggyu smiled and clapped. “Good job, jagiya! Come get your reward.”

Grinning, Woohyun climbed up on the bed and settled next to his older boyfriend, who immediately pecked his cheek. The younger pouted in disappointment.

“Is that it?” he sulked. “I did a lot of work! I even got a paper cut from the photos!”

Sunggyu laughed and kissed his lips. The elder liked to kiss him a lot these days. Woohyun didn’t even need to cajole him into any, he initiated all of them.

Woohyun ran his eyes over the older’s face. His skin was pale and almost gray. His hair was thin, limp, and dry to the touch. His tiny eyes were glassy, with prominent dark circles under them. And his lips… his sweet lips that Woohyun loved to kiss were pale and chapped.

Nonetheless, he still thought Sunggyu was the most beautiful man he had ever laid eyes on.

“We should rest,” Sunggyu said, oblivious to Woohyun's staring. “Umma says we’re taking you out to get bibimbap for dinner. We have the best bibimbap in all of Korea! And I asked Appa and Umma to take us to the Hanok Village tomorrow. It will be so fun, Woohyunnie!”

The older happily snuggled up to him, babbling excitedly about everything he wanted to show Woohyun in his hometown. Seeing this Sunggyu really brought the joy back in Woohyun’s heart; he wished he could see Sunggyu like this for a much longer time.

“Woohyunnie?”

“Hmm?” He looked down with a fond smile at the older leaning his head against his chest.

“Thank you for being here,” Sunggyu said. “I’m really happy.”

“Me too.” And Woohyun meant it; seeing the person he loved so much being happy made him happy. “I’m sorry I only have ten days with you.”

Sunggyu buried his nose against his chest. “Ten days is more than enough,” he responded in a low voice. “I’m just happy you’re here.”

 

+++++++

 

True to Sunggyu’s promise, the Kims took him out to bibimbap that night, at a restaurant they frequented. They asked for a corner table so Sunggyu could lean against the wall, and Woohyun could be partially hidden from the rest of the restaurant.

As was normal lately, Sunggyu only had a few bites before pushing his bowl towards Woohyun to finish. He spent the rest of the meal watching his family eat, pitching in to their conversations every now and then.

Dinner was jovial. Mr. and Mrs. Kim were thrilled to have both of their children home after so long of being apart.

That night, as they cuddled under the blankets, Sunggyu thanked Woohyun again for coming with them to Jeonju.

“I’m glad I can show you this part of myself,” he said to the younger, a content smile gracing his pale lips.

Woohyun smiled back. “And I’m glad for the chance to see it all,” he replied.

The next day, they took him to Jeonju’s infamous Hanok Village. Woohyun had no choice but to wear a mask to avoid being recognized. He even styled his hair differently, wore the plainest clothing he brought, and went bare-faced (Sunggyu preferred him without all the makeup anyway).

Pushing Sunggyu's wheelchair, they strolled down the ancient cobbled streets, occasionally stopping to take photos. He was a little nervous at first, his eyes often wandering in anxiety that a fan would see him.

Eventually, he relaxed. There were many tourists in the area, all preoccupied with the sights and taking photos to pay attention to the family with a wheelchair-bound member.

They had lunch at a café, watched a couple of street performances, and strolled some more. By mid-afternoon, Sunggyu was already dozing, so they decided to stop and relax in one of the village gardens before heading home.

Sunghee wanted to buy souvenirs for her Seoul friends and asked Woohyun to come along. The latter declined, saying that he would stay to watch the older. Mrs. Kim stayed behind with them, while Mr. Kim and Minkyu went with the younger woman.

Woohyun sat against a tree, the older’s head on his lap as he napped, the younger’s fingers threading through the other’s thin hair. He and Mrs. Kim made small talk about the village, occasionally checking on Sunggyu.

They all had an unspoken fear now whenever Sunggyu took his naps, which the older always rolled his eyes at.

“Woohyun-ah?” Mrs. Kim called out to him.

“Yes, Mrs. Kim?” Woohyun looked attentively at the older woman.

“I just want to say… thank you.” The older woman smiled at him. “For being here with Sunggyu. I’ve never seen him so happy.” She placed a hand over the idol’s, affectionately. “In another life, if you and Sunggyu ever meet and fall in love again, I still give you my blessing.”

Woohyun was stunned, yet touched at her words. “Thank you… That means so much to me! I… I only wish…”

He looked back down sadly at the still slumbering Sunggyu, his hands instinctively going to the older’s chest to feel him breathe. Mrs. Kim followed his gaze and sighed sadly.

“We all wish for the same thing,” she said, wistfully. “I wish nothing more than for my son to live a long and happy life, making the music that he loves so much. I wouldn’t have even minded if he became an idol. As long as he’s alive.” She sighed again, before smiling at her son, fondly. “But, I’m glad that we at least have him home with us now.”

They sat in silence, watching Sunggyu, both occupied in their own thoughts. Sometime later, Mrs. Kim stood up and brushed off the dirt from her pants.

“Aish, what’s taking those three so long?” she mumbled, looking in the direction of the shops. “Woohyun-ah, will you stay here and watch Gyu? I’ll just go see what’s taking them so long.”

The idol agreed with no hesitation, and soon, it was just him and Sunggyu left in the garden.

There were a few people around, but they were preoccupied with posing and taking photos in their rented hanboks. No one paid the two men under the large flowering tree any attention.

Left to his own thoughts, Woohyun played with Sunggyu’s hair, running his fingers through the thin, dark strands. He lightly caressed the chubby cheeks, squishing them a little before moving this thumb to touch the pale lips.

Sunggyu stirred. With a soft groan, he opened his eyes and blinked up wearily at Woohyun, who smiled at him.

“Good sleep?” he asked.

“Yes.” Sunggyu took Woohyun’s hand and pressed a kiss to it. “Why do I have such a handsome boyfriend?”

Woohyun laughed. “Really? So am I more handsome than Myungsoo then?”

“You’ve always been more handsome than Myungsoo,” Sunggyu acquiesced. “You have the prettiest eyes, the cutest nose, and your lips are sexy.”

Woohyun blushed at the compliments, which didn’t go unnoticed by the older. He chuckled lightly and kissed Woohyun’s hand again.

“So handsome,” he whispered against the skin. “I’ll be so jealous of whoever gets to date you next.”

That one statement made Woohyun’s body feel cold, despite the warm afternoon sun beating down on them. He couldn’t find a response. The older wasn’t looking for one.

“If you date a fan again, make sure they’re not a sasaeng, okay?” Sunggyu continued, absentmindedly looking at some faraway flowers, Woohyun’s hand still close to his lips. “If you date a celebrity, be careful when you’re out so paparazzi doesn't catch you in compromising positions. I don’t want you to go through a dating scandal, those are stressful, or any kind of scandal, really. Or I’m coming back to haunt you so you do it right, got it?”

“S-Sunggyu…” Woohyun finally found his voice, but not the rest of his words.

Slowly, Sunggyu sat up and maneuvered his way into Woohyun’s lap. He lowered the mask that the idol was still wearing to press a short, sweet kiss to his lips.

“But, don’t forget that I love you, okay?” he said, smiling as their eyes connected.

Woohyun tried to see if there was fear and apprehension in those eyes. He found none – only pure joy and contentment.

“I love you a lot,” Sunggyu continued.

“I... I love you a lot too,” Woohyun managed, forcing his voice to remain steady and pushing back the tears threatening to fall from his eyes. “I love you so much, Sunggyu.”

“I know you do.”

Without another word, Sunggyu fixed his mask to fit more firmly over his face before pressing himself closer to Woohyun, snuggling him tightly.

They remained in that position until Sunghee, Minkyu, and Mr. and Mrs. Kim returned.

If he had been paying more attention, Woohyun would have realized that that was the first sign.

 

+++++++

 

The next couple of days were pure bliss for Woohyun and Sunggyu. They would go out and the older showed the idol all his favorite places around the town, telling him stories about his childhood and early teen years.

Whenever they were home, Sunggyu liked to sit in his wheelchair just outside the sliding doors, looking at the garden. Often, he would just be smiling to himself, headphones on his ear as he hummed to whatever song was playing on his iPod. Sometimes, he would ask Woohyun to sit at the piano and play something. The latter would play Sunggyu’s favorite Infinite songs.

The older had also developed a new, somewhat annoying but also kind of cute habit of stealing the younger’s cellphone when he wasn’t looking. He would take random selcas or record little videos of himself nagging Woohyun, sweet talking Woohyun, and even scolding Woohyun.

One morning, Woohyun was out buying groceries with Mrs. Kim, not realizing that he didn’t have his phone with him. When they returned later and he went to check in on Sunggyu, who was napping in his room, he found his missing cellphone in his boyfriend’s clutches. The latter had recorded a video of himself singing the completed version of the song he wrote for Woohyun when he said “yes” to dating him. Woohyun saved that video in three different places.

The entire arrangement felt domestic; Woohyun felt like a true part of the Kim family. They had meals together, went out shopping together, watched T.V. together, and Woohyun played the piano and sang for them during the night before they retired to bed.

He cooked meals with Mrs. Kim and Sunghee, showing his prowess and skill in the kitchen.

He watched sports games with Mr. Kim and Minkyu, impressing them with his superior sports knowledge and gaining the older Kim’s respect whenever they rooted for the same team.

He stayed by Sunggyu’s side, assisting him and making sure he was comfortable and had what he needed. He slipped into bed with him every night, engaging in pillow talks, and exchanging good night kisses.

At the end of every day, he didn’t feel like Infinite’s Woohyun around them. He just felt like Nam Woohyun. And he loved the feelings of bliss and contentment that came with it.

Living with Sunggyu, even if it was only for 10 days, felt like a dream he never wanted to wake up from up.

But, as we all know, dreams could only last for so long. Eventually, we have to wake up to reality.

One day, they happened to run into an old high school bandmate of Sunggyu’s while out shopping and Sunggyu introduced them to each other, but said that his boyfriend had a cold so he could not remove his mask. The man was already a working professional, set to marry in the summer, and invited to Sunggyu to his wedding.

“If I’m still alive by then, I’ll definitely come,” he said, good-naturedly.

At the man’s embarrassed flush, Sunggyu only chuckled and thanked him for making his high school life memorable. The man promised to visit Sunggyu one of these days with their old band members before they parted, a little awkwardly.

“A shame that I probably won’t see them at all,” Sunggyu mused to himself, as he watched his old friend walk away.

It made Woohyun’s heart ache. That should have been the second sign. But, he failed to see it.

 

+++++++

 

The days flew by. They had already been in Jeonju exactly a week.

As soon as Sunggyu woke up that day, he was clingy to everyone.

He followed his mother everywhere (to the garden, the kitchen, or the front yard when she went to get the mail), backhugging her, and complimenting her beauty. The older woman would simply laugh and ask him if he wanted money, but they could see that she enjoyed her son’s attention.

He sat with his father, Minkyu, and Woohyun in the afternoon and watched a game with them, contributing to the conversation, and even allowed himself to lean into his father’s shoulder and nap during the commercials. Despite not really being a skinship type of man, Mr. Kim allowed it, a soft, affectionate smile grazing his lips. He even ruffled his son’s hair.

He bothered his sister while she was gardening in the backyard, teasing her, and bickering playfully about her choice of flowers to plant. Even if she looked irritated and about ready to pounce on her brother and tackle him to the ground, Sunghee’s eyes were smiling.

He sat down beside Minkyu and spilled every embarrassing memory and secret he had about his sister that had the older man almost rolling on the floor in laughter and taking notes for blackmail purposes. He even teased the older about finally having a baby and that if it was a boy, they should name it after him so he would grow up smart and an overall amazing human being like Sunggyu, himself. Minkyu made the oath to do so without consulting his wife.

And he was affectionate to Woohyun, more so than usual. He kissed the younger’s cheek whenever they passed each other, blatantly flirting with him in front of his parents, and hugging him every chance he got. He whispered sweet nothings in his ear that made Woohyun blush and stammer (so unlike him, but then again, Sunggyu had never been so bold before). He stole the younger’s phone again and didn’t give it back until dinnertime.

That night, Sunggyu picked at his dinner, barely eating, but entertained himself by chatting up a storm. His family wasn’t sure what to make of this suddenly enthusiastic Sunggyu, but they played along, glad to see him happy and smiling.

That night, he asked to be placed right in front of the sliding glass doors so he could look out into the night sky. As a nightly ritual, Woohyun played the piano, singing a few Infinite hits and eventually moving to classic Korean trot songs and ballads. Soon enough, the rest of the Kim family were joining in. From his spot near the window, Sunggyu laughed and sung along.

It was getting pretty late now and everyone was ready to turn in for the night.

“Actually, can Woohyun and I stay out here for a little longer?” Sunggyu asked as his family lined up to say good night to him. “I just want to watch the stars.”

An unusual request since Sunggyu loved sleeping, but none protested. As his parents wrapped their arms around him and kissed him good night, he prolonged the hugs a little longer.

“Appa, Umma, I love you both so much,” he said to them, as he dug his face into his mother's stomach. “I don’t know if I ever thanked you enough for everything you’ve done for me. I’m proud to be your son.”

His mother chuckled and ruffled his hair. “What’s gotten into you today? But, you know what? We’re proud you’re our son too.” She leaned down to kiss his forehead. “Don’t stay up too late, got that?”

“Yes, Umma.”

“Sleep well, son.”

“You too, Appa.”

When it was his sister’s turn, he messed up her hair. “Yah! What the heck, Gyu?!”

He just laughed and hugged her around the waist. “You’re the best noona ever, even if you’re annoying as hell.”

“Yah! This punk!” She pinched his cheek hard, then his nose before stomping away.

“Love you, noona!”

“Yeah, yeah, you weirdo dongsaeng!”

Minkyu followed after her, but not before giving Sunggyu a hug good night.

“Make sure she takes her vitamins, she forgets sometimes,” he told the older man, who promised he would.

Soon, he and Woohyun were alone. The younger had been quietly observing from his perch on the piano. Now, Sunggyu beckoned to him with a smile.

“Let’s look at the stars together, Woohyunnie.”

So, Woohyun pulled up a chair next to Sunggyu’s wheelchair. The older took his boyfriend’s arm and placed it over his own shoulders before laying his head on Woohyun’s while linking their hands together.

The younger wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, just quietly watching the stars, but it was nice… peaceful. He could smell Sunggyu’s favorite coconut-scented shampoo. He savored the moment.

“Woohyun?”

“Hmm?” He pressed a kiss to the older’s forehead. “What is it?”

Lifting his free hand, Sunggyu pointed to the sky. “Do you see that constellation? That’s called Ursa Major or the Big Dipper.”

Woohyun squinted – he didn’t really know stars, never really took an interest in astronomy but he tried his hardest to find the group of stars.

Beside him, Sunggyu laughed and took the younger’s free hand in his and traced the said constellation with it.

“Do you see it now?” he asked.

Woohyun nodded – it really did look like a dipper.

“Do you see that one little star underneath it?” Sunggyu took his hand again and used it to point to the said star.

Woohyun nodded again.

“That’s our star from now on.”

Confused, the younger looked down at his boyfriend – he was smiling, his eyes never straying from the star. Woohyun couldn’t help but grip his shoulder tighter; he hoped he wasn’t hurting the older, because Sunggyu tended to bruise so easily these days.

“So whenever you miss me, you can just look for our star and I’ll be right there, waiting for you to tell me everything that’s on your mind. You know I’ll listen,” the older continued.

“Y-You know… I can always just call you on your phone,” Woohyun joked.

The older flashed him a pointed look before chuckling and pressing a kiss to Woohyun’s neck. “Cute,” he commented.

He looked back at the dark sky, littered with stars. Back in Seoul, stars weren’t really that clear due to all the bright city lights. But, out here, they were as clear and brightly shining as diamonds.

“You know, the thing I like about stars is that no matter how much time has passed, they don’t move,” Sunggyu mused, still smiling. “They may look like they moved or changed positions, but it’s the Earth that’s moved. And when the Earth finishes its rotation around the sun, they’re still there, in the same exact spot. So I’ll be right there on that star, I won’t move, so you can easily find me when you need me.”

“Sunggyu… why are you talking like this?” Woohyun asked in a soft, frightened voice. He was shaking, his heart beating fast and painfully hard against his chest.

But, instead of answering, Sunggyu lifted his head and pressed his lips to Woohyun’s. The older responded, unable to stop the tears from forming in the corner of his eyes. Sunggyu kissed him gently, but thoroughly and passionately, his hand on Woohyun’s cheeks, wiping the tears away with his thumb.

When they finally pulled apart for air, Sunggyu didn’t move away, instead, pressing his forehead against the younger’s. Their breaths mingled from the close proximity, their eyes not leaving each other. Sunggyu looked at him, intensely, as if memorizing his face and imprinting it into his mind. Woohyun was doing the same.

“I’m sorry for making you cry,” the older said, kissing the tear tracks on the younger’s cheeks.

“Yah, what did I say about saying sorry?”

Sunggyu chuckled. “Never say sorry for being in your life,” he recited.

He paused again to look at Woohyun, his eyes roaming every inch of the younger’s face.

“So handsome,” he mumbled. “Whatever I did in my previous life, I must have saved a nation, because I still don’t know how someone like you managed to fall in love with someone like me.”

 “Hey, I can say the same,” Woohyun teased as he grinned. “It’s getting pretty late. We should go to bed.”

“A few more minutes?” Sunggyu pouted.

Woohyun couldn’t deny him. “Alright, 5 more minutes.”

“Can we sleep out here? I don’t want to be in my room tonight. I can’t see the stars from there.”

“Alright.”

They stayed in that same spot for ten minutes, Sunggyu pointing out different constellations to Woohyun, occasionally sneaking kisses to each other.

Finally, it was time to settle in for the night.

The couch wasn’t too big, but Sunggyu was slim and tiny and Woohyun wasn’t that big either, so they managed to squeeze in it together. Sunggyu was tucked into the crook of Woohyun’s arm, as he laid on his side, the younger on his back. They didn’t sleep instantly, instead, talking about nothing in particular, giving each other sweet little kisses in between sentences.

“I love you Nam Woohyun,” Sunggyu whispered against his lips. “I love you so much.”

The younger pecked his nose then his lips, smiling widely as he did so. “And I love you. So much.”

At some point, Woohyun started drifting off, the fatigue settling in, but Sunggyu was still wide awake. He could feel the older’s eyes on him.

“Woohyun?”

He opened his eyes to see Sunggyu watching him.

“Go to sleep, Gyu, it’s late,” he said to the older. “You need to rest.”

Sunggyu smiled, snuggling closer to the younger’s body. “Will you sing me to sleep, Woohyun? Please?”

Woohyun was tired, but he could not deny the older’s request.

“Of course, jagiya.” He kissed Sunggyu’s nose. “What do you want me to sing?”

“Time.”

So, Woohyun sung for his beloved.

 

**Did time stop again?**

**Is it going to fall asleep like this again?**

**While staring blankly outside**

**I’m thinking about you with my two eyes closed**

 

**Even though time is passing by again**

**I’m going back to that time again**

**Although I try hard to find everything in your memories**

 

**I’m crying by myself there but**

**As my tears stopped I’m laughing**

**But I’m waiting again**

**Until I can breathe again**

 

He paused to look down at the still awake Sunggyu.

The older smiled at him. “Don’t stop. Keep going, please.”

So Woohyun did.

 

**Even though time is passing by again**

**I’m going back to that time again**

**I’m trying hard to find everything in your memories**

 

Sunggyu began to sing along with him, his voice much softer and frail-sounding than Woohyun’s. But, the harmony of their melded voices was beautiful to Woohyun’s ear.

 

**I’m crying by myself there but**

**As my tears stopped I’m laughing but**

**After leaving you alone**

**I’m wandering around here with memories I can’t erase**

 

**Although I don’t have anything to say and I can’t hear you but**

**Even so if I can find you like this**

**I’ll wait for you now until time stops**

 

Sunggyu’s voice faded as he drifted off to sleep. But, Woohyun kept singing, wanting his voice to reach Sunggyu’s dreams.

 

**I know well that I can’t say anything**

**Even so I’m searching for you but**

**I know well you won’t change your thoughts but**

**I still can’t forget you**

 

**Although I don’t have anything to say and I can’t hear you but**

**Even so if I can find you like this**

**I’ll wait for you now until time stops**

 

**If I can find you, I’ll wait for you now, until I can breathe again**

 

Finishing his song, Woohyun placed a hand against Sunggyu’s chest, feeling his heart beating against his hand. The older looked peaceful, smiling in his sleep, his fingers clutching the front of Woohyun’s shirt.

Woohyun pressed his lips against his forehead. “I love you, Sunggyu.”

As he drifted off to sleep, he swore he could hear a faint whisper of “I love you, Woohyun.”

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Woohyun was awakened the next morning by the bright sunlight streaming through the glass windows and shining on his face. He blinked a few times in attempts to rid himself of sleep. His arm felt numb due to the weight on it all night, but nonetheless, he smiled at the handsome figure cuddled against him.

He brought his lips down to the cute ears, whispered a “Good morning, jagiya”, and a kiss on the organ’s tip.

The figure beside him didn’t move.

As was his habit, Woohyun brought a hand to Sunggyu’s chest, expecting to feel a heartbeat.

He felt none.

Woohyun froze, his own heart rapidly speeding up against his chest… so, unlike the one underneath his hand…

“S-Sunggyu?” he choked out, placing a hand on the older’s shoulders and shaking him. “Y-Yah… Wake up… T-This isn’t funny!... S-Sunggyu?!.... G-Gyu?!”

But Sunggyu didn’t respond, only continued to sleep.

Woohyun barely registered the tears falling from his eyes, barely felt his shaking hands, and his voice getting louder with each call of Sunggyu’s name. He placed his hands on the older’s cold cheeks and squished them because he hated it when Woohyun did that. He wouldn’t stand for it.

“S-Sunggyu! Come on! Wake up! Let’s make breakfast together! And then we can go to the park! Or eat at that bibimbap restaurant again! Let’s go to Poongnyeon Jegwa Bakery and get some of those choco pies! Sunggyu?! Kim Sunggyu! Yah! Open your eyes! Sunggyu, please! Jagiya, please!”

He couldn’t even hear the doors opening, the loud footsteps coming their way as the rest of the inhabitants of the house filed into the living room, awakened by his loud voice.

“Sunggyu?!”

That loud shriek came from Mrs. Kim. And then a loud cry of pain from Sunghee.

Woohyun didn’t know how he managed to pull away from his Sunggyu, but the next thing he knew, he was on the floor beside the couch, watching through his tears as Mrs. Kim held her son in her arms, crying and calling his name. Mr. Kim was crouched down beside the couch, holding his son’s hand in his, tears silently falling down his cheeks. Sunghee was hysterical in her husband’s arms.

Woohyun felt numb. He felt like time had stopped. He was drowning in his feelings of despair and grief. And he didn’t know if he would survive.

 

+++++++

 

He stayed in Jeonju for the customary 3 days of mourning. He texted and informed his managers, members, and family of what happened and received their condolences. He borrowed a suit from Minkyu and helped welcome and serve the guests during the wake. He didn’t wear makeup or bother wearing a mask, no longer caring if anyone recognized him.

All these, he did, mechanically. He didn’t know how he even managed to move in order to help the Kims with the preparations, but he did it.

When he wasn’t welcoming or serving anyone, he stood in a corner with Minkyu, staring at Sunggyu’s photo at the altar. It was an old photo of his, taken some time after his first remission, so he looked young and fairly healthy. Woohyun couldn’t help but wonder if the older would approve of it, but he probably would have preferred that than a recent photo that just showed how sick he had been in the recent years.

On the third day, they said their final goodbyes to Sunggyu in the morning, just before lunchtime. Woohyun left for Seoul right after lunch. Mrs. Kim did not forget to send him off with a hug of gratitude and a box of choco pies from Poongnyeon Jegwa Bakery.

When he arrived at the dorm, the members were all gathered in the living room, waiting for him, all looking worried.

Without a word, he thrust the box of choco pies at Sungyeol and dragged his suitcase to his room, shutting and locking the door behind him.

Sungjong slept in Dongwoo and Hoya’s room that night.

 

+++++++

 

After Sunggyu’s passing, Woohyun became lifeless. He went through everyday like a robot, taking instructions, mechanically. 

Two weeks after his return to Seoul, Infinite began their Summer Concert Series. At first, the performances went without a hitch. All the members were professional. However, it didn’t last long.

In the latter half of the concert, Infinite sang “Voice Of My Heart”. After singing his first line, the main vocal burst into tears and couldn’t go on. He tried, everyone was a witness that he tried to go through the song. When the members came back for a performance of “She’s Back”, they were missing one member.

The incident made Entertainment headlines everywhere, both local and international. Fans became worried that something was wrong with Nam Woohyun’s mental and emotional health. Due to demand and petitions from fans, Woollim announced that the main vocal was taking a month-long hiatus to recover (from what, that was vague to the fans).

Woohyun took that time to mourn Sunggyu.

He went home and locked himself in his room, only coming out for dinner due to the insistence and begging of his mother. Otherwise, he remained in his teenage room, staring at the ceiling, mind blank.

One night, his father came home and found his pack of soju gone from the fridge. He then discovered his son passed out in bed, surrounded by the missing bottles. The Nam patriarch then emptied out their fridge from all alcohol and refrained from buying any, for as long as his son was recovering from his heartbreak.

It was a bright sunny day when Woohyun was disturbed from his solitude by the doorbell one day. His parents were both at work. He was home alone. He considered not answering the door, hoping the person would just go away. But, in the end, something urged him to get up from his bed and trudge to the front door.

Mr. Kim stood on his front porch, looking worse for wear and holding a familiar pink box. Surprised, but not forgetting his manners, Woohyun let him in.

“Um… would you like anything to drink?” he asked, politely as he and Mr. Kim settled on the sofa in the living room.

“No, thank you. I won’t stay long. I’m sorry for coming unannounced, but I got your address from your brother at his restaurant. I just wanted to drop this off.” And with that, the older man handed him the box. “We found it in Sunggyu’s room when we were… clearing out his things.”

The two men paused in silent reverence for a minute. Woohyun’s chest started throbbing in pain again.

“Woohyun, I just want to thank you,” Mr. Kim said, looking at the younger man with a small smile. “I know I wasn’t particularly nice to you at first, but I was worried about my son.”

“I… I know, Mr. Kim. I understand.” And Woohyun meant it.

The older Kim cleared his throat again. “You know, I had my doubts about you from the beginning. But, you were there for Sunggyu, until the very last day. H-He…” Pausing, Mr. Kim took a deep breath to stop his voice from shaking. “He loved you so much.”

The younger felt a lone tear leave his eye and trickle down his cheek. “And I loved him. I still do. I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

“I know that now,” Mr. Kim said, with a kind smile. “I can see why my son fought so fiercely for you. You are a good and loyal man, Nam Woohyun. In the last few months of his life, you made him so happy.”

“I… I wish there was something else I could have done… for him to l-live.” Woohyun’s voice trembled, as more tears followed.

“We all wish there was something we could have done,” Mr. Kim agreed. “But, I’m glad that it was you who was with him until the very end. My son may have died, but he died happy. And my family and I will forever be indebted to you for that.”

Woohyun couldn’t respond. How could he with his sobs and aching heart?

Mr. Kim stayed, hand on the younger’s shoulder in comfort, until he calmed down. Then, he took his leave, giving Woohyun a firm handshake and making him promise to visit them in Jeonju sometime.

Woohyun placed the box on the desk in his room, but didn’t touch it all day. He ignored it until after dinner, when he was alone in his room again and the pink box stared back at him.

He placed the box on his bed and sat across from it. He stared at it again for a few more minutes.

Finally, he reached out with shaking hands and lifted the lid. Inside, what he found brought fresh tears to his eyes.

He reached in and picked up the black Infinite beanie with his name stitched on the back. He held it close to his heart, pressing his lips against the soft fabric. There was a faint scent of coconut on it.

Placing the hat aside, he picked up the next item: a black mask with a brown cartoon hamster on it. This time, Woohyun smiled, remembering how cute Sunggyu looked wearing it. His own matching bunny one was back at the dorm.

He put the mask on top of the hat and reached for the next item: a small stack of ticket stubs tied together with a rubber band. They were tickets from movies he and Sunggyu went to on their dates. He recalled that the older always kept the ticket stubs.

He placed them on top of the hat and took out the next item: a folder. He opened it to find music sheets: Sunggyu’s compositions. Some were finished, some were only half done, and some didn’t have lyrics. He found the song Sunggyu wrote for him: “Alive.”

He quietly hummed the melody of that song as he placed the folder aside and picked up the next item: a familiar small box. He opened it and staring right back at him was a silver key. He slid the pendant off the chain, removed the chain around his neck, and slipped the key into it, right next to the lock. He wore the necklace again, both lock and key now dangling against his chest.

At the bottom of the box laid a lone photo: the square sheet containing 6 different shots, taken in a photo booth during their first date. He took in their images, their smiles and silly faces, the joy in their eyes. Woohyun smiled, remembering what a wonderful time he had that night, one of his happiest memories with Sunggyu.

As the bright lights in his bedroom shined down on the photo, he could make out something faint reflecting back at him. Curiously, Woohyun flipped the photo.

Sunggyu’s familiar neat handwriting greeted him:

 

**Dear Woohyun,**

**I’m so sorry I had to leave you this way. I didn’t want to, I wanted to live. But, it seems that fate doesn’t want me to.**

**There isn’t much space on this tiny photo so I’ll keep it short. I love you. I love you so much. Thank you for making the last months of my life happy. I will take the memories with me wherever I go to next.**

**I know you will cry for me and I wish you didn’t have to, but I won’t stop you. But, after this, please don’t cry over me anymore, okay? Please continue singing for me and I’ll hear you in heaven.**

**I love you, Woohyun.**

**Kim Sunggyu, your #1 fan**

 

By the time he was finished reading, Woohyun’s shoulders were shaking violently as he sobbed his heart out. He screamed. He wailed. He let it all out that night and fell asleep, curled up next to the empty box and the stack of memories, the photo pressed to his chest.

Three days later, he bid his parents good-bye and returned to Infinite’s dorms.

He was only gone for two and half weeks of his supposed month-long hiatus. And he surprised Inspirits in Daegu when he showed up at the concert, singing his heart out on stage, despite the tears in his eyes.

 

* * *

 

“Woohyun-shii? Sorry for the delay! L-shii is done with his retouch, it’s your turn now!”

Woohyun broke from his thoughts. He looked up at the staff standing in front of him, looking harried, her eyes urging him to hurry up because they were pressed for time. It always went by so quickly.

He flashed a smile at her and nodded in thanks.

Putting on a professional air, he got his makeup retouched and obediently slipped into a dressing room to change into his new stage outfit. Sungjong and Sungyeol were still out there for their solo stage, but they would be done soon.

Woohyun practiced his vocals with Dongwoo and quickly ran through choreography with Hoya.

The rest of the concert went without a hitch.

 

+++++++

 

The drive back to the dorm that night was quiet. The other two members he was with had fallen asleep, exhausted from another night of performing. Only the soft sounds from the radio filled the otherwise quiet van.

But, Woohyun was wide awake, his eyes trained up to the sky. He wished he could open a window so he could see clearly, but the weather was getting cold: Autumn was upon them again.

And again, Woohyun wondered where the time went. It seemed to pass so quickly these days.

The van stopped at a red light.

Woohyun thought, _Screw it_ _!_ and lowered the window.

The freezing night air immediately blew into his face, giving him goosebumps. But instead of feeling cold, he felt refreshed. He caught Geonam flashing him a look of annoyance via the rearview mirror, but otherwise, the manager didn’t say a word.

The idol simply sent him a greasy smile before turning his attention back to the sky.

His eyes searched the heavens until he finally found it, the set of seven stars: Ursa Major.

His gaze fell on the star right underneath it: their star. His Sunggyu.

He smiled, affectionately.

 _Hey, handsome,_ he thought. _How are you doing up there? I miss you. It’s been 3 months since I last saw your cute face. Ahhh… I miss squishing your cheeks. We had another successful concert. Were you watching? I bet you had a front row seat. Did you see Yeol and Jong’s solo stage? Crazy, right? I think the fans were crying during my stage again. I’m sorry I can’t fulfill my promise of not crying yet. Maybe someday. But, not yet, okay? Be patient with me, you know how emotional I am._

The car began to move through traffic again, but Woohyun kept his eyes trained on the sky, his fingers playing with the lock and key around his neck.

_Sunghee-noona is pregnant, I’m sure you know. They hope it’s a boy, so they can name him after you. I wonder if he’ll have your tiny eyes and chubby cheeks._

Woohyun chuckled, wondering if Sunggyu was making his huff of disapproval at him now.

_If it’s a girl, Noona says ‘Gyuri’ would be a nice name. We’re having a Jeonju concert next week. Can’t believe I managed to convince seongsaenim to add it to the list of locations. I can’t wait to perform there. Your parents invited Infinite to lunch and to visit you. I can’t wait. I’ll bring strawberries._

They were almost at the dorm now.

_I still miss you, jagiya. I miss you so much. But, I’m going to keep singing, okay? I’ll keep singing, just for you. I know you’re always listening… I love you, still._

Although Woohyun could still feel Sunggyu’s absence like the loss of his singing voice, he knew the older would never leave him. He had his memories, after all. His time with Sunggyu may have been brief and the ending filled with grief, but nothing could replace the happiness he felt during that time.

Just like back then, he did not have an ounce of regret for meeting and having Sunggyu in his life. He was a permanent part of Woohyun’s story now, the one who kept him singing.

It felt so long ago, and it was taking him some time to get used to living without Sunggyu’s smile, his laughter, his nagging, and his affection. But, as long as he kept singing, the older never truly left him.

For the rest of time, he would have Sunggyu in his heart. And until time stopped, until they meet again, Woohyun would never stop singing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: **hands everyone tissues** 
> 
> Are you all okay? I'm sorry I made you all cry. If it's any consolation, I'm crying too. I cried while writing it. I cried while editing it. And I cried while posting it. 
> 
> But, I want to take this time to also thank everyone for sticking by this ridiculous tear-fest of a story that I never in my 24 years of living thought I would ever write, much less make one of my favorite Kpop pairings the stars of it. Thank you for being there through the fluff, the laughter, and the tears.
> 
> Please remember that time is always passing, and it passes so quickly. Please love with all your heart, mind, and soul. Let go of the fears, the doubts, and the apprehension and allow yourself to love and be loved in return. You never know when you're missing out on something so wonderful. Even if it ends in pain, you can look back on those memories with fondness and joy. You can tell yourself, "I loved and felt love." That is something that should never be taken lightly. 
> 
> Just like the Woohyun and Sunggyu of this story, please love with no regrets. 
> 
> Until the next time, I hope it will be a much happier story. I'm going to take a short break, as well, because this precious story of mine did take a great amount of emotional toll on me. But... there are no regrets. Absolutely none.
> 
> Love you, chingus!


	14. A Gift For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Surprise! Have you guys had enough of met yet? Lol, I bet you didn't expect this. So, because you guys are such amazing readers, putting up with me and my weird fascination with angst and tears and breaking my own heart, I thought I should give you guys a small gift. 
> 
> This is just my thank you for all your support and encouragement from the time I posted the foreword to the time when I finally posted the final chapter.
> 
> So, please, accept this small token of appreciation.

He was stirred from sleep by faint, succeeding beeps coupled with soft, racking sobs. The crying sounded so heartbreaking that they made his chest ache in sympathy.

Slowly, he opened his eyes, blinking rapidly to clear his vision. He was met by soft rays of sunlight peeking in from between the curtains, announcing the arrival of early morning. His eyes moved to the digital clock beside the bed – the numbers flashed 6:00a.m. He turned it off with a quick push of a button.

For a moment, he took several deep breaths and sent silent words of gratitude above for being alive, as he did every morning.

The soft sniffle broke him out of his reverie and he was reminded of why he woke up in the first place. He turned his body around to the figure beside him.

“Woohyun?” Sunggyu called softly as he sat up to scoot closer.

The younger’s face was wet with tears as he sobbed in his sleep. The vision broke Sunggyu’s heart, so he reached out to wipe the tears away.

“Hey… Woohyunnie… wake up,” he cooed, gently shaking the younger.

Slowly, Woohyun opened his eyes, blinking wearily into space, the tears continuing to fall. It took a few moments until his eyes widened in realization when they fell upon the older in front of him.

Sunggyu smiled, sweetly at him. “Good morning, jagiya,” he greeted.

Before he could comprehend what was happening, Woohyun had sat up in the speed of light and was wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug.

Sunggyu almost gasped in surprise, but he was used to this happening a lot, so he allowed it. He returned Woohyun’s hug, rubbing soothing circles on his back.

It took some time until Woohyun had calmed down enough to break the hug. His tears had stopped, but the haunted look in his eyes remained. So, Sunggyu’s solution was to kiss it away with a good morning kiss, a short one but it was sweet, just like their first.

As Woohyun composed himself, Sunggyu threw another look at the clock: 6:15am. He turned back to the younger.

“Hyun, I hate to break it to you, but it’s after 6,” he deadpanned.

The idol’s eyes widened as he grabbed his phone from the bedside table. “Shit!” he screamed, as the numbers staring back at him confirmed his boyfriend’s claim. “I’m going to be late!”

Sunggyu couldn’t help but laugh as Woohyun literally jumped out of bed and sped to the bathroom.

Knowing that the younger needed his space to get ready, Sunggyu left their bedroom to head for the kitchen to make breakfast and pack their lunch boxes. He always made the food the night before so they would be ready to pack in the morning.

As he scooped kimchi, fried rice, vegetables, and pieces of bulgogi into one large bento box and one smaller box, his thoughts went back to the man he left in the bedroom.

The younger had been exhausted last night, didn't come home until midnight. Sunggyu, unfortunately, fell asleep while waiting for him. It made him feel guilty, but he knew that Woohyun must have been relieved that he was resting by then. After all these years, he always made sure that Sunggyu got enough rest.

It had been four years since his last chemo session, right before his 26th birthday. That was the time he almost gave up and stopped fighting because he was so very tired of fighting. He had been ready to give it all up, live the rest of his life quietly. But, Woohyun’s angry reaction to his decision, his eventual despair, and then support for whatever Sunggyu decided... all of that rekindled his fighting spirit, his will to live.

_"I want to keep fighting… For you… So I can be with you for a longer time. I’ll try again. One more time. Is that okay?"_

He remembered saying that to Woohyun at the hospital. And he had never been so glad for trying one more time. 

Sunggyu had been cancer-free since then.

The first two years, he lived each day with fear and apprehension, waking up every morning with the thought, “Will it come back today?”

But, when 3 years passed and he was still as healthy as he could be, he stopped worrying.

Woohyun, however…

He felt arms snake around his waist, pulling him flush against a firm body as a nose poked at the back of his neck, sniffing him, playfully. Pausing from his preparation, Sunggyu turned around in the arms to meet Woohyun’s eyes.

The younger was no longer in dressed in his pajamas but in a v-neck shirt, cardigan, and jeans. His hair was wet from the shower and his face was bare of makeup.

“Good morning,” he greeted with a greasy smile.

Sunggyu returned it before tilting his head to the side with a concerned look. “Did you have a nightmare?”

For a moment, a haunted look flashed in Woohyun’s face as he nodded. Sunggyu knew that look very well. He had seen it many times in the year that they had been living together.

Woohyun had nightmares... really terrible ones. Sunggyu didn’t know when they started or for how long he had had them, but the younger would have nightmares about losing him, about him succumbing to that evil disease and leaving him.

The first time it happened, Sunggyu had just moved in with him. They lived in a condo unit in Yongsan that was infamous for housing top businessmen and corporate leaders – no one suspected an idol to be living there. It was perfect for them.

A week in, Sunggyu woke up to the sounds of crying and found Woohyun sobbing in his sleep. So he reacted in any way a sensible boyfriend did at that time: he freaked out. He shook Woohyun awake, asking him what was wrong and if he was hurt anywhere. At first, the younger refused to tell him what caused him to cry. But, of course, Sunggyu was stubborn and demanded it. They even had a 3-day fight because of it where they gave each other the silent treatment.

Always the first to give in, Woohyun finally told him about the nightmares. So now, Sunggyu was no longer surprised whenever it happened; he would simply wake the younger and hold him until he calmed down.

“Same one?” he asked the idol, although he already knew. It never hurt to ask, though.

Woohyun nodded again before sighing, deeply. “It felt so real,” he answered in a soft, vulnerable voice. “Always the same thing. You dying in my arms or dying in your sleep. And there was nothing I could do.”

“Hyun, maybe… you need to talk to someone?” Sunggyu said, slowly. They have had discussions about this before. It was also a frequent source of fights between them, so the older made sure to tread the subject, carefully. “That support group I told you about? We can go together and-.”

“No,” Woohyun answered, firmly. “You know I can’t.”

“It’s anonymous and-.”

“Sunggyu, no.”

His tone held finality so Sunggyu gave up. He would try again another day. But, for now, he would try to make his younger boyfriend feel better in the way he knew always worked.

“How real did it feel?” he asked, gently.

“Too real,” Woohyun mumbled with a deep frown.

“Then, let me remind you of the true reality.”

Before the younger could say anything else, Sunggyu leaned in and captured his lips with his. Almost immediately, he felt Woohyun relax in his hold as his arms held Sunggyu tighter against him. Sunggyu moved his arms to wrap around his boyfriend’s neck, his fingers playing with the little blonde hairs on the back.

The idol had dyed his hair platinum blonde for Infinite’s upcoming comeback. It contrasted nicely with Sunggyu’s own dark locks, which had grown over the years and was now thick and fluffy. He still wore his Infinite beanie when the weather was cold, though.

Woohyun carefully nibbled on Sunggyu’s lower lip, causing the older to release a soft groan. His younger boyfriend was aggressive with his kisses sometimes, especially after a nightmare. It almost felt like he wanted to drown in Sunggyu. The older didn’t mind; it meant that Woohyun had stopped treating him like a porcelain doll like the first two years they were dating.

A ring of Infinite’s “Be Mine” suddenly went off, forcing them to break apart. Woohyun groaned in annoyance as he took his phone from his pocket and seeing the caller ID: Geonam.

“Hyung?... You’re outside? I didn’t even eat breakfast!... Fine, fine, I’m coming out!”

Meanwhile, Sunggyu turned to the food on the table and pouted. He had been hoping he and Woohyun could have breakfast together. But, duty called and it was time to part for the morning. He grabbed another bento box and stuffed it to the brim with the egg omelets he made that morning along with the rest of the bulgogi. He stacked it on top of the other bento box he prepared that morning and wrapped them up in a cloth, neatly tying it at the top.

He turned around just as Woohyun hung up from the phone. The younger had an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry I can’t join you for breakfast,” he said with a pout. “But, I’m late.”

Sunggyu handed him the bentos. “Eat this on the way,” he said. “I’m sure the other guys are hungry too, so I packed extra omelets and meat for them.” He flashed the older a pointed look. “Share," he commanded.

“Why do I have to share my food with those guys?!” Woohyun whined as he took the boxes. “They take my food all the time!”

“Because you’re a good hyung who takes care of his dongsaengs while your leader is in Japan,” Sunggyu answered, smiling fondly.

Dongwoo was away doing a musical so while he was gone, Woohyun was holding down the fort as deputy leader. But, it felt like Sunggyu was the one doing most of the caretaking as he always packed extra food for the members and forced Woohyun to distribute them. He had even won the managers' good graces by packing food for them too. 

Woohyun pursed his lips in displeasure, but otherwise didn’t protest. Sunggyu walked him to the front door, where the younger put on his shoes and jacket. The older fastened his face mask for him and gently shoved a beanie over his head.

“Have a good day at work,” he said, ever the dutiful partner.

Woohyun removed his mask again and playfully puckered his lips, silently asking for a kiss. Sunggyu rolled his eyes, pretending to be annoyed, but otherwise leaned in to kiss him good-bye.

“What time do you end today?” Woohyun asked.

“Six.”

“Pick you up for dinner?”

Unable to stop himself from grinning, Sunggyu nodded, eagerly. Woohyun leaned in again for another good-bye kiss, whispered an “I love you”, and was soon off to his idol duties.

Meanwhile, Sunggyu took his time eating breakfast and watching the morning news. He texted his sister and they chatted about his 3-year old nephew, and she invited him and Woohyun to lunch next weekend. Then, he got ready for the day.

As usual, he took the elevators down from their 10th-floor apartment to the 2nd floor, then took the back stairs so he could use the back exit, and then walked to the bus stop. Taking the back doors was not only convenient for him, it also avoided suspicion about his relationship with Woohyun.

Although they had been dating for 4 years now, there was still no openly gay idol in South Korea’s entertainment industry. And Woohyun was at the peak of his career, being hired for more and more acting jobs and asked to collaborate on many songwriting projects. Not to mention, Infinite was now known internationally as one of Korea’s top 10 idol groups.

Sunggyu could not afford to be selfish and ask him to come out – even if the younger had offered.

Their relationship wasn't perfect, of course. No relationship was. Both men were stubborn, so fights were bound to happen. But, as strong as their personalities were, their feelings for each other were just as strong. Even if they were angry and couldn't stand the other's presence, they made it a point to always sleep in the same bed together. They preferred waking up disgusted with each other's face for a few days than waking up alone.

Thus, they always made up. 

Sunggyu didn’t have to wait too long for the bus to arrive; it was always on time. The older boarded and he was soon on his way to university.

After being told that he was in full remission for two years already and may continue to be so, Sunggyu finally took the initiative to enroll in an actual university instead of taking online classes like he had been doing while he was recovering from chemo.

He was now in his second year as a Music major at Korea National University of Arts. He was older than most of the students there, but that didn’t deter him from accomplishing his goals. He may be too old to train and debut as an idol now, but he could still fulfill his dream of making music by composing and producing. With Woohyun’s encouragement and never ending support (and he made his younger boyfriend swear not to interfere and allow him to do this himself), he had applied to an internship program at Woollim and had gotten accepted – he was starting in the summer.

His life was finally on track for something greater and he wasn't going to waste this chance. 

Sunggyu’s day was, for lack of a better word, normal. He dutifully went to all of his morning classes, meeting up with his classmate and friend Annie along the way. She was a foreign exchange student from America, and they were partnered for a project at the beginning of the semester. Her Korean was not the best, and Sunggyu could say the same for his English, but they helped each other out the best they could and had become great friends in the process. 

The two friends had lunch in the cafeteria and Annie chattered on and on in English. Sunggyu could only catch a few words because she was talking so fast (something about a guy named Yoon from the theater department). At some point, a familiar voice caught his attention and he lifted his head from his packed lunch to the source.

The television was showing a talk show where the guests were familiar: Han Seungyeon and Nam Woohyun. They were talking about the new drama they were both starring in as the leads.

“Now, Woohyun-shii, you and Seungyeon-shii here have some very cute and romantic on-screen interactions in this drama,” said the host, giving them a teasing smile. “What about off-screen? Anything going on there?”

She wiggled her eyebrows for good measure. The two idols laughed at the question. Sunggyu’s eye twitched.

“We’re very good friends in real life,” Woohyun answered, his idol smile perfectly in place. “We hang out with the rest of the cast sometimes and we all go out to dinner.”

“Seungyeon-shii, what’s Woohyun-shii like towards you on set?” asked the host.

“Oh, he’s the best! He’s always making sure I’m hydrated or had eaten,” replied the female idol. “He’s a perfect gentleman!”

“She forgets to eat sometimes, she’s so stubborn!” added Woohyun, flashing Seungyeon an amused look.

“Awww, so sweet! It looks like you two are so close already!” exclaimed the host.

“Sunggyu, why are you trying to break your chopsticks?”

The crisp English broke the male from his concentration on the interview. He blinked and stared down at his hands. His fingers were clutching the wooden chopsticks so tightly that any further pressure and the sticks would break. Warily, he put them down and shook his head at Annie, who was giving him a weird look.

“Nothing,” he replied in English. “Sorry.”

She pursed her lips to the side, suspiciously, before raising her gaze to the T.V. Her eyes twinkled in amusement, immediately.

“Ahhh... Nam Woohyun,” she stated and in Korean, added, “You really like him, huh?”

 _You have no idea,_ Sunggyu thought to himself. Instead, he answered, “He’s a talented artist. And I’m his number one fan, remember?”

It took a few seconds for her to comprehend the Korean, but Annie eventually nodded, sighing as she watched the T.V.

“He really is handsome,” she agreed. “My favorite is still Dongwoo though.”

Yes, Annie was an Infinite fan. And she was insanely jealous that Sunggyu got to intern at Woollim in the summer while she had to return home to America.

Sunggyu chuckled at her dreamy look as she began to babble on and on about Dongwoo now. He turned his head back to the T.V. screen – the interview was wrapping up and Woohyun and Seungyeon were inviting viewers to watch their drama that was airing soon.

He took his phone out and texted: **Watched your interview about your drama. So you're close with Han Seungyeon now, huh?**

He sent the text before he could talk himself out of it. Damn, he sounded so petty. But, sadly, he learned that when it came to his boyfriend, he was a jealous man.

If it was any consolation, Woohyun was a jealous man too. He was suspicious of Annie's intentions for a month until Sunggyu had to remind him that although he liked both genders, he preferred men... Which was why he was dating a man in the first place! It calmed the idol down... until a new project partner who was a man this time came into the picture. Poor, Hyunshik. He couldn't understand why a man wearing a beanie and a bunny face mask had threatened him to stay away from Sunggyu before boldly proclaiming that the hamster was his. Sunggyu couldn't face the younger student for weeks!

His phone buzzed soon and he checked to see a reply from the man on the T.V.:  **Don’t be jealous of Seungyeon-noona. You’re still prettier.**

Sunggyu scoffed, but smiled as he typed a reply: **I’m not pretty, I’m a man.**

A few seconds later, the reply came: **You’re pretty to me. <3**

His eye twitched at the heart emoticon. He replied with: **Aren’t you supposed to be shooting that CF?**

The next reply took a little longer than the last: **Lunch break. Guys say thank you for the breakfast this morning. Yeol wants to marry you but I said no.**

Sunggyu chuckled this time: **Tell him thanks but no thanks. My type is someone else.**

He waited a few seconds and sent a follow-up text: **It’s Myungsoo.**

The reply was instant: **Hyung! TT_TT**

“So are you ever going to introduce me to your boyfriend?” Annie asked, in hesitant Korean. As an American, she was much more open-minded than most of their classmates and kept goading him to introduce his boyfriend.

She was smirking at him as he typed his response.

**But seeing as Myungsoo is not attracted to men, you’re the next best thing.**

He looked up to reply to Annie, “Maybe someday. But, it’s not a good time for him right now. You know…”

He let the sentence hang and Annie nodded in understanding.

His phone buzzed again:  **Hyung, you're so mean! But I love you anyway. :3**

Sunggyu's cheeks burned as his heart thumped loudly against his rib cage. Woohyun never failed to make him feel so... alive.

The two friends went back to their lunch, discussing their classes, and Sunggyu occasionally texting Woohyun until the younger had to go back to shooting.

The rest of his day was uneventful. Just classes, playing around in the music rooms with his classmates, helping a hoobae with a composition.

Soon, his last class of the day ended exactly at 6 p.m.

After bidding his classmates goodbye with a promise to join them for a study session next week, Sunggyu headed for the parking lot, trying not to notice the slight excited skip in his steps as he went.

Already waiting was a familiar dark blue BMW with tinted windows. Unable to stop the smile from tugging at his lips, the music major hastened his pace to reach the car. The door was already unlocked so he quickly went in, throwing his backpack in the backseat.

Before he could greet the driver, he was pulled into a mind-blowing and passionate kiss that had him closing his eyes and sighing in bliss. He felt the familiar comforting warmth of happiness in his chest and the plain sense of contentment and he couldn’t help but smile into the kiss.

If there was anything in this world that Sunggyu was grateful for being alive for, it was moments like these.

When Woohyun let him go, the older took a moment to look at his idol boyfriend: his bright brown eyes filled with love and affection, his sharp nose that could cut through anyone’s cold heart, his cute dimples that could make the angels sing, and his sexy lips that knew exactly how to set fire to his body.

Okay, so Woohyun’s greasiness had rubbed off on Sunggyu, sue him. Being with the guy for four years, it was bound to happen. Not that he would tell him all these, of course. It was Sunggyu’s little secret. Like how his Appa had warmed up to his boyfriend but chose to play around with him and pretend that he didn’t like him.

“How was your day?” the idol asked, breaking Sunggyu’s musings.

“It was good, but I have a lot of projects for next week and we have a test too!” he whined.

Woohyun began to back out of his parking spot and drive to their next destination. “Does that mean you’ll be busy all weekend?” he asked.

“Yes,” Sunggyu answered then puffed his cheeks. “Besides, it’s good distraction since you’re working, anyway.”

He pouted a little and Woohyun sent him a small, guilty look. “I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you.”

“I know you will.” Sunggyu responded with a reassuring smile.

Of course, he understood. His boyfriend wasn’t a regular guy who worked 9-5 and had weekends off. Sometimes, he wouldn’t even be home until the early mornings when Sunggyu was already asleep. He was also away a lot and for long periods of time, to other districts or overseas. And he kissed women in front of the camera.

Sunggyu would be lying if he said he didn’t wish for more, that he didn’t wish for them to have a somewhat normal relationship, to just go out and be together without people batting an eyelash or ruining the idol's career. He wished he could be selfish, for once.

But, now, as he looked at Woohyun, contentedly driving them to a date that he managed to squeeze in despite his busy schedule, Sunggyu really couldn’t be selfish. The younger was doing his best, as he had always done, even back when Sunggyu was weak and could barely leave the house without bundling up and wearing a mask. Even if he didn't have time... Woohyun always made time for Sunggyu.

The only difference now was that time was no longer against them. They were gifted time. And they would be damned if they wasted it focusing on what they didn’t have rather than all the wonderful things they already did.

“You seem to be really thinking deeply about something, jagiya,” Woohyun’s voice broke through his thoughts again. “Are you upset with me?”

“Yes,” Sunggyu said, honestly. “But, I know you’ll fulfill your promise.”

He smiled at the blonde who smiled right back. His eyes not leaving the road, Woohyun reached over with one hand and took one of his own. He lifted Sunggyu’s hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the knuckles.

Yes, tiny moments like this was a gift from time.

 

+++++++

 

“I love you.”

Sunggyu raised his head to meet Woohyun’s affectionate gaze. “Good,” he said, before cuddling closer to his boyfriend’s warm body, his legs tangling with the other’s as he tried to calm his breath.

The older buried his nose against the younger’s bare chest, inhaling the scent that was a mix of Woohyun’s natural musk, sweat, and the aftermath of their passionate lovemaking. He could still feel the burn of the younger's touches on his bare skin, the burst of pain and pleasure from their joining, and the love from each press of their lips. 

It was a feeling that they couldn't seem to ever get enough of. Each one just left them wanting more and more.

Sunggyu shivered slightly from the cold air, which didn’t escape the blonde’s notice. Woohyun grabbed the edge of the comforter and pulled it up to their chins, covering their bare bodies.

“Aren’t you going to say it back?” Woohyun asked, pouting, his voice still husky.

Sunggyu, silently pecked his chest in response. The younger let out another whine, which made the older chuckle at his childishness, still apparent despite the very adult activity they just finished.

They stayed wrapped up in each other’s arms, allowing their fast heartbeats to slow down to steady rhythms again.

Four years ago, Sunggyu had been ready to accept his fate. He was prepared to leave Nam Woohyun to find his happiness in someone else who could love him for a long time, whose future was certain, unlike his.

But, now, feeling the bliss and happiness of being in love and staying in love in the past four years, Sunggyu didn’t want to let this go anymore.

His doctor had cautioned him that the cancer still had a chance of returning. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow or next week or next month or next year, but someday, in the far off future. And Woohyun knew that too.

“Gyu?”

“Hmm?”

“What will you do if it comes back?” Woohyun asked in a soft voice, his fingers playing with Sunggyu’s dark strands.

Woohyun needed to be reassured. He always asked that question every time he had that terrible nightmare. And Sunggyu’s answer was always the same.

“I’ll fight it.”

The arms around him tightened and he responded by pressing himself closer to the firm body beside him.

“You won’t let me go, right?” Sunggyu asked.

“Never. We’ll fight it together.”

A short, silent pause. And then... "I love you too. So much."

The older felt fingers under his chin lifting his head up to meet Woohyun’s loving eyes. “We have all the time in the world now,” he said, thumb stroking Sunggyu’s cheek. “Will you stay with me?”

“Until time ends,” Sunggyu immediately answered.

“Greasy.”

“I learned from the best.”

Woohyun leaned in to press his lips to Sunggyu’s, his kisses sealed with silent promises that they had every intention of keeping.

Time flies. It goes by fast. In the blink of an eye, it’s gone. So, when you have time, don’t waste it. Spend that time loving.

And that was what Woohyun and Sunggyu intended to do for the rest of time... until it ends.

But, for now… they have this.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, I had actually started thinking about this when I was writing Chapter 10. And I started writing a few lines while finishing Chapter 11. And by the time I started writing Chapter 13, I knew I wanted to give this to you guys as a gift, for being so amazing to me throughout this story.  
> Consider this as a sort of Alternate Ending, a what-would-have-been. 
> 
> As you can see, Sunggyu is alive, but Woohyun is now suffering from some kind of mild PTSD, which is actually possible for some family, friends, and caregivers of cancer patients and even cancer patients themselves to have post-cancer. According to my research, there are therapies and support groups for this, but obviously, you have to choose to use them. But, Woohyun and Sunggyu are lucky, in a way, because they have each other as supports.
> 
> So, yes, time. Time can be against you. But, if you learn how to use it well and not waste it, it becomes a gift. Don't waste your time, chingus. Love and be loved.
> 
> Until the next time!

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: From here on out until the last chapter will be the flashback.


End file.
